I want to stop inheriting temples.

I read it.
You don't want to take over your work at the temple right now, do you? If you think about a temple, you won't be able to think, and you won't even be able to eat. I don't know the details about you, your family, and the temple, but I can tell you that you are having a very difficult time. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
You're worried about whether you'll kill yourself when you reach your limit, or whether you'll live in a faraway place.
Specifically, I don't know what kind of things are driving you mentally, so please share your feelings to the extent possible. Also, why don't you talk about your feelings with your parents, people you trust, specialists, and counselors?
It may be quite difficult to talk to your parents, so maybe it's better to talk to people you trust, specialists, or counselors.
First of all, please relax and rest your own mind; you may not need to think about temple work or temples for a while. I don't think it's necessary to just do temple work.
Please relax and relax your mind little by little.
You are a very important person, you are a very precious person.
A lot of people care about you, and I'm sure they will treat you kindly.
I sincerely pray to the Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can first rest slowly and be cared for both mentally and physically, that you can live every day richly with peace of mind, and that you can respect each other and live every day compassionately and happily.
And I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree

I'm really happy that you're alive to this day. Furthermore, I think the fact that he confided in Hasunoha the burden he has carried alone has an even more important meaning. Exactly, I accept that it is something I am “thankful for.”

“Guitar strings break if they are too tight. “If it's too loose, it won't make a sound.” This is a “parable of the middle road,” which has been told since the Buddha was still alive. Can you recall what you heard in college lectures? If you take it as “a state where you return the favor you have received from your family with revenge, live alone in a place far away from your relationship, or commit suicide if the limit is reached as it is,” then it is natural that you are suffering every day. This is proof that we have fallen into an “extreme” way of thinking, which is the opposite of the “middle way.”

It's clear that the depth of your life and your suffering so far has given birth to such thoughts. However, the Buddha gave me a new perspective, thinking that there may also be a “middle way” way of thinking that is not “both extremes.”

First, here are some specific suggestions. It's about carefully writing out the factors that led to panic disorder.

Did you take regular days off for yourself? Didn't you feel too much pressure from your boss or your father, who is the chief priest? How satisfied were you with your main job and side job? Other than your family, did you have people you could talk to or friends you enjoy your hobbies with? Please take a close look back at yourself. From the viewpoint of creating an environment where you can live while dealing with your own panic disorder, what you can do now/ what you want to ask your father or family for help from an expert. Please try classifying them.

Monks are in a position to often listen to the stories of their parishioners and followers, but there are few places where they can listen to the monks' concerns. That's why, as I mentioned at the beginning, I see a glimmer of hope in the fact that you consulted with Hasunoha.

Ensure your mental and physical stability, and on top of that, redesign your future life and life, and prepare the environment while slowly talking about it. In the midst of these steps, if you can say, “The Buddha's teachings that you were listening to in the lecture come to fruition as support for your own life,” I think your ability to live again will come back to life.

You're not alone. We, Hasunoha monks, have always been on your side. (Online consultation is also possible)

This is a major concern, and this choice is not irresponsible; it is a necessary choice to protect you.

Have you been able to talk to the chief priest or family about panic disorder?
Your colleague at work (you) is in trouble. At times like this, let's all think about how we can protect and continue to protect you and your work. It's not something you worry about alone.

Then, let's think separately from having a desire to meet expectations and having become ill. Work effortlessly while prioritizing approaches to recovery. It won't disappoint.

Please don't take the present as pressure and be kind to yourself.

Thank you for your question.
It seems like working at a temple is a source of stress.
Are you uneasy about working at a temple?
You don't have to do the same thing as your father.
Other temples often change their temple jobs.
I used to work at the main hall every morning at 6 o'clock, but I stopped after the chief priest changed.
I went to pray at each Ohigan and Obon house, but due to my chronic illness, I worked at the temple for a few days, so I changed it so I had a parishioner come to the temple.
There is no air conditioner in the main hall and it's hard, so they installed an air conditioner.
Seated properly is difficult, so I changed the seats of monks and parishioners to chairs.
I took on various executives, but since I was busy with side jobs, most of them declined.
Since I have a side job, I reduce the frequency of attending events such as denominations.
I can't drink alcohol, so even at social gatherings, I don't drink alcohol and attend oolong tea, and since I don't like the second party, I go home at the first party.
I think you can do it your own way.
If there is a group of young people at the temple, such as the Youth Association, I think they will all cooperate if you tell them about your medical condition or stress.
I think it would be a good idea to try gathering information on how other monks deal with temple work that makes you feel stressed.
That's because you don't have to be perfect like your father.
It would be nice if I could do the minimum for the parishioners.
Please ask any questions again.