I'm not motivated to work, I'm struggling

The fact that a nurse qualification has been obtained from a working person is not an ordinary thing in itself.
I learned while working, got a national qualification, and have been facing the field for 19 years. First, there's no need to look at that journey as a “life you couldn't do.”

People see someone superior to them and blame themselves.
However, Buddhism explains that suffering is caused by comparison with others.

I'm neither more nor less than me.

Some people are quick to remember.
There are also people who are good at socializing.
But you have the power to know your suffering.

People who know about suffering can be close to the feelings of weakened patients.
There is support that cannot be achieved by efficiency or procedures alone.

Also, if you think too strongly that “we must change” or “we must overcome,” your mind will become even more exhausted.
For 19 years, I think I've been pushing myself to “work harder.”

Buddhism is not a teaching about forcibly becoming a different person.
It's a teaching to “see who you are right now.”

There are days when I can't clean.
My studies are not progressing.
I'm afraid of people.
I'm nervous.
That, too, is my current state.

First, please adjourn the trial where “you can't do it yourself like this” against yourself for a while.

It doesn't matter if you try to change drastically.

I was able to sit at my desk for five minutes today.
One piece of trash was thrown away.
I was able to return a word to the patient with a smile.
That's enough.

In Zen, there is an ascetic practice called “just meditating (meditating),” and there is an ascetic practice of simply sitting.
I'm not in a hurry to get results, I'm not asking for evaluations, and I'm going back here right now.

What you need right now may be to heal your exhausted self little by little.

And if the nursing field itself doesn't fit, that's not a defeat either.
There are many forms of work that support people.

Please don't just look at “myself who couldn't continue.”
Even though I quit for 19 years, I haven't given up on living, and I'm certainly there.

When people are in pain, they think they are worthless.
However, Buddhism also explains that the more people know about suffering, the closer they are to deep mercy.

Don't be impatient.
Don't compare.
First, relax a bit from continuing to blame yourself.

That's enough from there.

Thank you very much for your consultation. I sincerely respect the fact that you have worked so hard to face your life as a nurse for 19 years. You are deeply blaming yourself for “repeatedly leaving your job early,” but please never despise yourself. The reason I was able to spend 19 years in a tough medical field is because you definitely have certain abilities and deep kindness.

In Buddhism, there is the term “Tenjo Tenge Yuigadokuson (Tenjo Tenge Yuigadokuson).” This is the teaching that “no one can be compared to others and is irreplaceable and precious.” There is no need to compare yourself with others and measure your “incapable self” only by yardsticks such as speed of treatment or memory. Nursing is not only about quickly carrying out medical treatment, but also the attitude of gently snuggling up to patients with anxiety has essential value. Your delicate heart, which knows pain, must have saved many patients until now.

My heart is so exhausted right now that I can't get around on my days off. Instead of forcibly inspiring them to say “we must overcome difficulties,” please take care of your hurt self gently first. The Buddhist teachings and meditations that are already being worked on are wonderful practices. Let go of past regrets and fears about the future through meditation, and quietly face your own heart “here and now.”

If you can let go of comparisons with others and acknowledge yourself as you are, you will naturally have peace of mind, and your original confidence and motivation for work will develop little by little. Please don't be impatient and cherish your time to realize your own worth.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
You've been changing jobs over and over again until now because you haven't been able to keep up with your work for a long time because you haven't been able to remember it. You don't have that much confidence in yourself, and you're worried about what to do. I don't know the details about you or your surroundings, but I really understand your painful feelings.
Specifically, I don't know how you worked or where you worked, but I can tell you that you feel very uneasy.
If you don't mind, please include details to the extent possible. Please speak slowly about your feelings, various concerns, and concerns.
I think you'll be able to share your thoughts with us as you talk about what you think.
Also, I think it's okay to talk about what you feel with people you can trust or people at the labor consultation desk and receive various advice and support.
You will be able to tell me how to overcome your thoughts and worries while talking to others, and you may be able to change your thoughts and perspectives in various ways.
Let's get support from many people.
I sincerely pray that you can live every day with peace of mind while being connected to many people in the future, and that you can find a job that suits you and live a fulfilling life.
And I wholeheartedly support you. We wholeheartedly agree

I also read my profile. You've been working hard to obtain a national qualification. I think the fact that people respond sensitively to the words and attitudes of those around them also probably comes from past experiences. Maybe it's easier to be swallowed up by painful and sad feelings because you've been hurt.

However, I think they are people who know that much pain and can be twice as close to others. If you find an environment where you can work at your own pace, I think you too can grow.

Nurses also worked at the kindergarten and preschool where I worked. They were responsible for managing their health while spending time with the children on a daily basis. Also, nursing that is close to the lives of patients visiting community health or home visits, such as home-visit nursing, may be suitable for you. Routine work involving health management and preventive care at companies and health checkup centers may also suit your pace.

Even if you don't compare yourself to others, people around you are doing their best. Everyone is finding their own pace while also making mistakes. I'm with you. First, let's work on it little by little, starting with a careful lifestyle around us. And please come to Hasunoha for a day off.