Is it your heart that is suffering?

“How should I interpret the fact that suffering is created by one's own mind?”

Speaking of DV things like Sara said
The subject of “self” applies to parents who engage in DV
I don't think they're on the side that gets upset.

Suffering is within the world's myriad “self”
It appears to be there
Lack of understanding of them is a symptom of all kinds such as DV, addiction, neurosis, etc.
I think you can think of it as appearing.

If you go to the bottom of the matter and think about where the cause of suffering comes from, you can look for it in the mind of the person who took the action.

What is in the mind of the side affected by the action can be seen as the result rather than the cause of suffering.

The causal relationship between cause and effect is a core part of Buddhism's explanation
It's simple at first glance, but sometimes difficult to understand.
This is not limited to Buddhism, and it would be nice if we could borrow the wisdom of our ancestors who explained various reasons and deepen our own questions.

I would appreciate it if you could use it as a reference.

Namu Shakyamuni Buddha Gassho

Thank you very much for your consultation. While studying the teachings of Buddhism in earnest, the questions that have arisen are very important points of view.

In conclusion, your sense of incongruity is definitely not wrong. This is because Buddhism's teaching that “suffering is created by the mind” is by no means like blaming a child who is being unreasonably violent, that “your heart is the cause.”

In Buddhism, the cause of suffering is grasped as a causal relationship (causal relationship). For specific pain (relationships) brought about from outside, such as actual DV or incidents, the top priority is to first protect yourself from that environment and try to resolve them realistically. It is not the intention of Buddhism to clean up this place simply by “having a heart.”

So why is it called “the mind is the cause”? This is because it indicates “internal conflicts and difficulties in living” that we feel in our daily lives. We may amplify our own suffering many times over by having a strong obsession with others or our past that we cannot change, and by having unsatisfied desires (cravings). This “obsessive heart” is the true form of suffering in Buddhism.

They deal concretely with unreasonable suffering in reality, and on the other hand, they notice unnecessary obsessions created by their own mind and let go. Having these two perspectives is the wisdom of Buddhism, and it is the path that leads to the “supple and strong heart” you aim for. Don't be impatient, let's deepen our learning one step at a time.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

First of all, we all suffer, so the assumption is that there will always be some kind of suffering as long as we live.
Also, the reason why we have repeated such painful reincarnations is our obsession and thirst for life due to unawareness.
When a child who has been abused dies, if even a little bit of worry or obsession remains, they will be born again.
In other words, the first point of view is that our minds cause us to repeatedly reincarnate and prolong our suffering.
If I had attained Buddhism without hesitation in my previous life, I wouldn't have had this life.
The second point of view is that children who have been abused also have time when they have not been abused.
If you think about abuse even when you're not being abused, your worries and suffering will increase.
For example, getting an injection hurts for a few seconds, but if you're not scared before the injection and don't hate the doctor once the injection is over, the pain will only take a few seconds.
For example, there are also people who suffer from frequent memories of abuse 10 years ago.
This is increasing suffering due to delusional distractions. That's my second point of view.
There are cases where the physical pain right in front of you right now is unavoidable,
In addition to physical pain, we who are unaware
Worries, suffering, and stress often increase due to the past, future, delusional distractions about oneself and others, and worries such as greed, anger, laziness, pride, etc.

The cause of our suffering is our attachment to things, people, and ourselves.
Everything is impermanent and has no substance, so let go of your obsessions.
The basic teaching of Buddhism is that if you do that, you will be freed from suffering.
Your story is totally different.
Buddhism strictly admonishes harming people.
If parents are abusing their children, they must stop it immediately.
It's a story that has nothing to do with the suffering in Buddhism, duckha (not going the way you want).
I don't know what kind of Buddhist book you are reading, but I recommend that you read the right one.

The meaning of “delusion” in Buddhism is slightly different from the “wrong imagination that clearly contradicts the facts” that we usually imagine.
For example, the interpretations that “half of humanity is actually disguised as reptile-type aliens” or “the world is controlled by a dark power called the Deep State, and all politicians are minions” are clearly contrary to the facts, but in the case where children as in the question are receiving DV, the interpretation “it's hard being hungry because the mother doesn't give you food” is not contrary to the facts.
So, if you observe the flow of what kind of function of the mind causes these two interpretations, there is no difference. You can see that the two are exactly the same as the flow of the mind's function of how to feel information from the outside world, how to make judgments, and how to give meaning.
The problem here is that interpretations based on the function of this mind are always governed by one's own convenience (level of likes, dislikes, and cognition). These are the three poisons of the mind, shuddering (a devouring heart that endlessly seeks what you like), shuddering (an angry heart that wants to endlessly avoid what you dislike), and absurdity (mind of ignorance that cannot recognize facts as they are).
In cases where children are receiving DV, parental abuse is the cause and relationship, but when it is established as a result, it passes through an interpretation based on these three poisons.
When dealing with the fact that “this mother doesn't feed herself,” the primary meaning is to think “what should I do to get food” and “what should I do to make my mother give her food,” but in reality, this is often not the case. “I want to be close to my mom, but I can't eat when I'm with her. They think “what should I do” and “what should I do if I talk to someone else and my mother doesn't like me or someone makes a fool of me.” Such interpretations that deviate from the primary meaning are broadly called “delusions.”
Reptile-like aliens, the Deep State, etc. are out of the question, but our everyday words and actions must be based on interpretations (this is called sorting) which are more or less influenced by the Three Poisons. This causes suffering (not going the way you want it).

The purpose of Buddhism is to eliminate pain and provide comfort. As you say,
Feelings of pain and comfort are created by my own mind.

If you don't control yourself, nothing can be solved.
I'll write how to control that, so try it out.

By focusing on breathing
On the theme of being able to return to one's true self,
There is a poem I wrote, can I send you a message?

＜To me now to you now＞
Look at anger and suffering with awareness.
By observing, that feeling will disappear naturally.
Don't look for the source, and don't make an effort to get rid of it.
The serenity and calm that is born there are children there
It provides the peace you want.

Both the feeling of being happy and the feeling of being sad are in your emotions.
 In other words, unless you heal yourself, you can't heal anyone else.

So let's do it. Let's go back to our true self by observing our breathing. That's how you can save not only yourself, but others as well.

Thank you for your incisive question.

Certainly, in Buddhism, people are sometimes told to “go back to yourself” and “don't seek the cause only from others or the environment.”

But cutting just that out is misleading.

There is such a word.

“After all, the Buddha, for whatever reason, lies down on his side and dies 80 years later, between the two trees in Kushina-jo Castle.”

“If the Buddha is perfect, why did Buddha get sick and die at the age of eighty?”

The founder of Zen asked this question.

In other words, just because you have attained enlightenment does not mean that actual suffering or death from old age sickness will go away.

Therefore, the suffering of children receiving DV is by no means a delusion.

The cause is clearly violence.

Getting away from it and being protected is a priority above all else.

Don't settle real-life problems by “having a heart.”

On the other hand, what Buddhism preaches is a way of life where the heart is not continuously controlled by that suffering.

There are two sides to the event.

One is that we have to solve real problems.

Another thing is that we don't keep our hearts bound by that problem.

As long as you survive in this Shaba world, sometimes it becomes a fight, it becomes a trial, and there are situations where you have to fight.

The idiot himself is in the midst of just that.

That's why I think.

There is a difference between fighting and being controlled by hate.

We aim to solve problems in reality.

However, at the root of my heart, I am not controlled by that event until my life.

I accept that this may be one meaning of the Buddhist teaching that “suffering is created by the mind.”

It's not about running away from reality, nor is it just about being held captive by reality.

I think walking while staring at both is Buddhism.

We clasped hands.

That's where it's difficult. If you apply everything and think about it, it feels like there's a contradiction.
Other monks have taught me, so I'll start by talking about how difficult it actually is to live.

I am at DV support sites on a daily basis. There is nothing wrong with the victim, and it is wrong to use violence for any reason. Rather than putting up with it and enduring it, I want victims to reach out for help and protect themselves in a safe and secure environment. To that end, it is important for supporters to grasp the situation and provide accompanying support together so that appropriate responses can be carried out.
Here, we will grasp the current situation and think together about what we are looking for. In addition to victim support, there will also be issues with perpetrators. Facing the problems you are facing instead of using violence against others will support the perpetrators.

It seems like one problem, and it is necessary to capture causal relationships, such as various factors, positions, past experiences, etc., and there are various ways to approach it.

Buddhism's point of view is to look at the “things that cause suffering,” which makes it difficult to live, not only from the surrounding environment, but also from within oneself. It wasn't just someone else's fault that created suffering; isn't it also caused by one's own thoughts, perceptions, feelings, and experiences? It means that you can notice the cause by clearly looking at what is causing it to happen. That's a very important point of view.