About the birthday play from a friend

The birthday prep you haven't received yet isn't yours, so you have no right to be mad about it.
It's a plus if you get it, so you should be happy,
There's no downside if you don't get one, so there's no need to be angry or sad.
You danced yourself into a conceptual, negative illusion in your head, even though you didn't actually lose money.
Such people are at risk of becoming depressed due to the stress of anger, so be careful.
Because you are like that, there is probably a part where you feel comfortable with friends who are also prone to mental disorders.
Maybe sensitive people are compatible with each other.
I was reminded of a poem like this.
“Hey, do you know?
They say you can't polish a diamond unless it's a diamond.
That's why we met.”
Glass that is too delicate will collide with each other and break on both sides, but it would be great if they polished each other like rough diamonds.
I hope there will be such encounters in the future.
Everyone has worries such as greed, anger, laziness, pride, etc., so it will be a peaceful world if you have a “mutual” mentality, a look of mercy that forgives the other person's afflictions, and a wise gaze that quickly notices your own afflictions.

　Ame-san, it's hard to build relationships with friends anywhere. Please take care of yourself.
You're alone with your worries and blaming yourself, aren't you? I think my loneliness turned into anger precisely because I cared about and expected my partner so much. The fact that you had that honest sense of regret is itself proof of your kindness.
But let me give you some advice that lightens my mind a little from my point of view.

I'll start with the most important conclusion.
In the internet world, the phrase “I'll prepare a birthday present” itself is already a great birthday present.

Even though my partner has a mental disorder, as of last year, they were thinking about “I want to celebrate your birthday and make them happy.” The fact that “they remembered me and wanted to make them happy” is probably the most valuable gift of all.
Internet friends and real friends who share their daily lives need to be thought about separately. In terms of the sense of distance on the internet, if you exchange things or ask for “keeping promises” and “words of apology” with the same level of enthusiasm as in reality, the other party feels “heavy” and causes the relationship to break. Your partner is now in such a state that getting involved with others is painful. It may have been a bit terrible to hit it with the expectation of “I want you to say a word of apology.”
There's no need to blame yourself for unexpectedly turning off LINE. Everyone loses their cool when loneliness is extreme. I was able to honestly apologize and express my feelings on discord, so I did everything I could do now.
From now on, instead of expecting and waiting for the other person, you will be good at receiving “I am very satisfied just by getting words.”
Relationships with internet friends where you can enjoy the “margins” without leaving last the longest. Why don't you wait for the day when your partner's physical condition returns and you can casually talk about creative activities, as if you were leisurely looking up at the sky while enjoying your own days?
Gassho

I read it.
I see... that happened and it ended up like that. I don't know about you and your friend, but I can tell you that you are very angry. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
What do you think, they're friends on the internet, so I don't know how long you've been in a relationship, and how much you and that person have feelings for them.
You and that person live each day separately, so I feel like if you get caught up in that way too much, you won't get along well with your partner.
There are places where things don't go well, of course, so I think it's okay to connect to other things without getting caught up in just that.
Why don't you get involved with lots of people without sticking only to that person?
I sincerely pray that you will continue to cherish your connections with people and that you can live peacefully and peacefully with everyone.
And I wholeheartedly support you.

It depends on your relationship with your internet friends, but if you're told to get ready, you'll honestly have expectations. I think I was confused by what I had been waiting impatiently for, worrying about my friend's mental health, and the fact that there was no response.

This incident is due to the fact that your friend's mental disorder continues, and you can't afford to wait for your friend's reaction. Both of them are probably full of things about themselves.

It takes a lot of patience to be in a relationship with someone who has mental health problems. My clients are all like that. It's quite difficult to keep promises, and there are people who blame themselves for not being able to do it. Even so, having a future called promise can also help us look forward. Please understand that too.

Of course, the way you feel for your friend is very kind, and I'm happy too. Thank you so much for caring about it.

I'm sure your feelings will come through. Your connection is your friend's hope.

Even you, when your friends pull their feelings for you, come take a day off at Hasunoha. Have a relationship that won't be difficult while keeping a distance from your friends.