My past infidelity became known to people in the neighborhood

Right now, you're really suffering, and it feels like you're in the dark with no way out. It is said that the days of not being able to sleep without appetite continue, so please take care of yourself that your mind and body are in a state close to the limit.
You blame yourself for being “terrible,” but the reason you think so is because you are inherently sincere and have a heart that cares about your husband.
I will sort out the current situation and tell you points of view to lighten your mind even a little.

① “Talking” and “not talking”
Sometimes speaking honestly isn't necessarily “sincere.”
The risk of speaking. Your sense of guilt may be lightened, but it will cause your husband to inflict two major wounds at the same time: “past betrayal” and “humiliation that the neighborhood knows about it.”
Choosing not to talk. It is extremely painful, and it is also a cruel act of kindness to protect my husband's current happiness, which requires preparation to “take it to the grave.”

② Using “husband's happiness” as the subject
My husband says, “I'm happy right now.” This is an irreplaceable truth.
If you confide in it, that “current happiness” will collapse in an instant, and there is a possibility that all memories will fade by going back to the past.
Is happiness for the husband “knowing the truth and getting hurt properly,” or “living a peaceful everyday life without changing from his beloved wife.”

③ How to deal with neighbors
Neighbors don't talk to their husbands is a kind of “consideration.”
Rumors gradually fade as new topics come up. It's probably more like a needle right now, but if you get upset here and change your attitude or go around suddenly apologizing, it will only make the fuss louder and increase the risk of getting overheard by your husband.

④ WHAT YOU CAN DO
Right now, don't rush to the conclusion of “whether or not to divorce” or “whether to confide.” Judgments when the mind and body are weakened inevitably tend to go in an extreme direction (in the direction of self-punishment).
First, get back in shape. Rest your body while drinking a warm drink.
I will do my best to support my current husband. You can't change the past, but how happy you can make your husband in the future depends on how you behave.
Also, consider spitting out all of your chest to a counselor or someone who has a duty of confidentiality, such as consulting with a trusted third party (expert).

When in doubt, either is fine.
If it's really necessary, you can decide without hesitation.
The fact that it cannot be determined from current information is an incomplete problem, in other words, a problem with insufficient information when it comes to school test questions.
If you can't make a decision based on current information alone, you can roll the dice to decide. (Because there are no correct answers.)
Another reason “either is fine” is that whether you get divorced or not, your suffering and dissatisfaction will not go away from your life.
Buddha discovered that suffering does not go away from living things.
The pain won't go away. It's just that the shape of suffering changes moment by moment.
And it's just that the form of coping and responding to suffering changes.
When I was a kid, I had homework (dealing with suffering) every day, and I understood that it was normal, but as an adult, I sometimes forget the truth that having homework is normal.
However, dealing with pain and suffering moment by moment will not go away.
In other words, whether secrets are revealed or not, there is no change that there is suffering.
Whether you get divorced or not, there is no change in suffering.
So it's fine.
Living is difficult anyway, so after being relieved that whichever one you choose,
Let's work to get new information if possible.
If you gather information such as what kind of thoughts your husband has about infidelity, and what kind of procedures and lives await in the event of a divorce, etc., there may come a time when you can make a decision.

Your estranged friend knows about your affair... it's scary.
The affair itself doesn't mean anything like this. Since they're adults, I think it's fine if they like them, but it's a risk for someone to know about the relationship. If people around you or your loved ones know, like this one, you'll lose what you've built.

Information has been leaked. We were friends, but that's a shame.
Neighbors also hold secrets, so I don't trust them.

However, it's a story without any proof, is it? Wouldn't it be better to live by cutting shirasu? If you say you're different, you can't prove it to anyone.
I've kept quiet up to this point, so let that go through.
No matter what people around you say, I don't want you to acknowledge it. It may be cheating, but I think it's kindness to my husband to hide it and say it's different.

Even if I confide in it now, it will annoy my husband and I won't be able to return to the marital relationship like before. That's all in the past. It's good if it's your husband's good wife. That's because that's where you belong.

First, cheating was not love, but lust. Moreover, both the affair partner and you both have high risk desires. A simultaneous terrorist act in which two dead people are born to betray their partner's love. (When the other party is also a married person) So if anyone does it, they attack people wild horses, and rumor-loving peepoo attacks people who did it for self-superiority because of Honore's flaws and cover-ups. The reason why the public beat Nagano Mei was so intense is that people who make noise have that kind of mentality. Love is the act of protecting that person's life until the end. Therefore, infidelity or cheating is an act of destroying an eye with a thief, so it is considered something that should not be done. Also, if people who are not involved keep saying it indefinitely, they probably attack people who actually have a negative mentality within themselves and did it to maintain their own safety. That is also an unloving act.
So your friends aren't friends. There's no love, so everyone shouldn't get involved starting today.
That's because they're all people who weren't friends or anything. That's also a big difference in love.
There's no love there either.
So let's go back to the title and know that it's the difference between love that breaks everything. I reflect on whether I hadn't played the effects of true love at all until now. After that, he devotedly works on remorse for the affair and the act of making amends for the crime.
Even though you had to value your love with your husband the most, you despised it.
Your delusions have run wild and I haven't been interested in you for a long time, but isn't this going to happen someday? I think it's also your narcissistic delusion.
Everything will break if I tell my husband.
So it would be a good idea to go to the grave.
You'd better go through with it because you couldn't say it.
Did you ever betray me directly from my husband? When someone tells you that, you should apologize for it and step away.
Therefore, now they are on probation and there is no need to say anything else at all, and even if people around them say something, it's a self-love action of them that they just want to gain an advantage in order to break the peace in this family, so don't get involved because it's not love for you.
People are reborn physically and mentally every day.
That's why we should change from our foolish acts in the past and pour true love into our husbands as if we were apologizing for that foolishness. It is an act of cheating, infidelity, and infidelity when people who don't know where true love is and reach out for something they are unloved in search of love, even if it's sad to be loved, based on self-love and greed.
Love is something where each person develops the power of love.