Regrets about not having a relationship in the past

When I was in middle school, I did something embarrassing that I couldn't say. Nothing in particular was gained with it. Also, no one knew whether they were lucky or unlucky.
However, if I had found out, if everything had gone in a bad direction, I might not have been in my current position.
We took it seriously in high school. I seriously restarted what I did when I was in middle school.
Of course, only I know about this. Even when deciding on a career path after high school, if you keep silent about junior high school scandals, you won't find out, but as long as it's a life choice, I'm worried about whether that's OK. Is that enough? Can we push ourselves to the next career path? Also, due to the nature of career paths, there is a lot of competition with others, and I also feel like I will change someone's life by continuing on my career path while hiding it. How should we deal with it?
Side note, what bothers me the most is, of course, that there are partners and people in relationships that can cooperate with them, so I can receive evaluations from people who don't know about the scandal and move on to the next career path without confessing to anyone.

4 Zen Responses

Let's make a confession.

　Good evening. I read your sincere worries over the years.
What you've done... regardless of how others evaluate it, it's still smoking in you today, isn't it? Then, I read “I want to confess this feeling that I can't wait alone to someone.”
My recommendation is Buddha and Ancestors.
If you have a Buddhist altar at home, go in front of it; if you know a temple, visit it, or it doesn't matter if it's a big local temple. Let's confess in front of that Buddha without covering it up.
Something you've done in the past. How do you perceive that? What do you want to do with it now? There is no need to tell us in detail, but let's confess to the Buddha in an environment where others are not listening.
That is where the Buddha is thankful. Humans can do quite a few things depending on their environment and condition. The Buddha knows that. So, when you confess, I think the Buddha will accept it and say, “Well, you've found a way to live by using it as food.”
I also have a past that I can't tell anyone else. Every morning, the boys start their day by confessing their own remorse at work. I can't spend my time without having the Buddha bring yesterday's luggage.
This isn't just about faith. You can also turn to Christ in the Church. If it's an old Japanese way of saying it, “I confess to Mr. Otendo” is fine.
There are people who share in your suffering. As I walk through life like that, I sometimes remember, “When I was in middle school, I did stupid things. But thanks to that, I realized something important.”

Past events don't change, but their meaning changes as the mind grows

Thank you so much, Tacchan, for having the courage to confide in this honest heart to Hasunoha.

Despite having past mistakes that no one could tell anyone about, you were able to take your high school life seriously and face yourself. Ahead of a major milestone in my life called my career path, the feeling that I stopped thinking “is it okay to leave it like this” because of that sincerity came through painfully. My heart is also shaking at that honesty.

In Buddhism, we humans are called “ordinary men (bonbu).” It's the way it is, having anguish (hesitation), committing a crime without even realizing it, or having an embarrassing part that no one can say to anyone.

I feel that the fact that Tacchan looked back on that time and realized who she was is proof that you have “grown” that much.

The Buddha called Amida Nyorai is not a Buddha who orders us to “don't do bad things, do good things.” Rather, even if you want to do that, you can't do it easily, and it's the Buddha who completely envelops and guides “you who are shivering with sorrow and mistakes you can't say to anyone.” After looking through all of your past and current conflicts, he said, “I won't leave you alone. I'm always there for you. I'm your cheering leader!” They keep calling out.

The facts you have committed in the past won't go away, but it is precisely because you have experienced that pain and conflict that you will be able to be more gentle and close to the weakness and pain of the people you will meet in your future life than anyone else. Instead of continuing to hide your past as a “stain you want to erase,” you can re-accept it as a “precious experience” that will support you in the future.

Right now, the sight of you seriously working on what is right in front of you is the greatest form of atoning and proof of sincerity. Don't be bound by the past and close your future, but take a step forward with all your heart along with that pain. You're not deceiving someone's evaluation, but your “sincere efforts” now will bring you a new relationship.

First, please look up at the sky and bathe in the light of Otendo-sama. Then try taking a deep breath. Look, Taiyo is supporting Motacchan. Both the Buddha and the monks of Hasunoha sincerely support you in taking a new step forward.

Your question is whether you can really get excited. It is also necessary to worry hard.

Worrying means “this shouldn't happen” and “I want to change myself.” My past failures and mistakes always ask me questions, and they also put the brakes on me so as not to deviate from the path.

How long will you carry it on your back, and what will you repent of? Whether it will be negative or positive for your future way of life is also something that you will thoroughly learn from your experience.

Are you really excited? Now that we've answered, your own problem. If you think it will have an impact on those around you, even more than that, I would like you to clarify the career path you want to take and work hard towards it. That's why I went this route. Isn't that what it means to respond to the cooperation of those involved? Let's think about “now and in the future” so that we can receive it as an evaluation of who you are now. Because you can't change the past, and you probably don't intend to confide in it. If that's the case, it's also necessary to worry about it thoroughly.

Let me tell you what you think from the bottom of my heart

I read it.
You've caused embarrassing things and scandals that you can't tell people in the past. That has gone unnoticed until now, hasn't it? You're worried about how you should live from now on, aren't you? I don't know the details about you, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

If you are obsessed with the past, please put your hands on the Buddha, God, and your ancestors and confess them as they are. Please clearly express your thoughts and sincerely reflect on what you have done. Let's sincerely repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and sincerely apologize to the Buddha, gods, ancestors, and those you have hurt or caused damage from the bottom of your heart. Also, please swear from the bottom of your heart that you will never commit the same mistake again to the Buddha, gods, or ancestors.
And please swear to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors that they will continue to do good thoughts, words, and actions for the future.
Buddha, gods, and ancestors will kindly accept all of your thoughts. They accept your heart, gently snuggle up to you, and guide you to a good path.
You can be guided by Buddha, gods, and ancestors to walk in a good direction. You can move forward into the future along the path you are aiming for.
Please firmly convey your thoughts to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors.

I sincerely pray to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors so that you can continue to be gently watched over by the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and that you can continue to move forward steadily on the path you are aiming for, and that you will live through healthy by keeping good thoughts, words, and actions in mind every day from now on. We wholeheartedly agree
And I wholeheartedly support you.

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