Dealing with a guy who lost his wife

I read it.
I see... that's right... I don't know the details about you and that person, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
The wife who passed away is probably very important to that person and their family... so I think it would be pretty good to avoid it.
If it's painful for you to think that no matter what, I think it's better to keep your distance once.
If you ask about that person or that person's house, you will naturally remember that now, and as a result, your heart will probably be deeply hurt.
If so, I think it would be better for you and that person to leave now.
I'm not sure if that's really going to be a break up. Nonetheless, I think it's time to step away, calm down, live your life first, and then calm down and look back again.
I sincerely pray that you and that person will be able to live each and every day peacefully and happily through an irreplaceable and precious life.

I understand that you have had a very difficult day, tormented by jealousy towards your late wife and disgust for yourself who blames him.

It's not strange to be heartbroken by the fact that someone you love once deeply loved and lived with someone else. However, that strong feeling towards someone who has become a Buddha has become an “obsession” in Buddhism, binds your own heart, and makes you suffer. There is no need to blame yourself for “having a bad personality,” but as a result, our current state has deeply hurt and exhausted each other.

Relationships between men and women can only be nurtured by relationships where each other is respected and the mind is at ease. The past is an unchangeable fact for him, and cleaning up his portrait was probably his best consideration. However, even if he says “all people are alive,” if you can't accept that situation and don't have a sense of security in your heart, then overdoing it any more and continuing the relationship cannot be said to be a happy path for both of you.

If you can't let go of your own feelings, quietly taking your hands off here in order to protect each other's healthy hearts is also a great form of “mercy” for both parties. Please take care of your own heart first.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Well... if you think you can't do it anymore, I think it's difficult to accept each other.

Certainly, looking at pictures is hard. It's a happy picture of the guy you like from the past, and it shows the person he loved. I want you to understand that feeling.

However, I can't do anything about his past, and I can't refuse to stop if I don't like it. That's because it's the life he's walked through.

You can draw a path where you can understand and accept the other person's past and way of life and walk together.
Don't you know that even if he takes care not to be seen, you can't get rid of him?

That's how I fell in love with him.
If you think that's impossible and you don't like it anymore, then this love affair isn't going well, is it? Actually, they pushed him in, and they said they were already tired.

We're not doing each other's good. This is the reality right now.
If you're caught up in surpassing his widowed wife, you won't be able to love him.

Hello, Mr. Topincho. You've been in a relationship for 4 years, haven't you?
Did your current partner have any infidelity or negative points for you? Among you, I don't want to fail, and I don't want to get hurt anymore. I think there's a feeling like that. It's been going on for 4 years. Wouldn't they be a good match?
There was a complaint about Buddhist altar fittings,
Doesn't that seem like he's someone who cares about his partner?
If you can't cherish your past family, you probably won't be able to cherish your girlfriend (someone who has the potential to become a family member) either.
Conversely, even if my partner passes away, I may be able to entrust my life to someone who cares for me. Why don't you think so? The reason I feel dissatisfied or unable to put up with it is because it doesn't satisfy my level of satisfaction. He's already a great adult who also has children. If I really care for my partner, I want to overcome his remaining trauma and sorrow together, with compassion, if it's important. Why don't you feel like that?
By doing so, I think he'll be wrapped in so much trust and love that he wouldn't be able to live without you in him.
Topincho's feeling right now is love. Why don't you add love to that. Also, they don't like being able to see the cards and bones. Rather than holding a memorial service, why don't you put bones in the kitchen so they don't stick to your eyes, for example. If you don't like that physiologically, you have no choice but to break up, and under such circumstances, if you want to spend time with him as your next partner, I think everything will be fine if you first listen to a constructive story, not a negative story, about the future of the two of them, a story about being healed, or whatever, then everything will be fine. If you don't hold yourself strong enough, you won't be happy.
Please take your time and think about how important he is to Topincho by yourself.
If you don't want to lose him, you should walk slowly while facing the same direction and keeping your stride together instead of facing each other and pointing him out.
Also, the months and days always reduce problems like this. It will solve it for you. I was jealous back then; it would be nice if we could talk about it in a few years. I know it's going to be tough, but it's good to be honest with yourself, but since it's who you are with your partner, please take your time and move forward with love. I sincerely pray for Topincho's happiness.