What is a good way to have a good relationship with your family.

Apparently, there are many patterns in the world where people first list a goal (ideal), imagine a perfect state, make an effort to actually reach it, and then despair because it's impossible.
Moreover, ideals tend to be extreme, such as whether it's zero point or one hundred point, white or black, and if it's not perfect, it's useless, etc., and it seems like they are circling hopelessness.
According to the Buddhist point of view, when you are born, you have zero points. We've just started, so we haven't scored any points. How many points can you accumulate from there until you die? That's the way of looking at it.
It's not a 100-point perfect score, and you can build up as many points as you want without breaking.
Failed and conceded? Please reflect on it, forget it, and immediately push forward to the next goal.
Life isn't a game of going to hell about how many points are deducted from where it's supposed to be perfect; it's a point acquisition game about how hard you try to score points from zero point that has no value. I see it in Buddhism.
My wife is so beautiful, she does housework and work, and loves herself. If that's the case, thinking that I also have to work hard to get in balance is actually just competing. The wife is doing the work of her life. Let's do what we can from zero in our relationship with our wife. Giving thanks from the bottom of my heart, even just conveying it in words, gives tremendous strength to the other party.
I have a daughter who has just started her life. It's hard for her to live on her own, so I'll help her in many ways so she can grow. It's also good for myself.
If there are cats, well, until one of them dies, it's a family, and they live in an unfettered mutual aid relationship. It might be good for human families to keep a sense of distance from each other like a cat family.
Score with whatever scoring method you can. I appreciate my opponent's goals or their efforts to score points. They also have family relationships and love, so if they get scolded, you can let your emotions flow to the point of “yeah, I was told” and make a new effort from now on with “yes, well, I'll do my best.”
Feels like a basketball game? There are no goalkeepers, so even if you defend, you won't be able to defend anyway. All you have to do is switch between conceded goals and increase the number of points scored.
Elder Sumanasara is better at explaining the tips for living at home with Buddha's wisdom. Various books with the playful title “Life is a Game” have been posted on YouTube, etc., so please check that out as well.

Thank you very much for your consultation.
I understand that you are very tired because of the differences between childcare and everyday life that you are not used to. However, as there are words “gratitude” and “affection” in your worries, your warm feelings for your family are firmly at the root of yourself.

In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “contentment (knowledge).” It means “knowing enough.” The counselor is now living a precious life with his wife, cute child, and cat. However, by comparing the present with “the family around you” or “yourself who made a different choice,” it seems that you are making your own heart heavy and making it difficult to see the happiness that is supposed to be right in front of you.

Even married couples are originally different people, so it's natural for opinions to clash. You don't have to try to be a husband or father on a 100-point scale right from the start. First, look at the “things you're thankful for” that already exist in your current life, and try letting go of comparisons with others, that is, “contentment.”

It's natural that raising children doesn't go the way you want them to. It is probably because wives can't afford it in the same way that they complain. Try changing the time you spend thinking about a different world to words of compassion for the wife in front of you. Being aware of and accepting the happiness you have now should be a sure indicator for building a good relationship with your family.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
Even though you feel happy, your wife scolds you, and you're very worried that child-rearing and housework aren't going well. I don't know the details about you, your wife, or your children, but it really conveys your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
If you were living as a married couple, you might still have different opinions or things you can't do in your everyday life, and I think there are times when considering your feelings doesn't go well. Therefore, I think there are times when people inevitably feel sick or get into fights.
It's definitely not just about you; no matter where you are a married couple, they can get into big or small fights or get in a bad mood due to differences of opinion, differences in values, and lifestyle habits.
Please try talking to your wife about your feelings in moderation without accumulating too much in your own heart. Since we're human, we all have our own thoughts, so let's talk and share our thoughts with your wife in a peaceful manner.
As we spend time doing various things together, we will have a deep bond, and there will also be times when we feel that they are irreplaceable.
I sincerely pray that you will continue to take good care of your children while helping each other and sharing your thoughts with your wife, and that everyone will be able to help each other, get along well, and live through an irreplaceable life in good health.
And I wholeheartedly support you all. We wholeheartedly agree

You're doing your best even though you're unfamiliar with it. The hard work of a new dad is also admirable.

Your wife is the one who does everything flawlessly, isn't she? That's really helpful, and I'm thankful for that, but that doesn't mean my wife's method is the right answer either.

At home, the whole family creates comfort. Otherwise, you'll end up living a life tailored to someone else.

Now that a child has been born, my wife is working hard too. I want to support you, and I want to walk with you as a husband. That's why they worry about housework rules and marital relationships.

If your wife gets mad at you, say, “Maybe there's your way, but I think I'll do it together. So let me hear your methods and thoughts. Let's suggest, “I want to think about ways that two people can work on it.”

Don't just follow your wife's ways; you also stay positive and don't be afraid of failure. In this way, parents in every household build housework, childcare, and families that suit them. Cherish time for couples and families. And let's continue to respect each other.