I haven't been able to grow anything I want to commit suicide

I read it.
I've also read your previous questions. You think this world is crap, and you think suicide is the quickest way to get rid of your obsessions. I don't know the details about you or your life up until now, but it conveys what you think. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

Please, Buddha, save me, I sincerely ask you to guide me to the Buddha's Pure Paradise, and if you humble yourself even once with Namu Amida Buddha Namu Amidabutsu, you will surely pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise. So you don't have to do any hard training.

You're very sorry that you haven't been able to do anything until now, that you haven't been able to grow.
If you think so, why don't you try doing what you want or want to try little by little.
It can be about you, and I think it's fine for the people around you.

Until I was around 40, I only thought about myself, and I lived my life thinking only about profit and loss.
Recently, I've been working at a temple and working as a local civil affairs committee and children's committee, so I think I can help people a little bit, albeit just a trivial matter. Nevertheless, I feel grateful to have had such an opportunity, and I think I am growing little by little.

I think there's probably a lot you can do in the future.

Please try your best, and I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree

Good evening. I think what has been put into words up to this point is an activity where you are already “facing yourself.” It must not have been easy.
If I organize it in my own way, what is inside of you
① It must not stay this way
② but I can't move
③ I feel like Buddhism has some hints
④ But it looks like there's a state where I'm not sure.

And the strongest thing is probably the pain of “I want to change, but I can't.”
On top of that, there is one important point. There is a saying, “If you get rid of an obsession, suicide is probably the fastest,” but in Buddhism, “getting rid of an attachment” is not “erasing an object,” but changing the way you relate to things.

So it's not the direction of erasing yourself.
Rather, it seems that the question is not “how can I move,” but rather “what are you afraid of and can't move?”
The term “mental block,” which you wrote yourself, may also be related to that. What kind of failure are you afraid of? Go one step further and ask, “What does failure mean to you?” That's it.
Why don't you put this into a few more words?

He shared his honest feelings. The first thing I want to say is that the suffering you feel “it's no good anymore” is by no means just you, but it is a deep trouble that everyone touches in their lives.

You blame yourself for “not doing anything” and “it's empty,” but when you look at suffering in this way and put it into words, you have already taken an important step. There really is no such thing as an empty person. However, the comparison criteria are too strict, and I have lost sight of myself.

Also, when it comes to “enlightenment,” the Buddha's steps are special, and there is no need to apply it directly to yourself. Originally, Buddhism is also a teaching that has continued to question “what to do with an incapable self.” In particular, the Jodo Shinshu sect does not believe that “only those who can practice ascetic practices will be saved.” Rather, I will explain that we are the only ones who cannot live the way we want and who are still holding our weaknesses and doubts that we are being held as we are.

The question of whether it is a contradiction to stick to teaching while saying “get rid of your obsession” is also valid. But the fact is, people cannot completely let go of their obsessions on their own. That's why the way to encounter a job (Amida's original request) of knowing one's own limitations and accepting it as it is is is is explained. Nembutsu is not “something for obsession,” and it can also be said that it is “a voice that entrusts oneself to nothing.”

Also, regarding the idea that “suicide is probably the quickest,” in Buddhism, we accept that taking a break in life is not the end of suffering. This is because the very act we choose to escape suffering becomes an even deeper relationship of suffering. Above all, I want to cherish you, who are cornered enough to make that choice first.

You may feel “unchanging,” but people don't have to change dramatically. I managed to spend the whole day today, and that alone is meaningful enough. It's okay to have days when you can't move. The next one can only be born from not abandoning that self and admitting that “that kind of self is here too.”

Please don't decide “it's over already.” The scenery you see right now isn't everything. In the midst of suffering, you are also not abandoned. I don't want to give big answers right now; I just want you to survive today and cherish that.

Even if I live like this, I don't see any hope.
A mental block that doesn't work even when I try to do something.
It's an empty, empty situation, isn't it?
And I haven't made much effort.

Each way of life is different, so no matter how you live and what path you take, it's up to you. It's okay if there are people who rely on faith, and the Buddha doesn't influence human lives in any way even though they are among them. Life is varied. It's about people who listen to Buddhism express it in their own way of life.

The life you live on the edge of Buddhism is up to you.
It is said that you haven't made much effort, but what do you want to do, and what are your goals? What do we need to do that? Why don't we think about it together?