I don't know how far I should tolerate my husband

I have read your consultation. It must have been very painful because of the many layers of painstaking work.

The fact that they didn't have children may also have the meaning of a deep “relationship.” In Buddhism, everything is thought to happen through relationships (relationships). In the current environment where your husband's financial and ethical issues pile up, if you were given a new life, would you have been able to nurture them with peace of mind? Perhaps it can also be taken as the Buddha's guidance to “save your own life and heart first.”

It's natural for your heart to be shaken by your husband's kind behavior every day. However, repeated dishonesty and misinformation about money fundamentally destroys the trust that is the foundation of a married couple. There's absolutely no need to blame yourself for “I don't like being unforgivable about money.”

In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “hogejaku (hogejaku).” It means let go of the obsession you're holding on to. The reason you want a “pure relationship” and suffer may be because you are obsessed with your “ideal marital image” rather than your current boyfriend.

We've had enough discussions so far and got rid of our worries. You don't need to strain your own mind any more. I think the time has come to move away from the pain of trying to change an unchanging partner and choose to “let go” for your own happiness. Please make decisions that value yourself the most.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Human relationships are complicated, so it's not something others can easily say, but I'm asking them to write what they think.
First of all, you can't respect people who steal your money. Even if you have debts, it would be nice if they made a proper repayment plan and executed it, but stealing is not good. If that's about pocket money, it's still dangerous to steal a lot of money. Maybe it's gambling addiction. People with gambling addiction get into debt. If I have debts, I'm mentally driven, so I don't mind lying. It would be nice if I could overcome gambling addiction by being admitted to a specialized hospital, but I think it is necessary to at least consult with a specialized organization. It's better not to think that it will heal on its own.
Also, even now, I thought that enrolling in order to have children would put pressure on both of us. That's because it's okay to enroll after you have children. If you are going to enroll, you should prepare for each other to live together even if you don't have children. I want the two of you to think once again about what we are like and what is important to us.
There are also people who are working hard to overcome gambling addiction, and there are also couples who are good friends like young lovers forever, even if they don't have children. There are various patterns of marital relationships and relationships, and there is no correct answer that is determined. Please derive the correct answer for you guys.

I read it.
Something like that happened with your husband, and it really conveys that you are having a very difficult time. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

The first thing to do is get your money back. What my husband took without permission is stealing; in other words, it is a crime of theft.
If your husband didn't steal it, let's file a damage report with the local police station. Then, be sure to explain it to the police officer and have them investigate.

That kind of money is very important, and if you ignore it, everything will become selfish.
And you can be laid-back or dishonest about everything. Rather than money being important, relationships of trust are damaged as a single person, and repeatedly stealing or telling lies is a crime.

Please calm down and face your husband again and try talking with him.

In that case, ask them to sincerely apologize for stealing money and debts and promise that improvements will be made.

After that, let's face the future firmly and discuss the future with your husband. Let's live by helping each other while sincerely discussing our future lives and children.

I sincerely pray that your husband will respect you and each other without committing such lies or crimes, and raise your children while caring and helping each other, so that everyone can get along well and live a happy life.
And I wholeheartedly support you all. We wholeheartedly agree

I saw your consultation, Poppo-san.

I think the reason they decided to get married even if their debts were revealed before marriage was a decision made after the feeling of liking prevailed, even if they had a goal of having children.

But now it's shaking.

There are many couples who want to do their best as a couple to repay their husband's debts thanks to their wife's domestic help.

If you've actually made a repayment, I feel like it's a real relationship.

It's easy to say goodbye, but the only solution this time is Poppo-san's feelings.

I also have a wife who wants to be supported by love, even if it's tough, and if that's what makes life worth living for.

it's just... you can't take money from the house.

There is no sincerity. I have to say it.

It seems like it's being repeated.
Gambling habits aren't easy to get over...

But I don't want to break up.
I want to finish it peacefully. It's Poppo-san's feelings.

It's stressful, isn't it?
This is because my husband doesn't return the love of supporting and forgiving his husband with gratitude.

Under such circumstances, the environment for infertility treatment is not good either.

It makes me want to go on a rant too, doesn't it?

As for the notebook,
Rather than having a relationship or an affair, it would be nice if you didn't go borrow money...

If Popposan pays for expensive infertility treatment, Popposan has control over the household, right?

They seem to have financial strength, and I have a long life in my 30s from now on.

Once again, put your hands on your chest, think about whether this person is good, and live with this husband even in a mud boat! If you decide to do that,
There is no choice but to make up your mind (once you've paid off your debts and improve your habits.)

I want to make my life a little easier and more enjoyable, get rid of stress, and save money for the future.

If you think about it, the decision is in a different direction.

Unfortunately, I don't feel like a marriage is a 100% pure relationship.

There were times when my mind wasn't in order.
First, don't blame your husband for making decisions.
What do I want to do? Can you endure it?
Can you be happy? Will they continue to be satisfied with the way they are now?

Please ask yourself questions.

If discussions are in parallel, there is no choice but to make your own judgment without putting the other party in the judgment material.

I have the power to live, the power to forgive, and I feel like I'm being trained in my current life, and it seems that even if I can live alone, I can protect myself by making smart and accurate decisions while I have my own physical strength (including money).

Good luck and try to make a decision!
I sincerely pray for Poppo-san's happiness.

While I was being made to read your questions and replies, I still have a great feeling that I can't leave my husband alone.

I have symptoms that I cannot control on my own, called debt due to gambling addiction. This is probably something that cannot be controlled by the husband's will alone.

The immediate solution is also important, but it is also necessary to work on the root cause of why people became dependent on gambling.

GA is also all over the country. Even in self-help groups between parties, there are times when only the parties are blamed or receive opinions, and there are cases where the way the meeting proceeds does not suit them.

I also run sharing meetings, and I always join as a facilitator. Even though they are hurt, the management of the meeting is carried out so that they are never forced to do what the person himself wants. It would be nice if my husband could put down his feelings and choose a place where we can face each other.

There is also an association of families that support addiction. I also want to support your determination to support you. Please let go of your own feelings with Hasunoha.