How to overcome suffering and feelings of inferiority

There is a feeling that my chest is being tightened when talking to people, my breathing becomes shallow, and I get tired.

I thought everyone had similar pain when it came to communication and social interaction.
However, apparently, I recently learned that there are many people who feel that talking to people they are on good terms with makes it easier and more enjoyable. Also, I thought that believing in people, becoming good friends, and being able to build a wide variety of relationships with people was made up of a lot of pain, but that also seems to be different.

Since I was a child, I have felt the pain of building relationships when talking to people, so everyone works hard to talk in the same difficult circumstances. I thought it was made up of a lot of ingenuity, such as making some kind of constant effort and being able to successfully overcome suffering by standing in the other person's position.

I've lived under such thoughts, so I have a terrible sense of inferiority towards myself that I can't do my best, my self that I can't produce results, and my lonely self.

How should we continue to deal with this way of feeling pain about communication, and the sense of inferiority created by it?

4 Zen Responses

Thank you Maru-sama for your consultation.

At my temple, nursing school students come to practice nursing to learn the view of life and death, and there are many people who find it difficult to communicate. It's not strange if you're not good at it or feel inferior.
Perhaps what makes you feel pain or an inferiority complex about communication
This is probably because they think of others as people they don't like, people who criticize them, and people who feel afraid. This is mostly due to the childhood home environment, etc., and is sometimes called an attachment system. It is said that this is because the brain responds in such a way that it feels threatened by others and causes an escape or freeze response.
And this is not your fault, and you are not responsible. You're not bad. First, repeat what you think isn't bad about you.
Also, practicing calming and calming one's mind is a way to change this sense of weakness and threat. By practicing calming your mind and showing compassion for yourself by calming your mind and making yourself calm so that anyone can ride a bicycle well if they practice, your sense of pain will decrease, and you will not feel inferior.
The first step is to repeatedly breathe in a relaxed, slow, and comfortable rhythm. Even a small amount of free time is fine, so please try it out.
Also, it is effective to imagine someone you can trust and meditate on “If that person were you, what kind words and words of encouragement would they give you.” We can give advice on breathing exercises, meditation, etc. via email, etc., so please use it if you like.
Also, it's a good idea to imagine being able to change the voice of criticism of yourself within yourself, which makes you feel inferior, to a gentle voice of encouragement and advice that is gentle and calm. You will surely be able to reduce pain and appease your sense of inferiority, so please be considerate of yourself and be sure. One bow

Thank you for your question.
From a sentence point of view, don't you think your head is spinning fast and your imagination is rich?
But I also felt like I was thinking a little too much for that.
I think thinking that you have to build a relationship, you have to be good friends, you have to work hard, and you have to get results is an obstacle to conversation.
I think it would be better if the conversation was more natural.
I don't think you need to think about it.
You don't think about this and that when you say good morning in the morning, do you?
It's important to be interested in the other person.
Take an interest in the other person, such as what kind of person they are, what kind of goals and dreams they have, and what their hobbies are.
If you're interested in the other person, words will come out naturally.

The reality is ♪ that's different ♪ well, that's right. ♪

Freedom from “suffering” and “feelings of inferiority”
Pain is the mentality of misalignment that occurs when one encounters actual reality because one's own settings take precedence. The theme song is “No, That's Not Right” by Masayuki Suzuki.
It's painful because unwanted things happen.
I'm so disappointed and sorry if the monks that answered were so boring, or if I got such a bunch of answers. Hasunoha is probably Meng Haoran (✋).
An inferiority complex is a mentality full of alienation and a sense of alienation away where you are different and inferior compared to those people. Whoa, what are these guys. Am I the only one different? It's floating. It's a hub 🐍 is it just me? It's a stupid ⤵ mentality. Even when Gevara was caught by America, Guevara's idea was completely different from the American side's point of view. You communist! It's a mentality where you feel “like” and “like” and “like” that only you are different and isolated. It must have been an inexhaustible away feeling.
So what should we do?
Both of them stepped on the Buddha's effector pedal that comes out of BOSS called Tenjo Tenka Yuiga Dokuson and said, “👹 I am absolutely nowhere else in heaven or earth!” Keep in mind, “It's impossible that the events that come out today will never happen again other than this time today!!!” I'm reminded of that. Then, the screening of the selfish delusional theater, which begins in the name of subjectivity, assumption, and anxiety, was once forcibly terminated. You'll only be able to touch reality in real time.
Then, for the first time, the actress (me) on my image side is not the lead actor, and the princess from the factual side starts singing.
“👠 that's wrong, that's not right.” Facts sing the truth and blow away delusions.
It's heartbreaking when you don't do it or tell lies according to your partner.
It's painful because I have a strong sense of anticipation.
Actually, that's not the case ♪, but my inner sense of defense is too strong, so I became Bomberman. 💣
My predictions always don't come true every time, but my voice is loud. They only have loud voices, guys. (Delusions)
Therefore, both the studio in the brain and the initiative are taken over, and a gap occurs. Even on Japanese television, K countries recommend terrestrial broadcasts, and K countries are recommended everywhere. Where is Japan?
Your brain also becomes a biased brain broadcasting station that puts subjectivity first if the initiative is taken over by delusional people, hypothetical people, and kit coordinator people.
Salvation: Put facts first, keeping in mind that the truth is absolutely different from what I thought.

Communication is communication to get to know the other person.

I see. If that's the case, even when I talked to people, I probably never felt that it was fun, happy, interesting, or that I wanted to talk about it again. If it's someone you feel comfortable with, your heart will be excited to talk more.

You probably just haven't met anyone like that yet. Loneliness may also make you feel an inferiority complex in how happy people around you seem to be or how you are fulfilling things you can't do yourself.
The stress you feel when talking to people is that you receive a lot of information, such as reactions from those around you, and it may be easy to feel tired.

It's fine. You should slowly build a relationship. Speaking isn't the only way to communicate. First, let's memorize names, smile, and nod back even if we're just concerned about what the other person is saying. Why don't you get used to communicating while doing that?

I'm sure you'll meet someone who will be happy to accept you. Communication is communication to get to know the other person. There must be people who want to get to know you and be friends with. I hope to meet lots of people who can make me smile.

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