My parents are toxic and I've been putting up with it since I was a child

What will happen in the next world after ending this life depends only on the actions of the individual at the time of death. The next life is thought to occur almost instantaneously. Depending on the view that a fixed period of time is left, it is thought that it will be decided that it will occur as the next life after 49 days at the latest.
Therefore, it is not affected by which tomb they will be buried in after death.
Conversely, it is possible that current feelings and actions, such as not wanting to enter a specific tomb after death, will affect the shape of life in the next world.
Shakyamuni's teaching says, “In this world, envy is never stopped by envy. Give up your envy and stop for the first time. There is a famous phrase that says “This is an eternal and immutable truth” (Dhammapada 5).
Envy refers to the anguish of wanting to settle the harm or difficulties you have suffered so that it suits your own convenience.
A long time ago, the latter wife, who miscarried a child due to harassment by her former wife, ate all the eggs born of her first wife, who was born to a cat and replaced by a chicken due to her envy, ate and killed a cat that was born to a deer instead of being born as a panther, a deer that left envy was born as a man-eating devil and ate to death a panther that was born to a human... the chain where anger evokes envy never stopped, and it was finally stopped by Shaku Son's teachings It's running.
As I mentioned at the beginning, your next life will not be affected by what grave you are buried in after death.
Rather, I think it can be said that the impact of not entering a specific grave without knowing it is mistaken as something has been settled is greater.

Remains are just objects, just like hair and nails.
Think of it as one of my relics.
On the other hand, Buddha explained that after the death of a great person such as the Buddha (leader who attained enlightenment) or a splendid king, if they built a stupa (sutsuba) in the place where their remains were stored and worshiped, the hearts of those who worshiped them would be pure.
This is not because the remains have mysterious powers or that the spirits of the dead dwell in them.
When we worship the tower where the remains are stored, we think of the admirable character of the person we are worshiping and imagine that we would like to respect or learn from them.
Such awareness is probably a type of ascetic practice that clears the mind.
Even Muunbutsu is treated and worshipped as a “Buddha” in Japan, so the remains of Muunbutsu will also be vaguely worshipped as a Buddha in the same group as “great people to learn,” and it will clear people's minds.
Either way, it's a problem on the part of people (survivors) who worship remains, towers, tombstones, and plaques.
The person who died is living as a new life in a new place due to reincarnation, so there is no disadvantage no matter how the remains of a previous life are treated.
However, if a relative from a previous life prays for your happiness and performs ascetic practices (memorial services are also a type of ascetic practice), there may be an advantage that those merits (effects of ascetic practice) will be turned back to you, that is, the good effects will be gently shared among you, and your enlightenment (attainment of Buddhism) will be faster.
So, don't worry, the remains are just one of the relics, and there are no disadvantages no matter which grave you put them in (the same as hair not hurting even if it goes in the trash can).
Of course, there are no disadvantages even if it's the same grave as a relative you don't like.
Note that anger and hatred are evil spirits, and contrary to ascetic practice, they may cause bad karma (effects that interfere with enlightenment), so it is better to stop delusional disappointment involving anger or hatred in as short a time as possible. (Reducing anger makes it easier to realize.)

I was also asked to read my profile. You've gone through a lot of trouble, haven't you? Your parents probably hate it. You probably don't want to be together even after you die, and you can't think of being together forever at the grave, right?

First of all, graves aren't that kind of place, and they haven't been together for a long time. Unrelated is a state where there is no one to ask for later. Therefore, even if you are separated from your parents, you can feel safe by entrusting it to someone (monk) you can trust.

Until now, I haven't been very blessed by the people around me. I think it was a way of life where I couldn't find someone I could forgive or a safe place to live.
There must have been times when you felt lonely and empty.

It's really hard being alive to the point where my desire to commit suicide is constant. It's painful to live like that, isn't it? You've been able to overcome the fear of not having allies up to this point all by yourself, haven't you?

Let's connect with Hasunoha. Don't let it end up unrelated. Everyone is on your side here. Please talk to your parents about the future. Let's think about it together.

I read it.
I was able to read your feelings. I think you've had a really hard time up until now. I don't know the details about you or your parents, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know the details of how and with what kind of thoughts you have lived until now, but if you think that way, I think it's fine to be separate from your parents.
It may be quite difficult, but I think it's okay to speak firmly about your feelings and intentions to your parents, family, and relatives.
You won't suffer. I hope you can be freed from that kind of suffering. Buddha, gods, and ancestors will save you from suffering.
So please choose a method or place where you feel safe.
I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can live with peace of mind for the future, and that you can be saved from suffering and feel truly at ease even after you have given the full ten-life you have been given. We wholeheartedly agree