About the direction of my life

I've always been closed in my heart until now.
That means the love partner is a foreigner.
The reason I remember myself was a half-celebrity who appeared on an educational program when I was in kindergarten.
There was an electric shock.
Since then, I've always had a vague longing for foreigners and foreign things.
I can't go to my house every year, but I felt close to a foreign country because there were many friends, returnees, and girls, and there were quite a few children who didn't have trouble living in English or Chinese over there, even though I couldn't go to my family every year.

When I went to high school, it was a school that focused on international exchange, so there were always international students, and conversely, there were children who went to study from Japan, and the school excursion was France, so I felt closer to the foreign atmosphere.

I wanted to move on to a job involving a foreign country, but my parents objected and they didn't understand it, so it didn't come true.

There was a limit to being a minor and a student, so I gave up once, but as an adult, I was able to work on my own and saved up some money.

When I became an adult and thought about what I wanted to do again, the desire to work in a foreign country or involving foreigners didn't go away.

Also, these are all relationships, but the desire to date and get married to a foreigner if I had the chance didn't go away, so I started attending French classes a few years ago.

There were also a few Japanese people, people I had relationships with, and went out to eat, but my sense of incongruity didn't last very long.

I can't verbalize it well, but I don't like that common part peculiar to Japanese men. Once I realized they wouldn't accept it, it became impossible even if I had the chance.
But it's a sensory thing, and I can't put it into words well to people around me, so they don't understand it.

It's also painful for people around me to say “ideals are high” and “dreaming Yumeko-chan.”

Is it strange to say that I like foreigners?
My mother emotionally blames me for thinking I'm going out with a foreigner, and it's painful not being understood by people around me.

Personally, the romantic partner is of the opposite sex, and the romantic partner is a foreigner in the same group as if the romantic partner is of the same sex.

It wasn't put together well, and it became a sentence where I didn't know what I wanted to say, but it's painful because I can't understand foreigners even though they are romantic partners.

4 Zen Responses

Please let's get close from now on

I read it.
You're longing for a foreign country, and you want to be in a relationship with a foreigner. It's not strange that you have that kind of hope, and I think it's very nice.
The NKH TV series novel “Babakake” is being broadcast right now, isn't it? It's a very heartwarming and wonderful drama modeled after Lafcadio Koizumi and his wife, Setsu.
It's a story where Heaven and Toki get to know each other in the drama, become close, get married, and create a wonderful work together. There was probably a lot of discrimination and prejudice against foreigners at that time in the Meiji era, but I think it is very precious to see the two living while helping each other without succumbing to such foolish prejudice and discrimination.
There are so many foreigners in Japan now. Therefore, I think you will be able to socialize with many foreigners even in the area where you live in Japan.
Please continue to have a close month while communicating closely with foreigners, and let's deepen relationships with many people, get to know each other, and live well together.
I sincerely pray that you will continue to be blessed with wonderful encounters and relationships, deepen relationships with many people, and grow healthily as a person, so that you can live a rich and rich life while understanding each other from the bottom of your heart.
And I wholeheartedly support you. We wholeheartedly agree

You, no one else, decide your own life.

Thank you for sharing the thoughts you have kept hidden in your heart for so many years. It's very painful not to be understood by people around you, and especially to be blamed by your mother.

In Buddhism, all encounters and connections with people are considered “relationships.” Love is also a relationship, so there is no need to distinguish whether your partner is originally Japanese or a foreigner. The fact that you are attracted to foreign cultures and people is by no means a “strange thing,” but it is your own natural movement of mind.

The reason your mother shows a negative reaction probably comes from “kindness” of worrying about realistic issues (nationality, place of residence, child-rearing, custody troubles in the unlikely event of divorce) when getting married rather than denying you.

However, the present is a future we have yet to see, so there is no need to struggle with the words around us. If you are actually blessed with a wonderful relationship and develop into a relationship or marriage, you will naturally face and think about realistic issues on your own at that time.

You, no one else, decide your own life. Please cherish your own honest feelings and nurture relationships without being impatient.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Be aware of instincts, ideals and reality, and time limits

I've heard that people find average facial features beautiful.
The nose is neither too high nor too low, the eyes are not too small nor too big, not too far away, not too close, etc.
The reason why there are so many beautiful men and women in the half is probably because the characteristics of different races are mixed and they have more average facial features.
Also, from the viewpoint of progeny prosperity, there is a possibility that those incorporating diverse genes will give birth to children who are resistant to various diseases.
Also, there is a possibility that ethnic groups that have survived tough battles for thousands of years on the continent are physically stronger than Japanese people who have lived in small island countries, and incorporating those genes will also lead to prosperous descendants.
So maybe it's your “instinct” that you like foreigners.
If it's an instinct, I don't think anyone can deny it.
Also, I think foreigners have an instinct to incorporate Japanese genes.
For example, Japanese people are said to look young for their age when viewed from a foreigner's point of view.
Of course, this is not a society where everyone can live according to their instincts.
Even if a man says, “I like blondes, so it's impossible to date anyone other than blondes,” in reality, not all white people are blondes, so there is also a possibility that the man will be preached by his parents that “it's unavoidable to stick to blondes forever.”
The same can be said even if you replace “blonde hair” with “big boobs,” “beautiful girl,” “thin macho,” “double eyelids,” or “a voice that is smooth and beautiful like a voice actor.”
We have ideals and reality, instincts and reason (calculation), and our time in life is limited, so we need to be aware of time limits no matter what kind of dream we pursue.

The fact that there are people living abroad. You can see that the world is wonderful

Isn't that good! I want to cherish my “likes.”
Up until now, you have been exposed to foreign people, scenery, and culture. On top of that, you're drawing not only your admiration, but your own way of life and lifestyle in a foreign country, aren't you?

Right now, there are a lot of people living overseas, and there are also many active Japanese people. Even if you live in Japan, it can be difficult and tough. Every country has the kindness and splendor of its people.

Certainly, discrimination and strife also occur due to differences in culture and history. But that's because we don't know each other. To gain peace of mind, be able to protect your own safety and life with reliable information and connections. If you do that, wouldn't you be able to find the way you want to live in any country?

A lot of questions are asked about Hasunoha. The gap between living with a foreign partner. Differences in perception of history due to differences in education. Asian discrimination. Differences in support and systems that can be received. There is no way to complain about violence or harassment... I've also heard such real concerns. This is a problem that also exists in Japan, but things may happen in foreign countries where you have to face it alone. Parents' objections may be due to such concerns. It's not like I want to take away your future; you're probably worried about worrying about yourself.

Since it is also true that there are many people living in foreign countries even though they assume various things, you can see that the world is wonderful.
Please gather thorough information and make your dreams come true.

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