I'm afraid of marriage.

If you both like each other, get married. If you think about your values, your outlook on life, your family environment, your past, or your future, you'll become an old woman. You can make compromises and adjustments by getting married and reconciling with each other.

I think it's natural for you to feel uneasy. You've been strongly influenced by your home environment, haven't you? I'm drawn to negative emotions, wondering how his family will influence him and whether I also have the power to be happy.

But I don't understand that.
That means it's not going to be decided.

Is it something that interferes with your happiness? Happiness for him and you is something two people can build. You should prioritize it above all else. You won't be sacrificed. That's because everyone has the right to be happy.
I met a wonderful person. Let's take good care of it.

Were you able to tell him about your family? It would also take courage to confide. If he says he'll accept it, I think it's okay to be spoiled by him who snuggles up to you. Let's be happy. You'll be happy.

Lotus flower
While reading the sentences, I felt one thing.

Maybe it's not that I'm afraid of getting married,
“Believing in happiness and getting hurt again”
Are you feeling scared?

father's violence.
My brother's gambling addiction.
A rough home environment.

If you are someone who has had a hard time at home where you are supposed to feel safe,
I don't think it's unreasonable.

People learn from experience.
Just like people who have been burned are afraid of fire,
It's natural for people who have been deeply hurt to be afraid of getting married.

However, there are things I'm worried about because I've had that experience.

What is lotus flower
“It makes me think a happy marriage is impossible”
It says.
But is this really true?
Maybe “I shouldn't be happy”
It's not “I'm afraid of losing after being happy”
Isn't that it?

We anticipate the future through past experiences.
However, the future is not necessarily a repetition of the past.
Rather, people who know the pain of violence hate violence.
People who know the grief of families being destroyed by addiction become sensitive to the signs.

The more people who know the pain of home,
I know how thankful it is to live a peaceful life.

A wound is not a sign of misfortune,
It's also proof of what I've learned in life.
Nevertheless, it is important to live today with care.

I think it's such an accumulation.

Rather than worrying about future happiness,

Something that made me laugh today.

What I was thankful for today.

I was able to be kind to someone today.

We will increase the number of such small lights one by one.

Beyond that,
If you notice it, the day will come when you look back on it, “That was a bright life,” isn't it?

I read it.
You feel very uneasy about getting married because of your family environment up until now. I don't know the details about you or everyone, but it really conveys how you feel. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
No matter what kind of family it is, I don't think there are any problems or problems at all. Even if it can be seen from the outside as if nothing happened, there are a few things that cause various problems. I think it's something that can be overcome at least somewhat by going through trial and error while helping each other as a family.
There may be times when you feel uneasy, but why don't you share your thoughts while talking with that person. I'm sure that person will also be able to accept your thoughts and think together to support each other.
Your future is yet to come. Please live your life while helping and sharing with your loved ones. I wholeheartedly support you, that person, and everyone else. We wholeheartedly agree