It makes me think I made a mistake in my life choices

When you visit your parents' house or watch your parents grow old, along with loneliness, you only think about the things you couldn't give to your parents, and then lament. Sometimes this just doesn't come as expected. Filial piety strongly depicts getting married and letting them meet family and grandchildren, but there are actually a lot of filial piety.

What you wish to get your hands on will also change. Family, youth, health, money, and strength are not necessarily something you can rely on, even if you have children. If you support something you can't do anything about, you'll lose your way to live.

Rather than lamenting that you can't get your hands on it, why don't you look at a way of life where you are blessed with important relationships? There is also an unwavering thing, the Buddha who cares about the course of our lives and prays for it. Please reach out for that kind of support.

Thank you for your consultation.

Mei is now
I'm not just suffering from “not being able to have children,”

“The life I had imagined” and
I think they are struggling with a gap between “the reality that is right in front of us.”

The bustle of the head office, parents, grandchildren, and relatives.

Surely from an early age,
“Something that will one day be passed on to our generation”
So, wasn't there a part that I took for granted?

But life is
You'll notice that it doesn't necessarily take the shape you envision...

illness.
age.
encounter.
timing.

A person's life is
It is also greatly influenced by things that cannot be helped by one's own efforts alone.

So now, “what if I had made a different choice”
It makes you think...

But let me read Mei's sentences

Rather than a “person who made a mistake in life,”

“People whose values have changed drastically in the middle of their lives”
I felt that was it.

Having experienced an illness.
Seeing betrayal and the true nature of people.

from there,
“I want to value everyday happiness, not to be recognized by others”
I've come to think that.

That is,
It's not just a lost life,
Amidst suffering, I have been looking back at “the way of life itself”
I think it's life too.

Of course,
I don't think the loneliness I'm feeling right now will go away.

Even the suffering of not being able to have children
I'm sorry I wasn't able to show my grandchildren to my parents,
It may come up over and over again by accident.

However, only those values
I don't think it's the value of life.

People are “things that remain as forms” no matter what
It just makes me feel the meaning.

But actually, even if you can't see it
The kindness you gave someone.
Supported time.
Memories of laughing together.
A figure that survived despite suffering.

That kind of thing also lingers in others.

And one more thing.
Mei says “I don't have the confidence to be selected”
It was written.

However,
That doesn't mean “not worth it.”

People who have experienced illness or loneliness
It's not the same momentum as when you were young, and it's “someone you can really understand”
I will start searching for it.

While suffering, I overcame illness, and now like this,
“I want to live a life without regrets”
I think that is Mei's appeal in itself.

Thank you very much for your consultation.
You spoke carefully in the midst of your deep worries. I'm guessing how much of a burden you've been carrying alone until now, such as your parents' home, your feelings for your parents, and your own serious illness.

In Buddhism, we believe that all events in the world are made up of “relationships.” Getting married and having children is not something you can do with your own efforts and choices; it is the result of countless relationships. There is absolutely no need to blame yourself for “making a mistake in your life choices” after overcoming a serious illness and living so hard until today.

The sense of remorse for “not being able to leave a successor” is a state where kindness to oneself is slightly lacking. Instead of suffering from being caught up in the “what if” of the past, please look at the fact that there is a precious life here and now, and that you have rich experiences that you have dedicated yourself to your work and hobbies.

The meaning of life isn't just about leaving something behind. If you have a feeling that “you haven't given up on making a partner,” there are still plenty of possibilities open up for your future. By letting go of the hands that regret the past, taking care of yourself, and living the present moment with care, a new good relationship will naturally creep in. Please take care of yourself and walk at your own pace without being impatient.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
I read your concerns. I don't know the details about you or the people around you, but it really conveys your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
If you think you've made a mistake in your life, why don't you stop for a moment? What has happened up until now is definitely not a waste, and I can't say that it was a mistake. I think it's okay to carefully consider what and how you want to live from now on.
You've probably had various experiences up until now, so please think concretely about the life you want to aim for and make plans based on those experiences. I think you have a variety of options in front of you.
Let's calm down, take a close look at it, and open up your future while listening to opinions from various people.
I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree