I can't go visit graves

How deeply hurt and difficult days have you been able to endure in your life so far by yourself. Really, you've made it through to this day very well.

There is absolutely no need to be frightened by the phrase “you will be unhappy if you don't go to visit graves” you see on the internet etc. There is no such curse teaching in Buddhism, so don't worry.

Certainly visiting graves is important, but there is no need to regret not being able to go due to various circumstances. What is important is not a “place,” but an appreciation for the connection of life. It doesn't matter if it's not a grave. You can do it from your room or just look up at the sky. Gently put your hands together to your ancestors and express your gratitude for “the fact that I am being kept alive now.” If you have that heart, your thoughts will reach you enough.

In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “impermanent behavior.” The truth is that everything changes all the time and will never stay the same. The days up until now, which have been a series of deep sorrows and misfortunes, will never last forever. There will always come a day when peace in your life comes.

Don't blame yourself now and rest your mind and body. No matter where you are, the Buddha is always watching over you kindly.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
I read that you have continued to have difficult things until now and have had a very painful feeling that cannot be expressed in one word. I think you've been deeply hurt by each one of them. And I think you're still living with that painful feeling. I don't know the details about you or the people around you, but I understand your painful feelings from the bottom of my heart.
When you see “it's important to go to visit graves” written on YouTube etc., you think that people who can't go to visit graves won't be happy.
I don't know exactly what kind of video they're saying, but visiting graves is certainly important, and I think it's very important to hold memorial services for ancestors without visiting graves. Praying will make you feel very thankful, and your mind will be cleansed.
Nonetheless, it doesn't mean that you can't be happy if you don't visit graves, and it doesn't mean that you will be unhappy or have disasters if you don't visit graves.
It would be a mistake if such a video existed.
You have many ancestors. Even if you don't know where your grave is, you have many ancestors who are always watching over you and everyone. The Buddha, gods, and ancestors are trying to support you by accepting that you are having a very difficult time right now.
Even if you don't know the location of the tomb, please put your hands together with the Buddha, gods, and ancestors from the bottom of your heart and pray from the bottom of your heart, and please pass on your painful feelings to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors as they are.
The Buddha, gods, and ancestors will kindly accept all of your thoughts, and they will be close to your heart and comfort you. He also guides you in a good direction and saves you.
Also, let's talk about your painful feelings to people you trust, or talk about it here too; you already have relationships with us here too.
I sincerely pray to the Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can continue to put your hands on the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, be gently watched over by the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and live peacefully and happily while being blessed with many relationships.
And I wholeheartedly support you. We wholeheartedly agree

The power of what you can't see does not lead to misfortune. If you determine something that has no basis in this way and send it out, it will make the viewer feel uneasy, right? When it comes to video streaming, there are many excessive expressions that many people should watch it. Let's make sure we don't get swayed around.

Respect your ancestors, and if you want to go see them, let's also visit their graves. However, everyone has circumstances, right? For people who have had a painful experience, it can be difficult.

The Buddha always greets you. If you feel like putting your hands together, please go to the temple. The Buddha will be there, right? They also accept your feelings. The temple space is relaxing so that you can face yourself.

Also, it's a good idea to welcome the Buddha into your home. Even if you don't think of it as a Buddhist altar, it can be small, so go for the Buddha. You can always put your hands together.

Here are two important points of view when visiting graves.

① Looking at the relationships and relationships between our ancestors and ourselves, positively accepting the depth of the direct “relationship” and “relationship” between ourselves and our ancestors, and being aware of the fact that your current life has been protected and conveyed, you will also be grateful, and you can get a true sense of security that far exceeds the desire for approval and self-affirmation that was created.

② In terms of Buddhism, graves are also a symbol of Buddhism's religious spirit “Bodhi Heart.” It's a memorial tower for vows.
Graves, pagodas, quintuplets, and Buddha statues all express the religious spirit of Buddhism and guide people's hearts.
The religious spirit of Buddhism, also known as Bodhicitta, is a clean spirit of vow that saves everyone and leads them better.
What we build with a vow to save ourselves, scoop up all sentient beings, save stones and leftover carrot scraps, and save the universe is a tomb, memorial tower, and Bodhisattva Pledge Tower = Stupa. Therefore, graves are places to hold the bones of the deceased, and they are not memorial towers; they are built by humans from a pledge to leave human self and ego, save everyone, and not help them. This is because if everyone makes such a clean pledge, the world will be at peace.
Pledge towers to save yourself, loved ones, and people you don't like are graves and placards. Therefore, even if you can't find a grave, having that heart and spirit will lead to visiting graves. Even if you just visit graves, if you don't have that spirit, you won't be visiting graves.

A tomb in Buddhism is slightly different from an ossuary for an unreligious person in a cemetery, and it is a place to cultivate the religious spirit. The origin comes from Buddha's memorial tower, Stupa.
Your ancestors are people directly connected to you through your DNA. Your ancestors gave you many blessings, gifts, grants, and protections, and you have been protected. Raising children is difficult in any age. If my ancestors had abandoned childcare, I wouldn't have existed. (Parental abuse is also a problem, but I think there is a background and reason. It saves that too.)
This is how I am today due to my relationships with my ancestors. Let's be familiar with the fact that it exists in this way, take a close look, find out the truth here, clarify it, and gain peace of mind and comfort.

Let's have mercy. When people have something they cannot bear, the burden of their mind is released on the person close to them, the weakest person. That may have been reflected in a harsh attitude towards you.