How to deal with people who complain that they aren't feeling well

We provide consultation support for people with disabilities.
There are words that I am in trouble because they are said while listening to a story.

In the case of a complaint such as “I want to die” from a person with a mental disorder, it is taken as the opposite of the phrase “I want you to help because it's painful enough to die,” so if you accept, empathize, and listen attentively, it will resolve naturally.
Sometimes I keep listening for about half a day, but it's a problem that time can solve
So I think the level of difficulty is low.

The problem is when there is a consultation where there is no solution to a physical disability or illness.
Even if they talk about “my disability is getting worse and worse” or “my physical condition is getting worse day by day,” they say, “It's painful, isn't it?” or “Why don't you go outside to change your mind?” I can only make plain voices like that.
Sometimes, “Did I do something wrong?” There are also people who talk about causal things like that.
We know that the disease or disability will gradually progress and become a difficult situation, but it is not a problem that can be solved by taking medication or treatment.
However, it doesn't mean that it has a big impact on lifespan, so it's a cruel state where we know that painful and difficult times will be prolonged.

If this is a terminal person, “What do you want to do now?” It's probably going to be called out like that, but it's not like they're about to run out of life either.

If there is a consultation from someone who is clear that there are fewer and fewer things they can do or that their physical condition is getting worse, what kind of call should I call out to them?

Also, there are people who take this kind of condition as if it were a causal relationship, but what kind of care do monks take?

Is connecting to someone doing Vihara activities an appropriate response?

4 Zen Responses

Aren't you being too serious?

Fool has been involved in welfare for people with disabilities for many years, and also experienced nursing for his parents for about 10 years.

After that, both parents were admitted to the facility, and they saw off one after another in the year before last.

The osteopathic clinic also deals with many patients every day.

So I thought I was used to this kind of thing.

However, when it comes to caring for one's own parents, it's useless.

Feelings take the lead.

“Why don't you understand”

“Please be firm”

It makes me think so.

Professionals and families are different.

I am

What is the difference between professionals and amateurs

Whether objectivity can be maintained

I think so.

You try to be close to users so much,

I feel like I'm empathizing too much.

There are limits to what we can do.

Curing a disease is also

It is also possible to prolong life

Nor can the fault be erased.

What you can do is

Be close to that person's life,

It's about getting involved to the fullest extent possible.

And one more thing.

How about being involved with one user for half a day?

behind you,

There are many other users who also need support.

If you burn yourself out,

Nobody will be able to help.

“I have to say something good”

You don't have to think that.

Sometimes,

“That's painful, isn't it?”

Sometimes that's enough.

Also about cause and effect and causation

I don't think I should take it easy.

Illnesses and disabilities

“It's your business”

No one is qualified to say that.

rather,

The more suffering people are,

I need mercy and support.

The first thing to do is to support users.

and about the same,

Protect yourself.

I think that is also an important job as a supporter.

Gassho

Alleviate suffering and have peace of mind together so as not to be left behind in loneliness

I have no choice but to listen to it. Wouldn't that be fine?
I also work as an administrative consultation support worker on a daily basis. I also do counseling, listening, and grief care at Vihara.

There are times when I think I'm powerless. It's frustrating not being able to help them.
However, it's hard not being able to replace that person's life and only being able to stand next to their suffering. I think you're snuggling up very carefully. Thank you very much.

Your job is “consultation support.” It's the same as me.
A symptom in which the disease or disability has progressed. Pain or suffering that is beyond the scope of medication or treatment.
Under such circumstances, what I want most is not to be abandoned. Being there for me. I want them to be understanding people. I want you to be on my side. Isn't it about receiving that kind of cry from the heart?

Vihara is an activity to relieve suffering and share peace of mind through the connection of living a “desired life” from the Buddha so as not to leave suffering people behind in solitude.

It is also the spirit of Vihara that you feel for your partner and are snuggling up to them. He feels like a Buddha. I think that's how reassuring it is. Since it's in front of you, I can also say weak sounds. I am grateful for the kindness of the person in front of me nodding.

If you don't have a strong sense of “me,” the other person is like you.

When I was in college, my professor always talked about this every time he gave a lecture.
When the university president at the time died, he said, “I've been studying Buddhism, but I wasn't saved.” and.
That person only studied Buddhism as a Buddhist subject at university, and it wasn't a source of salvation for them in the true sense of the word. Why is that? That's probably because it was a way of learning by knowing academic knowledge.

At the University of Tokyo, “What is Kannon?” That was discussed, and the conclusion was, “Isn't Kannon a symbol of Shakyamuni's enlightened wisdom and compassion?” I mean that. Therefore, the professors asked Nishiarumuzan Zenji at Sojiji Temple in Ishikawa Prefecture at the time, and came to the conclusion that “Kannon symbolizes the wisdom and mercy of the Buddha” at the University of Tokyo, and they offered to ask for Nishiyuzenji's views.
Nishi Yuzenji said, “You guys know that Kannon's salvation is like this. But I'm doing it.” There is an anecdote that it was returned.
With knowledge, “It would be nice if it were like this.” It's a deep story that if you understand, hear, see, and know, it won't be a salvation.
It is only when true salvation is found in oneself that it is a guide to people's salvation.
By all means, please look at yourself through zazen and discover a way of salvation common to all.
You were so well cared for by so many people at the site that actually reduced the burden on the minds of many people, and you actually ❝ did it ❞, which is really great. Thank you very much.
My child also has developmental disabilities, and when I reach a reasonable age, I will encounter new difficulties when these things are a problem.
The other day, too, “Dad. Why did you give birth to me because of a developmental disability? Don't give birth like that this time around.” I was told from the bottom of my heart that I was really sorry for making me feel sorry, I couldn't do anything, and I was really sorry. I can only apologize.
“Sorry...”
“Understood...”
I thought again that I must support this child for the rest of my life.
Being close to someone who is suffering from not being able to change is really difficult.
Help, save, learn, and tell you good advice that is the third path so that if you incorporate the nutrients and teachings necessary for the brain, you can “get better,” and tell them all the way, from this angle, and from another angle so that the burden is eliminated even a little bit.
I, my children, and people cannot change. However, I am only working to aim for the best that I can do.

Sometimes I get angry when someone else tells me

I like the idea of causal retaliation and the current suffering due to causal relationships in previous lives.
If you think about it that way, everything is your past self, so the feeling of hitting eight or being jealous of others fades away, and you can quickly feel at peace.
In other words, in a series of thought circuits that imagine causal retaliation, there is an aspect called a type of meditation that calms the mind.
However, what is difficult is that if you can think about it spontaneously, you can feel at peace, but there are times when someone else says it to you, you may get angry.
Also, people who know Buddhism on a daily basis (from when it's not too painful) already have a switch to switch to the thought circuit described above when it becomes difficult, but even if someone else suddenly says something like the above during difficult times, there are many cases where the thought circuit changeover switch cannot be done right away, so there are cases where they are repulsed.
There were several such questioners at hasunoha as well.
Also, in the Jodo sect, a thought circuit switch that leads to an absolute sense of security that if you do nembutsu, you can pass away in the Pure Land of Paradise in the next life, in other words, a happy ending in your life is promised, is created in conjunction with Nembutsu.
This is not just about believing; the physical act of chanting nembutsu with one's mouth becomes a switch.
Again, there are cases where people get angry when someone suddenly says “salvation in the afterlife.”
Actually, switching to the idea of salvation in the afterlife is what saves real life now and here.
In the end, if possible, it is better to have them perform physical acts such as meditation or nembutsu, etc., but if you are a religious person (monk), you can say that, but it's difficult to know how far you can step into Buddhist content in the category of your occupation.
If it's meditation that has diluted the color of Buddhism, such as mindfulness, it might still be easy to do.
(Actually, it's better to have a Buddhist explanation before meditating.)

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