I want to be freed from appearance problems

We became good friends, and we were able to go out to play together. I was shocked by that kind of reaction. I'm so sad that contact has also been cut off. Certainly everyone has different tastes. Still, people who don't have kindness or respect for their partner are disappointing people.

Preferential treatment is given only to cute girls... it's outward appearance discrimination, isn't it? Nor can people be judged based on their appearance alone.

It is said that there is no shortage of concerns about appearance, but what are the things that evaluate and make you shine? There must be charm points too. If you want to fall in love with your appearance, do research on fashion and makeup, and take care of skin care. Nowadays, even makeup techniques can change the impression. I think there are many children who secretly make an effort so that they can have confidence in themselves.

Even as we become a society that accepts diversity, harassment and human rights violations such as lookism, sexism, ageism, and misogyny are serious issues. That's why, by building correct knowledge, and a firm relationship of trust, we can protect ourselves and our loved ones, and realize a society where it is easy to live.

As an administrative counselor and advocate, I am also connected to various types of support.
Don't lose either. To that end, please build up your strength.

Take the words and compassion of people who are kind to you more seriously than the attitude of those who hurt you. That will give you confidence and strength.

No matter what you look like in front of the Buddha, there is no change in the precious brilliance of “life.”

First of all, it was really painful to be heartbroken by that painful experience. Gathering up courage and being able to remove the mask is definitely not a mistake. Unfortunately, the guy who left was probably only looking at your “outside.” In Buddhism, it is called “color heart fuji (color heart fuji),” and the body and mind are one, but a shaped body always changes and declines at some point (various acts are impermanent). If you are obsessed with something that changes and try to put all value into it, there will be no shortage of suffering.

For example, “appearance” is like the “cover” of a book called You. There are people who choose by cover, but what really matters is the “story (heart and way of life)” written there. It's the person who only looked at the cover and returned it to the bookshelf, so there's no need for you to deny your own story.

In order not to get hurt, try changing your perspective by saying, “My value is not how I am reflected in the eyes of others, but how I live.” In order to meet someone who values your courage when you remove your mask and your honest heart, please take care of your own mind first. There is always someone who really loves you.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

It was a very painful experience.
I think the scar only deepened the more I gathered my courage and removed my mask.

First, one important thing.
“Your attitude changed at the amusement park = your face is not necessarily the cause.”
A person's attitude changes due to many factors such as their immaturity, mood, values, and views on romance.
We quickly create stories where we are hurt by events, but these are interpretations rather than facts.

However, there is something more essential.

There are always people who judge by appearance.
This is unfortunate but true.
But at the same time, there are definitely people who don't give top priority to appearance.

The cause of suffering is more than “not being chosen based on appearance,”
Isn't it a feeling that we have to keep standing on the chosen side?

As long as you surrender your worth to “the other person's response,” your heart will continue to shake.

The key to liberation
“What kind of person do I want to be chosen by?” It's about returning the axis to

・Do you want to be liked by people who select products based on their appearance
・Do you want to meet someone you can have a safe and funny relationship with

What you really want should be the latter.

When you feel that people have judged you based on your appearance, think about it this way.

“This is not an assessment of my worth; it is an expression of that person's values.”

That's not your point deduction,
Information that “this person is not from my world.”

And one more thing.
Appearance problems don't “go away when you like yourself.”
The first thing you need is not to fall in love, but to stop making conditional self-evaluations.

“If it's cute, it's worth it”
“If chosen, you can feel safe”
It's about letting go of this assumption little by little.

You are
They are people who have the courage to take off their masks.
It's a far greater appeal than it seems.

People who really care for you
I'm looking at your reassuring smile, not the intensity of the light.

It takes time,
Your worth isn't determined by someone's momentary expression.

I read it.
Something like that happened, didn't it? I think you are very shocked and sad. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know the true extent of why that person changed their attitude, but I think it's okay to fade out thinking it's someone you didn't have a relationship with. I don't know exactly what that person likes or how compatible they are with you, but I don't think you need to go out with someone like that.
If that person makes a decision based on how they like their appearance, I think it's even better not to go out with them.
You may be feeling very sad, but I think it's okay to leave people alone who judge only by their appearance.
Everyone probably has different tastes when it comes to how they look, and it's a bad trend for the world to make too many people look good or bad.
I think it would be fine for each one to be just the way it is.
I used to worry about it, but now I hardly care about it.
There are certainly people who are particular about appearance, but appearance isn't everything. It's no secret that what's on the inside is important.
No matter how good they look, they will eventually grow old, and they will naturally change.
So please don't just get caught up in the way you look.
I sincerely pray that you will be healthy both mentally and physically, and that you will be able to share your happiness from the bottom of your heart and soul with your truly loved ones.
And I wholeheartedly support you.