The choice to die

In the midst of my painful feelings, I can feel the depth of suffering that you have put into words up to this point.

The job hunting didn't go well, the path to college didn't go as expected, I'm sorry for my parents and those around me... It's no wonder that these things overlap and people feel that “there's no future left.” But is that “courage” really good for facing death?

In Buddhism, it is explained that suffering is born when people encounter a reality that does not turn out the way they want. This is called “suffering (suffering).” But at the same time, it is also taught that it is in this suffering that people notice what is really important.

Right now, I feel like you continue to blame your “self that didn't go well” and “yourself for not being able to meet expectations.” However, that evaluation is only a temporary result. The value of your existence will never be determined by that.

Your parents probably didn't raise you this far in search of perfect success. What I really hope for is the point of “I want them to be alive,” isn't it? The fact that they stay alive, even if it takes a detour or is clunky, is in itself my greatest wish.

You said, “I don't have the courage.” It's also proof that you definitely still have a desire to “still live.” Please don't deny that little voice.

I want them to have “the courage to live just a little longer,” not the courage to die. It doesn't matter if it's just one day today. Try deciding “I'm not going to draw a conclusion right now.”

Life doesn't go the way you imagine it. However, there are also countless times when an unexpected relationship opens up a completely different path.

Please don't hold it alone, and try to rely just a little bit on someone close to you or someone you can talk to. There is always someone who can accept your suffering.

You're not a failed person. I am a person who is in the midst of suffering right now. And that suffering is by no means yours alone.

Please don't rush to make the decision to end your life here. I'm sure there are relationships waiting for you in the future that you haven't seen yet. Gassho

In the Jodo sect, it is explained that anyone with Namu Amida Buddha and Nembutsu can pass away to the Pure Land of Paradise when they die.
So it doesn't matter when you die.
Also, if you can live in Nembutsu while living, it is thought that the merits of Nembutsu (good habits that make it easier to understand) will accumulate just that amount.
Therefore, even if you are unlucky enough to survive, if you do nembutsu every day, that merit will accumulate, so there is no problem even if you do live.
In other words, whether you die or live, no matter which way you fall, there's no need to worry about it.
Thank you for confiding in me that I'm in a difficult situation because things don't go the way I want due to the circumstances in my life.
I would like such people to learn the carefree paradise mentality of “there are no hardships in life or death, and if you are unlucky enough to live for a long time, merits will accumulate, and if you are lucky enough to die soon, it will be past life paradise.”
The method for that is “Namu Amida Buddha”
“Namu Ami Dabu Namu Ami Dabu Namu Ami Dabu”
It's about humming nembutsu at your favorite tempo and hoping and rejoicing that you can pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise with Amida's power.
Please, from now on,
Namu Amidabu Namu Amidabu
Please accrue merit.
If you accumulate merits, you will quickly attain enlightenment after being reincarnated in the Pure Land of Paradise, which means that you will attain Buddhism (become a Buddha) faster.
Also, doing good deeds other than nembutsu is a merit.
Note that when you're doing nembutsu, various delusional thoughts (past, future, yourself, and others) come to mind and disappear, but it's just a brain exercise, so don't worry too much about it.
Don't worry, even if you do nembutsu while you have delusional distractions, you won't let go of your own.

What Buddhism gives us is wisdom and mercy.

Feelings for parents
anxiety about the future
Comparison with surroundings

Could you please tell me what points hinder hope...

I've also been asked to read the questions up until now, but you're always anxious, aren't you?

What are your goals, goals, and future? When it comes to setbacks, I think it's too early. Because there are plenty of options for the future.

If something slightly unplanned happened from the future you envision (job hunting failure), why don't you draw a path while making corrections again? I'm sure no one is going according to plan their lives. Everyone is refining future designs according to the situation.
Why don't you, too, draw up your next choice?

Or is there a lot of pressure from those around them? Has the choice been decided (decided)?

What's happening to you? Why can't I go to school?
Why don't you think about each one without connecting the whole thing?
Even if it's Hasunoha, I want to think together and help.

I read it.
You think you've failed in your job hunting, and you've lost hope of living because you won't be able to go to graduate school, and you have no choice but to die. But you don't have the courage to die, do you? I don't know the details of you or anything up until now, but I really understand your painful feelings.
You probably think you've failed now, but life is a series of failures and mistakes. This is true in anyone's life. Even in a successful life, many failures and twists and turns are repeated behind it.
So you're definitely not alone. First of all, please take care of yourself. Please cherish your life up until now and your future, and your many relationships.
You have lived and will continue to be blessed with relationships with many people. You are being supported and protected by so many people.
Please don't despair and despair yourself.
I am praying from the bottom of my heart to Buddha, God, and your ancestors that you will live a rich and happy life in your future while being blessed with really important relationships for the future.
And I wholeheartedly support you. We wholeheartedly agree