Regrets about naming children

I gave birth to my daughter the other day. I regret naming that child.

I had been considering a few candidates for my husband's name since I was pregnant, but there weren't many names that came right, so I decided to decide after looking at his face after giving birth.

After giving birth, they ranked each other from among the candidates, and as a result, they decided on the name described in the profile (my first candidate).
However, after the birth registration was submitted, that name didn't come right, and I regret that it should have been the name that was the second candidate.

The first candidate name came to mind when breastfeeding a baby in the hospital, and I couldn't get away with it, and the first name judgment was also the best, and it sounded the same as my older child's name, so I decided on this name.

Also, the name of the second candidate uses the same kanji as the person I have a grudge against, and I didn't really want to add it because I thought I would regret it every time I write my name from now on.

However, as the days went by, I began to think that the name of the second candidate was more suitable for my daughter's face, and that the meaning and atmosphere of the name was similar to that of the older child.

I thought about it for about a week, but I couldn't hold it, and I confided in my husband what I regret.
My husband told me that the name was simply because he wasn't used to calling him the name he had named, that the name was just a name and that how to raise him in the future was more important, and that he should change his name when he really didn't like it, and it calmed down a bit.

The name of the second candidate was actually the name my husband chose as the first candidate. I'm really sorry that I regret it even though my husband gave it to me at the end.
And above all, I feel sorry for my daughter that she may have failed to start her life by naming her.

Confiding in my husband made me feel lighter, but after all, I still have regrets somewhere in my heart for a long time. Will one day come when I feel I'm glad I chose this name?

4 Zen Responses

It's all a precious “relationship” that links a daughter and her name

Congratulations on your birth. It is said that they are suffering from regrets about the name, but it is all a hesitation due to the mother's deep love for “I want her daughter to live the best life.” So please don't blame yourself.

In Buddhism, we believe that everything is connected by a “relationship.” What suddenly came to my mind while breastfeeding, the fact that my first and last name judgment was good, and above all, I avoided “past relationships with negative feelings (kanji)” and prioritized pure wishes. All of these are precious “relationships” linked to my daughter and her name. It's the best name chosen by the couple thinking from multiple angles, being affectionate, and getting rid of their worries, so there is no such thing as a failure at the start of life.

As the husband said, the more you call him by name, the more familiar he becomes. My current hesitation about “was this name good?” will eventually melt away as my daughter grows up healthily and is called by that name with a smile.

It's a wonderful name my mother gave me with her intuition and love. Please have confidence and nurture them with lots of love from now on. In the future, my daughter will definitely be appreciated by her parents for their deep love.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

You don't have to worry about anything. I think it's a good name. I hope they grow up bright and healthy.

Please prioritize raising your children

I read it.
I read it with your child's name something you really regret. I don't know the details about you, your husband, or your children, but I feel like I understand your feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I think it's only when you think about your children that you are worried that way, but your children have already given their lives in this world and are being loved and raised by you, your husband, and everyone.
Please continue to pour out that love to your children.
Names are important, but it is even more important to raise children well from now on. And it's very difficult, isn't it? Please do your best to raise your children and keep living.
I sincerely pray that you and your husband will love your children and that your children will grow healthily, and that you and everyone will live a happy life from the bottom of your heart. And I wholeheartedly support you and everyone. We wholeheartedly agree

Become confident and proud of yourself while feeling safe and loved by the name your parents call you

Naming is the most troubling thing, isn't it? Something that children will stick with for the rest of their lives. Something you carry on your back. Parents would think so.

There are many naming consultations on Hasunoha, and they have answered a lot until now, so I hope you can use those answers as a reference.

I don't think the name they thought up as a couple would suit their daughter's face. There are probably images that come to mind from your name.

The name is something you call, write, and look at, and become very familiar to that child.
I have dealt with many children at school and kindergarten due to my occupation. I've touched on the name. Every child was adorable. Why do you think that? That's because every child is important to me. We don't decide people by name. They looked at children properly and called them by name with compassion, saying they wanted every child to grow up, they wanted them to smile, they wanted to be loved, and they wanted to protect them in order to be happy. Therefore, that child's name becomes “that child itself.”

Names are important. That's why I cherish that name and love that child. Also, children themselves feel safe and loved by the names their parents call them, while feeling their own confidence and pride.

The couple's name is something special. It's going to be a precious and comfortable sound just for that child. Let's keep loving it.

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