My mother likes fortune telling. It can be decided by the results

My mother likes fortune telling, and I'm worried that her personality will be determined based on the results.

In fortune telling, it seems that it is called a “personality that sees people and assigns them to the right place” and “personality that blames people when problems occur,” but the former is unaware, and although the latter may have some such aspects, it has never hurt people or become trouble. (It's just my point of view)

On the other hand, until now, even if I tried to discuss it with my mother, I was often unilaterally denied that “you are bad,” and even if I express my thoughts and feelings, they have continued not to be accepted.

Honestly, I was often told “you don't know what you're thinking,” probably because my way of thinking is quite different from my mother's, so I think I rely on fortune telling results to resolve my unclear personality from my mother's point of view.
My mother sees “you are that kind of person” based on multiple fortune telling results, and she treats her based on that assumption. Currently, I am living away from my parents' house, but even now, the results of my fortune telling are sent and it is decided in the same way, and it becomes painful every time.

I think it's difficult to get them to stop telling my fortune telling itself, but I want them to at least stop judging me by the results of my fortune telling.

In this situation, how should I deal with my mother?

4 Zen Responses

Thank you for your question.
You should return it to your mother like this every time. “The monk Hasunoha says you can't do fortune telling, don't believe it. The Buddha said that fortune-telling is prohibited. That's why I don't do fortune telling, and I don't believe in them. You can't trust your mom either.”
If you're worried about not knowing what you're thinking, it might be a good idea to tell them what you think from time to time to make them feel at ease. That's because every parent is always worried about their children.

It's about not taking the words your mother sends you head-on.

I understand that your relationship with your mother is very painful.

The reason why your mother relies on fortune telling and determines you is probably due to anxiety about not being able to fully understand your heart as a daughter and “unsatisfied feelings” about reality that do not go the way you want. All humans are weak beings who, when they feel limited in their own power, are tempted to cling to unscientific things. In Buddhism, we humans are regarded as “imperfect beings (ordinary men) with worries.” Mother, too, is just an imperfect person in the midst of confusion.

As the consultant felt, it is almost impossible to stop the fortune telling itself or to change the personality of an adult. Even if they are parents and children, they are completely different people, and there is no need to force your mother to match your values.

We recommend that you keep a clear distance between your heart by dividing that “your mother is an imperfect person who can only get peace of mind by relying on fortune telling.” Fortune telling words are “decisions” born from your mother's hesitation, and they are not your true form. Please do not take the words sent by your mother head-on, and take good care of your own life as you are.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Let's move away from an errant point of view

I read it.
Your mother tells your fortune teller to tell your fortune and determines your personality, doesn't it? You're feeling very bad about being decided by your mother, and it's painful, isn't it? I don't know the details about you, your mother, or the fortune teller, but I understand your painful feelings from the bottom of my heart.

Specifically, I don't know how that fortune teller determines your fortune telling and determines you, and that your mother uses that kind of relationship with that fortune teller to make decisions based on her words and actions.
But I don't like what the fortune teller said. If your mother fully believes in fortune tellers, it may not be easy to deny it.

However, I think it is possible to calmly tell you that “this is definitely not the case” in response to what you have decided without permission.
If you live away from your mother, I think it's okay to calm down and calmly write your opinions and thoughts in a letter and send it to your mother.
The mother may refute that, and she may be jealous of the fortune teller again, but I don't think it's necessary to accept it at all.

If you have delusional beliefs about fortune tellers, your thoughts and personality will probably be denied, but there's no way to do that. I think it's okay to keep a distance from your mother for a while.
That's because what the fortune teller says and what the mother believes are “bad opinions” and opinions. It's something you don't need, so let's throw it away.

There are people in the world who take such erroneous views and cause prejudice and anxiety to others. Please stay away firmly from people who have such erroneous views.

I sincerely pray that you and your mother will be able to live a healthy life every day without being misled by such erroneous views and prejudice, and that you can cherish and respect each other with care and respect. We wholeheartedly agree

Let's protect ourselves by keeping a reasonable distance from those who deny us.

That's tough, and it hurts, doesn't it? What do you know about me when it comes to fortune-telling with no basis I don't really understand? and. It's also disappointing that your parents believe things that even you (you) wonder about.

However, fortune telling has probably become a guideline for mothers in their own lives and the relationships surrounding them. I don't think people who have lived that way will accept a different point of view or values at all.

If it's someone else, it's not that easy for parents and children, even in relationships that end when they break up. However, everyone has differences in their way of thinking and values.
For you, keep a reasonable distance from those who deny you and protect yourself. It's impossible for fortune telling to decide anything. Rather than relying on such things, let's cherish the ability to see what's in front of us, and connect with people like that. Those people will really understand you.

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