I want to become a monk of the Jodo Shinshu Otani school!!

　Good evening. That was quite frustrating, wasn't it? However, when I look at it from my point of view, I feel that I'm still in the middle of the road.
“I want to save people with the help of the Buddha” is probably your wish born while gaining life experience. I think that in itself is precious. on top of that.
Yamabushi training enhances one's own strength. It leads to “I want to save.” However, “borrowing the power of the Buddha” is probably an alternative power thought. However, we have (probably) not arrived at the “absolute” of Shinshu. I am a member of the Jodo sect, but the subject of “save” is always Amida. What we do is “brokering,” and even though we sometimes say “Amida, please save this person” (since it's the Jodo sect), we don't say “I'll save you.” The focus of the Pure Earth system is to “look at one's own mediocrity,” and the structure is that it only acts on other people through the fact that one is saved (recognizes, feels, and believes) oneself is saved.
Also, how do you perceive “being saved”? Being “saved” in the Pure Land system means “you in this world will pass away in paradise after finishing (by Amida's power),” and this does not mean that people who don't like being cured of illness with Namu Amida Buddha will disappear. What kind of “salvation” do you want to offer?
This kind of human growth (albeit bluntly) is not due to position, as you have seen. I'm wondering if I can only grasp Nembutsu if I keep praising him.
Of course, “first get a qualification. I think it's also a good idea to set the shape to “find a temple to enter first,” and then enter the nembutsu line. In other words, start as believers or believers. Even if the hurdle to “make me a disciple” is suddenly high, I think “will you let me participate in the Nembutsu meeting” is still an open gate. Your own hunch is amazing, but if you let me tell you, I still “jumped at it.”
As a matter of fact, I was also born as the eldest son of a temple, but things like “salvation” and “what is a monk” deepened along with the practice of nenbutsu. So maybe... what the chief priest was reluctant about was the message “Enthusiasm at the entrance is important, but what is even more important is repeated practice.”
Confidence teaches trust. It's our commandment called confidence.
Thank you for writing “thank you.” If it comes true, continue.

I can imagine that the experience of finding the light of salvation in the teachings of the “Other Power Prayer” through the appearance of people supported in the welfare field will be a very precious driving force for advancing Buddhism.

However, before aiming to become a monk, it is necessary to once again dig deep into “why Shinshu”. There is a fundamental difference in approach to enlightenment between the “Shodomon” of Shugendo and the Shingon sect and the “Jodo Gate” of the Shinshu sect. Since Shinshu does not have physical training like Yamabushi, it is necessary to practice vast “disciplines” called Buddhism and Shinshu studies, which usually take 2 to 4 years.
It seems that the reason why temples were reluctant was not that they denied the roots of religion, but because there were realistic concerns about “whether they can enter a steep academic path from their 50s after being a member of society and fulfill their responsibilities as a monk without getting frustrated along the way.” Also, the phrase “he became the chief priest because he was the eldest son” is by no means absurd. Taking on a “shukugo (shukugo)” that you did not choose yourself, and walking the path of Nembutsu together with your followers while struggling is also a splendid way of life with other powers in the Shinshu sect.

Even if you talk about your own enthusiasm, it is extremely difficult to suddenly find a master or monk at a stage where you don't know your identity. If you really want to become a Shinshu monk, why not consider the “Honganji School (Onishi),” which has almost the same doctrine. The Otani school has a limited number of training institutions, but if it is the Honganji school, there are places of study that do not require the recommendation of a master or monk at the time of enrollment, such as the Central Buddhist Academy and Tokyo Buddhist Academy.

First, try starting your studies in earnest at such an institution. As we continue to show an attitude of sincerely facing Buddhism, we are sure that mentors and monks who will establish relationships with you will surely appear. I hope your enthusiasm will come to fruition.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

First, I bow my head to the ability to act by going around several temples.

There must have been times when you were turned down, and there was also the frustration of not being able to convey your own thoughts.
However, when I was reading the sentence, I felt
Hirasaka-sama may have a slightly narrower field of vision right now.
Temples and monks also have various ways of thinking.

There are also people who try to protect Buddhism in reality, such as managing temples, relationships with parishioners, and relationships with the community.
On the other hand, there are also people who pursue the teachings themselves in depth and try to walk while valuing ideals.
I'm not talking about which one is correct.
Each one stands in a different place.

And Hirasaka-sama
If anything, they seem strongly attracted to the latter.

“Salvation through the power of the Buddha”
“I want to save people”
“I want to get to the point and walk Buddhism”
He values such ideals.

However, the chief priest in front of you does not necessarily stand in the same place.
Maybe that's why the conversation didn't mesh.

If so, “why don't you understand?”
Not “what kind of mentor am I looking for?”
It's also important to think about it.

Buddhist relationships are not about having anyone become a mentor because anyone can do it.
It's about getting relationships with people who are on the path you want to learn.

And one more thing.
In Buddhism, moderation is respected.

You can't proceed with ideals alone.
You can't proceed with reality alone.
Even if I only look at mountains, I stumble upon stones underfoot,
I lose sight of where I'm going even if I just look at my feet.

Hirasaka-sama has ideals.
That's great.
But right now, it seems like I'm being drawn a little too much by that ideal.

There was also a strong opposition to the chief priest's words
Maybe it's because I felt like that ideal had been hurt.
If there's a path you're really looking for, don't be in a hurry to give an answer.

Learn reality while having ideals.
While knowing reality, don't forget your ideals.
Walking with both of them is
I think it's important.

And just beyond that step,
I think I'm waiting for an encounter with a teacher I really have a relationship with.

I pay tribute to the will to seek the path and the ability to act by visiting many temples.

Idiots are also people who have been learning and seeking across denominations since they were young, so I understand your feelings very well.

However, what I felt when reading the story was that the chief priest did not deny your wish to “be saved,” but rather asked the question “why do you want to become a monk?”

Buddhism is originally a teaching of saving people.

However, becoming a monk and a desire to save people are not necessarily synonymous.

Being close to those suffering in the field of welfare is also a splendid Bosatsu act, and the work of medical care, nursing, and consultation support is also a precious practice.

It's definitely not a denial,

“What are you looking for to become a monk?”

I think that was confirmation.

Also, the last chief priest I met

“He became the chief priest because he was the eldest son”

I can also understand how disappointed you were to be answered.

However, for those born in a temple, that is no small reason.

Just as the eldest son of a farmer protects the fields, just as a fisherman's child inherits a boat, the temple child bears the responsibility of protecting the Buddhist lanterns that have been passed down from generation to generation.

Continuing to fulfill that responsibility for decades is no easy feat, even if it isn't the path you chose.

rather,

“I want to become a monk in search of myself”

With someone who says

“I've had that role since I was born”

If so,

Just because they have different positions doesn't mean which one is superior.

I also understand the feeling of being attracted to the Shingon sect.

A path where you go into the mountains, train yourself, and try to get close to the Buddha.

On the other hand, the Jodo Shinshu

“Saved by Amida Nyorai's original wish”

That's the path.

Although the direction is different, they are both serious Buddhism.

What is important

Mantra or Shinshu?

Yamabushi or monk?

It's not,

What would you like to do in Buddhism for yourself?

Foolishness has been holding hands with Shinto and Buddha for over 50 years, but I still can't say “I understand.”

Rather, the older I get, the more I am reminded that I didn't understand anything.

That's why

I think those who keep seeking are the ones who seek the path.

Why don't you try to give an answer right away, learn both Shingon and Shinshu, climb mountains, and walk carefully in your Buddhist relationships.

When the relationship is ripe, I think the path we should take will naturally be paved.