I want you to let me die

Very nice of you to consult with me. I also read past consultations. I want to take good care of the fact that they have managed to continue living until today, even though it was difficult.

I can't easily say “I understand” the pain of Imo-san. This is because they have been cornered to the point where they write “I want them to die.” But I'm not saying “it's OK to die.” This is because even Imo-san doesn't notice “add!!” That's because I'm sensing it.

Imo-san wrote, “I'm a mean person who just gets by on the spot,” “I wasted all the trust, expectations, and cooperation of others,” and “I only cause trouble to others and society even when I'm alive.” In the first place, what Imo-san thinks is her “true self”? That's just one part of Imo-san.

Buddha, the founder of Buddhism, thought there was something called an immutable self in the first place, and taught me “nothing” (= what you assume is yourself is a temporary form, there is no need to be bound by it) and “immutable” (= if relationships change, you can get an opportunity to change the current situation no matter how difficult it is) in order to lead you suffering from an imaginary image of yourself that you have imagined without permission. Now, I can guess that Imo-san is concentrating her consciousness only on negative aspects of herself due to comparisons with her surroundings, etc., and is feeling even more painful. What you think “I want to die” isn't the whole potato, but isn't it a “wave of thought” experienced by overlapping various painful situations such as illness?

In order to overcome such waves of thought, I would like you to do a method every day. ① “Take 3 slow, deep breaths” (= oxygen that tries to keep you alive is fully taken in), ② “put both hands on your chest and feel your heart beat” (= notice the fact that every organ in your body continues to move 24 hours to keep you alive), ③ “open the curtains and look at the sun” (remember the past, which has been supported by great natural activities beyond imagination), ④ “reread aloud what was answered to Imo-san's consultation” (= By rereading it, the connection with the monk is remembered, and Imo-san is encouraged by her own voice) Please start with one that is easy to do. Also, I went back to the hospital.

Even now, there are many things Imo-san can do. Why don't you start your second life again? Online consultations are also available. All the Hasunoha monks are also cheering.

Looking at the details of your past consultations, it seems that no matter how sincerely the monks answered, everything has been overlooked.
Therefore, I would like to give you some realistic advice from a slightly different angle.
Your current research activities and job hunting don't seem to suit the person you are at all.
This is probably clear from the fact that it can only be continued while going to a psychiatrist and taking medicine, and that I was stopped by my parents thinking about suicide.
I don't think things will improve in the future.
You probably entered a fairly well-known university and went on to graduate school.
Why don't you praise yourself, saying “I've worked so hard until now,” and live a different life 180 degrees different from now on.
Your parents also probably want you to live a healthy and happy life more than force you to get a job at a top company.
It's tough, but nobody expects you as much as you think.
You don't have to live to meet anyone's expectations either.
Live only for yourself.
If you're still in your 20s, from my point of view, it seems like a mass of all kinds of possibilities.
People like you actually did various part-time jobs when they were students and should have learned that there are various jobs, ways of life, and values in the world, but they probably weren't able to do it because they were busy with their studies.
Be sure to try it out from now on.

I read it.
You're having a hard time because everything isn't going well and you're feeling very stuck, and if there's no point in living, you want to die already. I don't know the details about you, but I can tell you that you have been very driven. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
You've probably been very driven because your research and employment aren't going well. I feel like I can also understand the feeling that makes you want to die. But your life has just begun. Your life is never going downhill or ending. Your life will unfold from now on, even if you don't know it now.
First, please relax and rest yourself. Things don't go well when your mind and body are tired. Please rest well, heal yourself, and recover. Also, please face the future firmly without being in a hurry.
Even if your research doesn't go well now, or if your employment doesn't go well, your life doesn't end; life has twists and turns, trial and error, and setbacks; there's no life without it.
Your life is so valuable and irreplaceable.
I sincerely pray that you will first recover well and be healed both mentally and physically, that your future will expand greatly from now on, and that you can live every day to the fullest.
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Have you looked at the world to the point where you thought it was okay to end your life?
Under various circumstances and circumstances, even when the world changes drastically, people hold on to that reality and live by facing the situation in front of them. There are probably only a handful of people who are living peacefully and safely.

What about you. I judge my life by looking only at my home, school, and my grades and job offer results. they said it was already over.
I've been able to live this far, even on a makeshift basis. Even though it was sweet, I walked on my feet.

It just causes trouble to others and society... it's not up to me to decide that.
If you abandon yourself, then you won't want to live.

I've only seen a small, narrow world yet, so I think it would be a waste. There are plenty of hints for living in the world. I'm not even aware of where I live.

There have been a lot of answers to your questions up until now. The monk, whom I had never met, thought of you and sent you a cheer. Me too.

Didn't you feel anything? Your heart wasn't shaken at all?
If that's the case, I want them to concentrate fully on treatment. Please tell your doctor about your symptoms properly.
Then, let's be able to move our hearts by this kind of connection with someone. Everyone does that, and stores the energy to live in it.

Me too. The world I've lived in is too small. That's why I feel powerless and ashamed, and I still don't study enough. Also, my connections with people who give me power I don't have are encouraging, and I am grateful that I have been supported so much by the love directed at me. I think that is the meaning and value of living.

You have no choice but to ask yourself if it's okay to die, but dying isn't an issue, and you probably want to break away from who you are now.

Let's take a closer look at the outside world from the perspective of not being able to live in the current situation. Then they look for the next option. There are an infinite number of ways to live. Let's become “me,” not just school grades and industry evaluations.

It's also a good idea to let go of the present and steer to another world. Decisions are the next start. This is the beginning of something new. Let's acknowledge my hard work and steps up to this point.