I'm frustrated with my husband

Because he is an important husband, and it is precisely because he forgives his heart, that he just clashes with his feelings. You're suffering from that self-loathing, aren't you? Since they are careful at work and play “going away,” the home is probably the only place where you can speak freely with peace of mind.

In Buddhism, we look at humans as “ordinary men (bonbu)” whose hearts are moved in any way due to relationships. We are by no means worthy or perfect. Even if they can be rational outside, selfishness and anger (anguish) erupt at someone who has forgiven their heart. This is the unmistakable form of a human being.

The reason you get frustrated with your husband is that if you turn it over, your husband is a “safe place” for you, and is a rare presence that accepts you just the way you are (weakness or immaturity). I am very thankful for that.

You don't need to blame yourself for being “no good” when you get frustrated. That feeling of remorse, saying “I've done it again,” is proof that the Buddha is illuminated by it. Instead of forcibly suppressing your emotions, try honestly telling them “I'm sorry I was spoiled earlier” when your mind calms down. That one word should become a “Buddha relationship” that further deepens the couple's bond.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

The first thing I want to tell you is that you are suffering only because you “care about your husband.” If it's someone you really don't care about, you won't have to worry this much. At the point where you regret it, it doesn't mean that your vessel is small.

Why do you only hit your husband so hard? More often than not, it's “because I feel safe.” There is tension at work. There are also ratings. That's why reason works. However, my husband believes somewhere that he “will never leave.” They are unknowingly spoiled. This is also a phenomenon that occurs because there is love.

Another important thing is to notice yourself reacting to “things that don't turn out the way you want them to.” The source of frustration is the expectation that “it should be this way” and “I want it to be like this” rather than the other person's behavior itself. My heart aches the moment those expectations are disappointed. That pain is overshadowed by anger.

Buddhism explains that if people try to judge the world using their own yardstick, it becomes painful. The more I try to change my partner, the harder my heart becomes. However, when you can take a step back by saying “it's OK to be different,” it becomes a little easier.

One practice is enough. When I was frustrated, I didn't immediately put it into words and asked, “What was I expecting right now?” Please ask the question in your mind. The real intention behind anger is often the loneliness of “I want you to understand” and “I want you to cherish it.” Practice conveying your true intentions in soft words, not thorns. I think that alone will change the relationship.

You're not someone who can't control your emotions. They are made in the workplace, so they are people who can actually do it. However, my heart is just bare in front of my husband. Don't blame yourself first.

I don't think it has to be perfect. It shakes only because I love you. How to handle that fluctuation is the maturing of a married couple. Try holding back your anger for just one breath today. That's enough, and I think you're moving forward.

Please take care of yourself.

I read it.
You get frustrated and hit your husband hard, right? You are very sorry about that, aren't you? I don't know the details about you or your husband, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

I don't know exactly what state of mind you or your husband are in, but I think you're living with very little room for children right now. Aren't you always being driven into a hurry because you have absolutely no time to spare at work or in terms of life?

First, why don't you try to relax your own life, rest your own mind and body, and heal them even a little bit.

Let's stop doing this and that now for a moment, rest your hands, and let go. Also, let's treat your husband peacefully.

I sincerely pray that both you and your husband will live peacefully and peacefully every day, and that while respecting and caring for each other, they will help each other live their precious lives in good health and survive. We wholeheartedly agree

What is the cause of irritability? Does it mean that your husband doesn't match or move with your ideals and excessive demands? If that's the case, let's properly apologize to your husband when you notice it.

Also, if there is a cause on the husband's side that is frustrating, let's convey it with an “I message” rather than straight words or attitudes that say yes. “You're always like this!” It's not a way of blaming them, but using me as the subject and saying, “I want you to do this. What do you think? Let's convey the feeling of conveying “I want you to tell me.” Also, when your husband takes action, express your gratitude. Let's build up that kind of communication and compassion.

I do DV support on a daily basis. The severe attitude that builds up becomes violence that exhausts and hurts the opponent. Let's look back on your actions from now on so that you don't engage in DV against your husband without realizing it, and don't face an unwanted future such as divorce.

Also, let's find ways to relieve the stress of frustration so that you can relieve it yourself without hitting someone close to you or someone who is silent.

Please complain about anything, even if it's a trivial matter. There's always someone here to answer. It responds to you. By writing questions, you can sort out your feelings. Your frustration will subside.