My brainwashing has melted, and I have lost my way of life. How to live

The influence you received from the environment you grew up in has shaped you, and that has shaped your life, right? When you think about living your own life, such as what you've noticed in your encounter with your wife and life, things you want to regain your true self, the way you've been looking for, your feelings for your partner, etc., you think it shouldn't be the way it is now.
While I have doubts about living like this, my current life seems very painful.

First, why don't you connect with an organization that understands and supports a position similar to yours?
・Second-generation religious support groups
・Religion II Support Center Hidamari
・Law Terrace (inspirational commercial law compatible dial, etc., even for minors, 2nd and 3rd generation)
You may be able to get hints from the thoughts and ways of life of people who have survived with similar thoughts, etc.

Also, there are probably reasons why wives don't want children. I think anxiety about childbirth is also great because I have my own disability, such as physical burden, risk of childbirth, and anxiety about raising children. It could be life-threatening. Maybe it's not unreasonable not to be positive.

Even if we proceed with the divorce story, it is weak in terms of divorce reasons such as wanting or not wanting children, and if there is no “serious reason why it is difficult to continue the marriage,” the wife probably won't be convinced. It's also a matter of your way of life, so it may be hard to say, but how about communicating personality disagreements and differences in values?

Also, if you feel responsible, I think it would be a good idea to consider your wife's claims as much as possible during divorce property division discussions.

This is because living your future life for yourself is your natural right to be happy.

I read it.
I think it's been very difficult for you to live your life sacrificing yourself until now. I don't know the details about you or the people around you, but I really understand your feelings.
It is very important that you want to live the way you want to live without sacrificing others anymore, and you can live by taking good care of yourself. Please take care of yourself first. Please live a way of life that makes you happy.
And be sure to tell your wife and those around you about it.
You have a right to take care of yourself, and let me tell you about that. There may be times when you get along with your wife and the people around you because of that, but even so, you should clearly tell them about it and think carefully about the future.
If your wife or others around you have disabilities, be willing to receive support not only from you, but from many other people. You can also receive various medical and nursing services and live supported by many nursing care workers, and let's consult with social workers and social welfare corporations to receive explanations about various services.
If you want to raise children in the future, please have a thorough discussion with your wife about that too. If your wife is still unable to raise children, let's face it closely and discuss what to do as a married couple in the future. Among them, saying goodbye may be an option.
Either way, your future and life are important, and your wife's future and life are also important.
I sincerely pray that you will be able to take care of yourself in the future, respect and compassion for each other with the many pictorial people, and live your life healthily.
And I wholeheartedly support you, your wife, and everyone.

Children are something you give birth to, so if you can have sex from time to time, I think it's okay to have a posture where you give up if you can't. I feel like I'm leaving it up to nature. Why don't you say that to your wife too?

From the sentences, I got the impression that they were somehow bound by people's rules. Aren't people too bound by the rules and rules that this is what they should do, what they say, and what they have to keep?
What does it mean to be tied down?
It's just that the image is that if you break it, you'll be scolded; if you don't match it, you'll be blamed; it's just a matter of contraction.
Apart from that, it's fine if you don't break up with your wife.
The threatening rule within yourself that you have to do this makes you suffer, so why don't you just remove that? Mothers are important to children, so don't rob your child's mother according to your own rules.
Starting today, don't use words that deny yourself or your family.
“Wife, Disabled, Unemployed, Mother Christian Emerging Religion, Father Depression...”
It only focuses on bad places, as if they were being treated as bad guys. That kind of thinking always makes me stand on the edge of a cliff, so don't do this kind of thing. Aren't they afraid of getting lost because they shouldn't be like this?
The reason why Shinran Shonin and Yoshihiro call themselves stupid or daikan is because all humans are imperfect. You are also abandoning perfectionism and forgiving the imperfections of imperfect people who try to brainwash parents and people after standing from a very forgiving point of view.
There is no identity that I cherished for 30 years in the first place, and I can think that my experiences and experiences have been updated even now. The highlight is that I'm looking at something new today as well. Your ears are all things you're hearing for the first time today, right? With a way of thinking, I look at it from one side as if I have kept trying to do something, so I'm also bound by my thoughts.
There is no denying the body's excretion. The appearance of ingesting what is necessary and living a better life.
In the same way, people throw away old things and continue to feel refreshed every day.
The providence of this world called impermanence is a form of silence and comfort where you can always break away from the thoughts and thoughts that torment you, and escape from it.
People should connect only because of their weaknesses and imperfections.
Even if you want to get away from your life with your wife, let's look for a friendly facility so that your wife can live alone, as a responsibility you've lived together until now.
Please use words, actions, and ways of life that make you and your partner sound happy and good. 🔔✨