they weren't friends... I think

Thank you very much for your consultation. It's probably because we've been in a relationship for about 15 years or more that it's been a deep sense of sadness that the relationship is falling apart.

In Buddhism, there is a term called “impermanent behavior (shogyomujo).” It's a teaching that everything in this world changes constantly and that it won't stay the same forever. The comfortable relationship I had when I was a student changed little by little as time passed and our environment changed.

It seems that you are now strongly “attached” to the word “friend” and past bonds. However, you and others are completely different people, and you can never change someone else's mind or behavior the way you want. The more you try to change your partner on SNS or phone calls, the more your own heart wears out, and your suffering only increases.

Buddhism believes that every relationship has a beginning and an end. Now is probably the time to accept that “this relationship ended its role here,” and gently walk away from the relationship. Letting go of the obsession to change your partner is the first step towards peace of mind. Please don't get caught up in the past and focus on the precious life of yourself that is right in front of you now.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
You've felt really bad about your relationship with that friend up until now. And the relationship got worse and worse, didn't it? I don't know the details about you and your friends, but I really understand your painful feelings.
Until now, I think that friend has said things that would make you feel bad. I think you've been hurt a lot by that person.
I don't know what kind of person that person is, but I think they've always said terrible things without thinking about your feelings. So I think that person is a bad match for you.
If it's a bad relationship for you, isn't it okay to break up with that person? If they accuse or slander you, I think it's okay to stop getting involved at all.
I think it would be preferable for you to try a relationship with someone you can feel safe with and care for each other.
I sincerely pray that you will be able to live peacefully every day with people you can have a really safe relationship with in the future, and people you can interact with while caring about each other. We wholeheartedly agree

What is a friend
Actually, I think it's a very vague word.

best friend.
bad friend.
hobby friend.
A one-sided relationship.
A relationship that is only for the moment.

If it's just words,
“friend”
There are so many of them in the world.

So I

“While respecting each other,
A “relationship where you can enjoy differences and the same things”
I'm wondering if they're friends.

Well then,
For Anshin-san,
What kind of relationships are “friends”?

What happened this time
I think it was really painful.

But human relationships
Actually, we can't stay in the same shape all the time.

Depending on the day,
Depending on the environment,
Depending on how much time you have in your mind,

There are times when it gets out of place little by little.

Sometimes,
The shape may also change suddenly.

That's why

“I want it back to the same way it was before”

If you think and force them to chase them,
There are times when it becomes difficult for both of us, right?

myself, too
With people who were important
I have kept my distance.

It's not that I don't like it anymore.

but
If you try to force yourself to get involved,
My heart is getting painful,
“I can't enjoy it anymore.”

So,
Anshin-san too

What if now
If we can't enjoy each other anymore,
Once,

“old friend”

As
Maybe it's okay to keep a quiet distance.

What is a relationship between people
It's a strange thing,
Who are people you really have a relationship with
Also, there are times when we are connected to nature.

It's sad right now.
But “this relationship ended = everything was a lie”
I don't think so.

So now, “until the day we meet again”

With about that feeling,
Maybe it's okay to take a break.

When I was in high school, we started talking from trivial occasions such as being in the same class, close seats... and we acted together and recognized them as friends. Even though they are compatible, there are times when we are forced to be “friends” when it is better to stay connected in order to spend our student life.

There are times when you feel comfortable in a relationship where you can say anything, and there are times when you feel comfortable saying (being said) what you want to say without hesitation, and there are times when your broken heart expands little by little.

Your relationships have been connected since you became adults, even on social media. You have things to say, and even though you're hurt, I've put up with it because I'm friends. But after all, if you get thrown out like this, or if they say bad things behind your back, you'll be pitiful not only this time, but also wondering what it has been until now. I wonder if they are people who still act like this even when they become adults, until they break up all of their relationships since high school.

I think it's frustrating. That would be unforgivable. I hate it, don't you?
But my opponent hasn't changed. That's because he's the person who watched you like this. There wasn't enough kindness or compassion there...

Let's choose an important relationship for ourselves. You won't get hurt anymore.
Each one chooses to live in a separate society.