I'm worried about my son's family, but I'm also worried about my own body

Thank you for contacting us.
I deeply understand the feeling that fluctuates between my deep love for my grandchildren and my mental and physical limitations. The desire to do something for someone else is a precious “mercy,” but helping to damage one's own health does not make anyone happy as a result.

Buddhism preaches “letting go of obsessions.” Underneath the worries that “the bride is not good at housework” or “my son will be sorry if I don't do it,” there may be an obsession that you want to feel safe about yourself or unconscious “interference.” When parents try their hand at it too much, it also leads to young couples building their own way of living through trial and error, and taking away valuable opportunities to grow as parents.

Parents can't take care of their children forever. True love is believing in their power and “watching” them. The time has come to listen to your own limitations, have a calm discussion with your son once, and draw a line of physical support.

Even if the bride's way of acting seems slow, it's in their own way. Please move forward towards such a relaxed figure where you value your own mind and body above all else, and pray with your heart without touching it.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

You're working hard for your kids and grandkids.
It might be a good idea to tell your wife about food delivery services such as Yoshikei. The menu is optional, so there's no need to worry, the main ingredients are delivered, and the cooking method is simple, so even people who don't like it can cook. I think the frequency with which Baba cooks will also decrease. I think that mother over there is also a burden. Try talking to your wife or son.
I hope your grandchildren grow up healthy.

There's no shortage of worries, right? But even if I worry about it, I can't make it what I think. Even so, the bride “doesn't seem to be good at it,” “she's really nervous,” and “my son is cooking meals”...

It's something that catches your eye in a lot of ways...

Not interfering is difficult, isn't it? That's why they ask for it, and in the end, they accept it.
If you can't do it, it can't be helped. We have no choice but to do what we can.
What you need is acceptance.

I knew I wasn't good at it, so I got married. Choosing to work together and raising children. Even if the school is far away, I still have a place to live there. I was aware of everything, so I will continue to think about it and do something about it.

Incidentally, my child took 1 hour each way to school, but they went to and from school, and since they worked together, they spent time at home alone while staying home alone. I didn't like school kids. Of course, there is no parental support. On the other hand, I've also taken care of my parents. Housework and childcare, work and nursing, studying at night... I wonder how I got this far, but I did what was right in front of me without looking for perfection. I think the kids were great too. I grew up watching my parents, so they helped me a lot since I was little. Everyone, I wonder if that's the case.

A balanced lifestyle continues throughout elementary school, middle school, entrance exams, high school, and university.
Even if you worry, there are limits to what you can do. Don't increase your stress yourself. The young couple and their children will be thinking about their lives together. Let's leave it up to you.

I read it.
You really want to take care of your children and grandchildren, don't you? However, taking care of you is also very difficult, and your physical strength is limited, isn't it? I can tell you that you are very worried. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
First of all, please take care of your own body. Be sure to tell your son and wife that you are physically limited. Also, please recommend that your sons receive various support.
If the bride is also having a very difficult time, why don't you contact the local government's child home center or child counseling center for consultation in order to rest your mind and body, and try using a respite care service where you can temporarily take care of your grandchildren? If possible, I think there are people who can take care of them temporarily at foster families close to the school district.
If my son takes care of his grandson and takes care of himself during that time, I think my wife will also be able to take a lot of time off from housework. Also, if you are receiving various support other than that, or if your wife has any concerns, please feel free to contact us here as well. Since we're human, everyone has limits, and so do you, your wife, and your son. In such a case, please be sure to receive support from close people and public support rather than distant relatives, and you and your wife can recover both mentally and physically.
I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can live a healthy and safe life with true peace of mind, that your grandchildren will be nurtured and grow healthily by many people, and that you can truly care for each other and live a happy life with compassion for each other. We wholeheartedly agree