About the courage to die

The suffering you have endured alone up to this point has been fully conveyed from the sentences.

It's not going well at work or at home. Even if I talk to them, they won't accept it. I see nothing but failure, and I keep blaming myself. If that state continues for a long time, it's no wonder they think “I want to end it already.”

I just want to tell you one thing.

You wrote, “My body seems to want to live even though I'm a person who should die,” but I think the opposite is true.

The reason why your body feels sluggish and you can't take a step forward right now is not because you are weak, but because you still have strength within you that you are trying to live.

What you need now is not a “way to take another step forward,” but a “way to not take it alone any more,” isn't it?

If you are in such a dangerous state that you are about to die many times now, please don't continue to endure it alone. It doesn't matter if it's a medical institution close to you, a consultation desk, or someone you can trust. Now is not a “time to work hard,” but a “time to borrow support.”

I would like to ask you about your painful feelings almost to death on the following site.
https://bouzsanga.org/
Please feel free to contact us. Hasunoha can only reply once, but this site provides continuous support through back-and-forth letters.

There is a difference between a lot of failures and the value of living.

If you're tired of thinking, it's enough just to “finish today.”

I think the fact that you wrote your consultation here and now is proof that you still have the power to ask for help. Gassho

In the human world, I think there are a lot of people who suffer when they unconditionally listen to the strange rules of humans. A group of people who are bound by that person's strange rules and think they have to conform to them makes me feel rather uncool.
Entering a school with a high standard score is a status or something. First of all, there aren't many good people. They are deliberate and their parents are people who think wily, and in order to win, or to gain an advantage, they just want to be in a safe zone.
I hate monks rather than because I was in the monk industry. I've probably felt the same way as you over and over again, and since I set out to try not to be steeped in the weird rules of the world, it's still weird; this is weird, I've been able to open up a free point of view like a Japanese person. I have no intention of Japan being weird, but this is a bit strange in the world, isn't it? I've become really sensitive to things like that.

I think you also have the power to notice such things.
It is important for people to have the courage to face their own weaknesses.
Everyone in the world is actually weak.
Because I need support even when I'm born. Like a facility for the elderly even if they live a long time. I can't cook my own meals, so I can't use the toilet or bath. Ah, humans are so weak. lol
Take a break. ☕
Please forgive the people of the world, smart people, and people who aren't smart, and yourself. It's good if we connect through weakness.
You're no good either; I think you're weak by thinking about yourself somehow. It's just a strange way of looking at it, saying it's too weak. When your heart weakens, the prickly things in the world hurt, don't you think?

But that's fine. Do you know the true identity of people who are booming in the world, recent crimes, or people taking mounts? I'm just trying to gain an advantage by bullying even weaker people because I'm weak.
So, those people are also liars who pretend to be strong, so it's okay to be fooled by the liar's lies and don't think that you're bad. Even if everyone just exists, they can quickly become someone somewhere happy, kind, reassuring, grateful, and thankful for being alive. Thanks for taking the time to read my story.
Don't think of yourself as Gomi scum, and turn trash into Gomi's merit. I want them to turn their trash into medicine and feel confident.

I read it.
You feel that there are a lot of things that don't go well or can't go well in your daily life, so you're talking to the people around you. However, it wasn't easy to get in touch with them, and they were exhausted. Even if you look at information on the internet, you see that it's better not to have people with disabilities, and you think it would be better to die. But they don't have the courage to die, do they? I don't know the details about you or the people around you, but I understand your painful feelings from the bottom of my heart.
You probably think you should die, but I think your body is trying to live well.
You have been given many relationships until now and will be able to live with lots of lives.
You are a very precious and precious life. Things may not always go the way you want them to, but first of all, please take care of yourself. I'm sure the people around you really care about you will remain the same.
You have the right to live regardless of whether you have a disability, or whether you have an illness.
Please share your painful feelings here too, and please share them with us and many others here.
We look forward to welcoming you. We wholeheartedly agree

Even if you decide to die, it's scary, isn't it? The problem is a world where you worry that you have no choice but to die. Every person has great value. Even if you stumble at work, if you have expectations and hopes for your future life, your feelings may be different again. In other words, it depends on the situation. To that end, why don't you keep your heart safe from information and connections rather than risking your own life?

I feel like my thoughts narrow down when I'm alone, and some opinions on the internet are written as much as I like. It hurts me because of that. Why don't you join in with your side?

An online whereabouts meeting will be held tomorrow 6/4. It's free. Information is also posted in Hasunoha's tweets. Why don't you connect and talk to someone?