I don't know if I want to go out with you or if I like you

Hello. I'm a female in my first year of college.
I'd like to talk to you about a boy I was good friends with when I was in high school.
I am aware that they got along quite well together, such as going back home together and watching games alone during sports competitions.
We both finished college entrance exams, and it became quite a long distance. So the two of us only went out to play once before enrolling. However, there was no particular confession at the time.
From my point of view, I feel that they value me quite a bit when we meet.
He gave me a lot of support in terms of club activities and study. I think it's thanks to him that I am what I am today.
Right now, we're connected to the extent that we use LINE from time to time. However, as has been the case since high school, he almost never gives me LINE. I'm also not good at continuing laid-back chat, so I only use LINE once in a while.
Right now, his older sister is in my college club activity. I was able to get along well with my older sister there.
He and I are now in swimming clubs at our respective universities. We will meet at the next junior tournament, and I think there will also be opportunities to get involved in club activities.

I asked my friend, “Do you like it?” When asked, it says “hmm.” I don't really understand when they ask if I want to go out with them.
Sometimes I want to talk and use LINE, but it's not really fun because I feel like I have nowhere to grasp it.
I don't really understand “what I like.”
However, there is hope that if we are going to be in a relationship, I want him to tell me about it.

What is this relationship? Do I love him as a love interest?
What does he think of me?

I'm sorry for the misleading sentence.
Could you please take the time to discuss it?

4 Zen Responses

Why don't you try warming up your relationship as an “important friend” without being impatient and giving an answer

Thank you very much for your consultation. I can't see your own heart clearly, and I understand how confused you feel.

There is a word “relationship” in Buddhism. I have had a good relationship with him that has supported each other since high school, and even now that we are separated, we have maintained a strange connection through club activities and my older sister. That is very precious.

Right now, you may be trying to forcibly apply your own heart or the relationship between the two of you to the framework of the words “like” and “go out with each other.” Now that you're a college student, you probably unknowingly feel impatient that “it's better to have a lover.” However, the feeling that “LINE isn't very fun” is the honest answer right now.

Minds don't have to force themselves to add black and white. Even if it's not a flaming romantic feeling, there is certainly deep appreciation and goodwill as a human being.

Why don't you get impatient right now and try warming up your relationship as an “important friend.” Just as the seasons turn and the fruit ripens, the relationship between the two of you will naturally be shaped over time, as well as your own true feelings. Please enjoy your college life to the fullest right now.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

He's my friend, my good friend, and I'm interested in him. Love is timing

He's my friend, my good friend, and I'm interested in him. They've spent time and played together, so they're definitely my favorite friends. However, this kind of friendship is common.

When you fall in love with them as a romantic partner, not only is it fun, but it's also exciting to imagine a date, talk, or use LINE.

Also, even if you are waiting for a confession from a man, it may not progress forever. If you have feelings for him or if you want to meet him, it's important to confess it yourself.

We are both college students. He has a friendship with him. While you are waiting for your confession, a child with a close relationship with him may approach you and end up with a lover.

Love is about timing, isn't it?

Please face it without being in a hurry

I read it.
I see... I read your question. I don't know the details about you or that person, but I feel like I understand your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
Probably... just like you think so, maybe that person thinks so too.
They are probably busy with club activities and studying every day, so there may be various things they have to do. Maybe I honestly don't know how I feel under such circumstances... I'm sure you are too.
I'm sure we'll meet and interact in the future. Under such circumstances, you and that person should slowly try getting along with each other and have communication. Please don't be in a hurry and face it carefully.
I sincerely pray that you will be able to continue to live a fulfilling day with that person and many others, being considerate of each other, and that everyone will be able to live a healthy life.
And I wholeheartedly support you and that person.

Thank you very much for your consultation.

What I felt when I was reading the sentence was that the state of your own feelings for him probably hasn't clearly taken shape yet.

When they were in high school, they went home together, supported each other for entrance exams, and the two of us went out to play before going to college. He was probably more than just a classmate to you. There is also gratitude for being supported in terms of club activities and studies, and there is a feeling that “I am where I am now thanks to him,” “he is important,” and “I don't want to lose it.”

On the other hand, it seems that even I'm still unsure about the feeling of “wanting to be a lover.”

However, there is one thing I can say. It means that your heart is directed at him to the extent that you think “is it a romantic feeling” about him.

There is no single absolute beginning to a relationship.

There are as many love relationships as there are people. There are loves that begin when you are strongly attracted to them from the beginning, and there are also those that begin with the feeling that you feel calm and secure when you are together.

There are times when someone you thought you didn't like at first becomes a special person when you notice it, and conversely, feelings for someone you thought you loved suddenly cool down one day.

The human mind is inherently ambiguous. Also, love is something that is built on that ambiguous movement of mind.

So now, I don't think it's necessary to rush to answer “do you like it” or “don't you like it?”

Buddhism explains that the human mind is constantly changing.

Even though the present is still vague, there are times when feelings deepen over time, and on the contrary, there are times when we naturally drift away.

However, I think the important thing is not to keep thinking about answers, but to act.

If you're concerned about him, maybe it's okay to increase the opportunities to talk and spend time together just a little bit more than now while valuing relationships such as tournaments and club activities.

There is also a feeling that I can see it for the first time in that time.

Also, if he finds someone he likes in the future, or if he goes far away, try to cherish the relationship you have now so that you don't think “I should have talked more.”

The answer to whether you like it or not isn't something you think up with your head; I think it's something your heart will naturally tell you one day during the time you spend with people.

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