I want to stop “a woman's enemy.”

Nice to meet you. I would like to ask the monk to cheat you this time, so I would like to discuss it with you.

I now work for a company where 70% of my employees are women. Although 70% are women, most of the positions held are men.
Today, the director (male) told me that he would like me to visit customers because he is looking forward to future work. It's a big customer, so I thought I'd do my best, but to the woman who is my direct supervisor, “You're a young, cute, and nice kid, so you're treated to entertainment,” and “if you say you're going, we have to go too. I was told, “It's annoying.”

The director says it's just an opportunity for learning, not entertainment. I want to grow even more, and above all, I want to believe in the director's feelings.
However, if it was an act that trampled on the thoughts of women within the office, and by extension, in the world, I felt pale that I couldn't just be happy.

Of course, I am mentally and physically strong, I was raised diligently by my family, and I was blessed with people and was able to live up to this point without major failure.
My family taught me that “we should give back to the world,” and I want to do that myself.

However, after all, when something like this one happens, the feeling that I want to chase my own learning and growth rather than stand the brunt of the world (women this time) comes to the fore.

I think this is nothing but annoyance.

Could you give me a mindset for self-improvement by looking towards the world rather than my own desires?
It's been 4 years since I went out into society. I don't think we should stay children forever.
Thank you so much for your guidance and encouragement.

4 Zen Responses

Unfair entertainment is a violation of compliance. Confirm preparations and roles.

Even if I were in your position, I would love to accompany you on good occasions. In the business world, places for entertainment such as dinners are sometimes set up in order to build a smooth relationship of trust with business partners. There is an advantage that friendship there leads to good information, and the enthusiasm of this side is also easier to reach. I'm accompanied by an experienced director, so I'd like to look forward to learning a lot.

However, my boss (woman)'s words catch me. 70% of workplaces are women, so isn't it common for male directors to accompany them? However, if it's an easy selection or evaluation of someone called “young, cute, and female,” it's harassment, isn't it? I think there was such an example in the past.

“It's annoying” is very tough, isn't it? Does that mean you're lacking prudence? Instead of words like that, it would be nice if they taught “companion manners, sexual harassment prevention, and safety assurance.”

That's because nothing is happening right now.
However, entertainment that deviates from compliance is a violation of compliance, so be sure to confirm preparations and roles for entertainment with the director.

Eat the weak and the strong (use all weapons), suitable conditions

Does this mean a visit involving food and drink (entertainment) outside of working hours?
Realistically, there are times when a sense of solidarity is created at drinking parties, etc., and getting close to work-related people can also make everyday work enjoyable, so that's not a bad thing.
If it doesn't violate internal rules, etc., I don't think there's a problem.
If you take a step back and think about it, humans are animals too, and we live in a world where the weak eat the strong.
There are only a few countries where the law works properly, and overseas, even police officers may threaten tourists and take money.
In a world where the weak eat the strong, you can survive by mobilizing all kinds of weapons.
Even if it is a weapon unique to “young women.”
However, in Buddhism, it is better not to kill, steal, lie, have an affair, or drink alcohol as much as possible, even if you are a householder who is not a monk.
Entertainment is also better to avoid from the beginning if the content cannot be revealed to others (you have to lie later).
Moderate when (making) people drink alcohol.
Wouldn't it be forgiving to keep searching for an appropriate (just right) condition for anything?
There are times when long-standing customs do not match the times, and there are also cases where world trends are too extreme, so let's continue to make adjustments by judging “appropriate” each time.

Let's calm down and gain understanding

I read it.
It really conveys that you are worried about how you should act. I don't know the specific situation, so it's quite difficult. I sincerely understand your concerns.
I think it's a good thing for you to be told by the director to accompany you for self-improvement.
Right now, I think it's also necessary to gain the understanding of my current boss. So I think it would be nice if the director explained it to the boss again.
That's because it's about accompanying employees as part of their work.
I don't know the customer specifically, so I don't know the extent of their true intentions, but let's face our work from now on while getting understanding from the people around us.
There may be various speculations swirling around within the company, but please stay calm and work while gaining understanding without being in a hurry.
I sincerely pray that you will continue to be blessed with various encounters and relationships, that you will continue to have many wonderful experiences and learn, that you will grow healthily as a person, and that you will be able to live a fulfilling day while understanding and helping each other with the people around you.
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Ambition to improve oneself is by no means a bad desire that should be put to a lid

Thank you for your consultation. The text I received conveyed a very positive and sincere attitude towards work.

First, let's sort out the situation as a realistic workplace issue. As you said, there are aspects of excessive entertainment that we should be careful about in terms of recent compliance. However, the direct female boss's words “applied because she is young, cute, and nice” and “annoying” are too harsh. This can fall under power harassment that reduces your motivation and harms your dignity. You are by no means an “enemy of women.” You don't have to carry all those unreasonable words on your back.

You see the pure desire to “grow” within yourself as “anguish,” and you are worried that it must be destroyed for the sake of the world. However, while we are afflicted, we are beings who are illuminated by the light of mercy and kept alive as we are. Ambition to improve oneself is definitely not a bad desire that should be put to an end.

You must learn well, develop abilities, and eventually grow into a position where you can protect latecomers who feel unreasonable. As a result, I think that will lead to the “return to the world” that was taught.
Please don't be atrophied by the heartless words around you and cherish your own opportunities for direct growth. I wholeheartedly support your steps.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

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