I have a past where I hurt people, and I'm worried about the future

Thank you for your consultation. You still regret your mistakes when you were in middle school and continue to blame yourself. That deep sense of introspection is proof that you are a sincere person who understands the pain of others.

You've already gathered up your courage to apologize and have made peace with your partner, so please forgive yourself. Buddhism teaches that all people are imperfect beings with their own imperfections. Everyone has the foolishness of hurting people without offense. Being aware of that fact and being able to sincerely reflect on it is a great asset for you.

Feelings of “wanting to be alone” and “getting involved with people of different generations are troublesome,” are natural feelings that every human being has, to varying degrees. It's definitely not just for you.

But as you yourself say, we can't live alone. Everything is made up of “relationships.” My current friend, who has become good friends with nature, is also the result of a precious relationship.

From now on, there is no need to stretch out to force yourself to actively get involved with anyone. However, please cherish each and every one of the “relationships” formed right in front of you and try to live carefully in the present. If you know your own imperfections, you will surely be able to have a warm relationship.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
You really regret hurting people in the past. You think it would be better for you not to get involved with people too much. I don't know the details about you, but I can guess from your heart.
I think you are still feeling very sorry.
Please sincerely join hands with the Buddha, God, and your ancestors to confess your thoughts as they are, deeply reflect on what you have done and repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and sincerely apologize from the bottom of your heart to the Buddha, gods, ancestors, and those you have hurt. Also, please swear sincerely to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors that you will never commit the same mistake again.
All of your thoughts, repentance, apologies, and vows reach the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and the Buddha, gods, and ancestors kindly accept you, and they always forgive you.
You will always be able to live in relationships with many people, being gently watched over by Buddha, gods, and ancestors.
You don't force yourself to avoid people, and there's no need to force yourself to stick with people. Let's start relationships with people in your own way from now on.
I sincerely pray that you will cherish yourself and those around you for the future, and that you will be blessed with wonderful encounters and relationships and grow healthily, and that you can live a rich and happy life from the bottom of your heart by caring and helping each other.
And I wholeheartedly support you. We wholeheartedly agree

I have had many similar experiences.
When I think about it, I'm so embarrassed that I want to go into a hole.
There was no offense at all.
I was immature as a human being.
On the other hand, I have been hurt many times by bad words from my friends.
From my own experience, I also know very well that I didn't offend my friend.
In short, we're both like each other.
As the title suggests, people live by hurting each other.
And then it grows.
You can be a really kind person.
I think that is the real thrill of living as a human being.
I'm afraid of bumping into people, and it would be a waste to live as a lone wolf and only have superficial relationships.
Open your graduation album and say goodbye to a life where people say, “Was there such a guy in my class?”
The age of the other person doesn't matter.
Let's have the courage to bump into each other and hurt each other.

There was such a thing, wasn't it? The rant comes back to me. I'm sure you were keenly aware of the extent to which you lost your friends when you were made to realize that the reason you were dumb was your own immaturity.

Being on good terms doesn't mean it's okay to say anything, does it? You must have had a sad, painful expression even before your friend said they'd never meet again. I think they shut up and their smiles faded away.

Relationships with people make you aware of yourself and have a big impact on your growth. Building relationships is also something we learn from people with whom we have built good relationships and people we think are wonderful.

What kind of relationship do you have with the environment you grew up in, your parents, and your family? I was a little worried. Until now, haven't there been people close to you that you can talk to or show kindness to?
I had a connection when I arrived at Hasunoha, and I felt that I wanted to change myself.
I wonder if the trouble of getting involved with people who are older is something I feel based on my experiences. I think there are also preconceptions.

I've been involved with a lot of people, but there were many things I didn't know and couldn't see, and there were many good things about everyone. There are advantages for you too. There are also many different words and expressions. Let's learn a lot of words in order not to hurt you if you use words in a friendly way.
Please continue to connect more and more to Hasunoha from now on. I wonder if it will be a big step.