Life doesn't turn out the way I want

Yes, I hope it would be great if it became the way I had imagined it. Even if you make an effort to do that, there are times when you can't do anything on your own. Life doesn't go the way you want it to, does it?

Once you accept it, you may be able to see leeway and improvements, but “acceptance” is probably the most difficult thing.

In Buddhism, we are taught to know that it is this world (humans) that does not go the way you want. Even so, it makes me realize that it causes suffering because it strengthens the desire to do something about it. The pain is also what I am causing.

There is a term “cause and effect.” Everything that is happening has a cause. There is no solution or release just because of painful suffering. I'm going to watch what's happening. I'm going to accept it. And if we don't accept that there is a cause that caused it, we will not be able to escape suffering. I'm still unable to find the ease of living.

What do you want to do the way you want it to be? What is the reason why this is not the case? If it's moving or changing someone, is that what that someone wants? Doesn't that apply to your idea? Maybe someone's way of life isn't something I can do anything about.

Regrets for the past. What makes you suffer?
anxiety about the future. How do you envision the future? What are you worried about?

I think the path of living together while thinking together is also encouraging.
I don't run out of worries, but that's probably because I'm a person who has the power to draw. Have expectations and desires. So it's also an energy for life. It's not a bad thing. It's also a feeling that makes everyone excited. However, if it expands greatly, suffering will also occur.
It's also easier to live by accepting that this is fine.

Broadly speaking in terms of the Buddhist way of thinking, individual “obsessions” such as wanting to be like this, wanting this, disliking this, and having to be like this almost never come true because they are rooted in one's own convenience. That's the natural state.
Even if it progresses partially conveniently, if it isn't more like this, your own convenience will grow endlessly due to the root of the heart's function of wanting more, disgusting this or that, and not knowing why this is the case.
If you see a difference between your own convenience and your current state, it will always be reflected as a “life that doesn't go the way you want,” causing “suffering.”
So, if you accept your current state as it is, will your mind calm down and you will be able to live peacefully? That's not the case. The state of not having enough money, no one to lean on, and not understanding people's feelings is an issue that must be solved in order to live a better life.
To that end, it is necessary to carefully determine whether the desire within oneself to be like this is certainly meant to live a better life, or whether it is inspired by greed, temptation, and deceit.
For example, when you think “I want 1000 yen,” do you want that 1000 yen to prepare dinner and nourish your mind and body, or simply because you feel like your strength has become stronger as money increases? The former is 1000 yen, which is essential, but the latter is 1000 yen without.
Of greed, hate, and hate, the most troublesome one is the most troublesome. (devouring. I want it, I want it) and I don't want (I want it. This is because after all, dislike (dislike) is something that is being pulled by a nuisance (let alone not being able to properly observe the current state).
As I read your question, I also feel like you somehow understood in your head what I wrote here. However, it is also a Buddhist teaching that there is a big difference between what you can somehow understand in your head and what you can put into practice.
In order to understand what you know in your head and be able to put it into practice, you need constant physical and mental training.
In Buddhism, there is a method called meditation to keep the body and mind quiet and reflect on oneself and others.
There are several styles of meditation methods derived from Buddhism. Why don't you try something that you can look up on the internet or in a book and that looks good?

Thank you for your consultation. I painfully understand the feeling that your life isn't going the way you want it to, and you're worried about “why me.” But please don't blame yourself.

The Buddha explained that “everything is suffering,” in other words, “life doesn't turn out the way you want it to.” All people suffer to a greater or lesser extent. Buddhism aims to be “Satori” freed from suffering, and the cause of that suffering is “anguish” such as “obsession” of “wanting this to happen.” Eliminating this affliction is the solution, and daily practice for that purpose is the “Eightfold Path.” However, it is very difficult for those of us living in our everyday lives to put this into perfect practice.

Therefore, instead of trying to do your best with only your own strength, there is also the Shinshu teaching of “leave it to Amida.” They praise “Namu Amida Buddha” and Nembutsu, and simply believe in Amida Nyorai, who was sworn to save all sentient beings, and leave it up to them.

Even if you say Buddhism in one word, there are various paths, and it is impossible to decide which one is superior. It's a good idea to choose the path that suits you. Opening “Satori” while we're alive may be close to impossible. However, it is possible to live “peacefully” even a little by changing the “way you accept life that doesn't turn out the way you want.”

Don't be impatient, go at your own pace. I hope you will accept your fluctuating heart as it is and spend peaceful days just like you.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

[Answer]

Life doesn't turn out the way you want it to.

It really is.

For myself, when I look back, all things didn't turn out the way I wanted.

Company management, parental care, and inheritance.

“How could this happen?”

I didn't think that once or twice.

But now I've changed my mind a bit.

We learn only because life doesn't turn out the way we want it to.

I began to think so.

For example, let's say you've tried very hard but didn't get any results.

Is that a failure?

I don't think so.

In the process,

“I should have done this at the time.”

“Let's try this next time.”

There must have always been such ingenuity and learning.

It's hard for people to grow just by living a life that goes the way they want.

Buddhism explains this world as “a world that doesn't turn out the way you want it to.”

That's why suffering is born.

However, through that suffering, I think people learn kindness, understand the pain of others, and grow themselves.

There will also be times when you regret your past.

There may be times when you feel uneasy about the future.

It's also a natural feeling as a human being.

The important thing is not to keep being swayed by that feeling.

“Today is today.”

“Let's do one thing we can now.”

This accumulation will eventually shape the future.

A life that didn't turn out the way you wanted is definitely not a waste.

Rather, people who have had a lot of trouble, made a lot of mistakes, and learned from it will be able to understand people's pain.

It's a great asset in life.

Please don't deny the path you've walked.

You've learned so much and gained so much because things didn't turn out the way you wanted them to.

That life is by no means a failure.

I think so.

Gassho