I can't feel safe talking to my husband

I saw the consultation, and I felt that they were very compassionate and didn't forget to be considerate of their surroundings.

I don't want to blame my husband, I just want you to “understand my feelings.”

On the other hand, the husband is also not making such a response out of bad intentions, and he may be the type to think “how to solve it.”

It is often said that women seek empathy and men seek solutions.

Therefore, there are many couples who pass by each other even if they have no ill intentions towards each other.

As far as I saw the consultation, I didn't get the impression that only the husband was particularly bad.

Rather, I feel that there is a big difference in the way the two of them perceive and express themselves.

Although they are married, they are two people who grew up in different environments.

Rather than thinking “why don't they understand,” isn't it important to take a step back and take a look, saying, “This person is someone who takes it this way.”

However, there is one thing that bothered me.

Previously, she was being treated for an anxiety disorder, and she stopped taking medication due to pregnancy.

Since it responds strongly to the husband's facial expressions and sighs, and anxiety is growing, mental and physical changes associated with pregnancy and childbirth, and a relapse of anxiety disorder are also conceivable.

It never means “you're crazy.”

Please don't blame yourself and we recommend that you consult a psychosomatic medicine, psychiatrist, or obstetrics and gynecology department.

The way you look at your relationship with your husband may change just by making your mind a little easier.

What is important for a married couple is not to fully understand each other, but to acknowledge each other's differences and move on.

There's no need to be impatient.

Please don't take care of yourself and take care of your own body and mind.

It's often said that women and men have different brain structures. Women seek empathy and answer with empathy, while men seek solutions and answer with solutions. As for Hasunoha, I often feel that there is a difference in responses between female monks and male monks. After all, it's different, isn't it?
I think it's a good idea to understand the differences before dealing with them. It's not that either one is bad. They're facing the same direction.
For example, if you talk to your husband about something, and your husband comes up with a solution, why don't you think (your husband sympathizes with you in the form of coming up with a solution) without saying “I want you to sympathize with me, not a solution.” If you do that, I think I can say “thank you” instead of “accept it.”
Also, if there is something bad about my husband's behavior, I think it's easier for my husband to respond if you tell them “I'm sad to do ○○, so I want you to do □□” with a specific solution rather than a way of saying “I'm hurt” and seeking empathy.
My husband and I often get along with each other. I know it in theory, but it's not easy to respond in a hurry. However, there are things that only a married couple can do, and if we increase the conversation itself by talking about today's events while eating while massaging shoulders and foot pressure points, I think little by little we will understand each other.
I hope you give birth safely.

I read it.
I see... my husband didn't accept your feelings and I read that you were very worried. I don't know the details about you or your husband, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

I don't understand your husband's way of thinking or personality at all, but maybe your husband feels like he's being blamed when you say it, so maybe that's why he thinks it's not bad and can't accept your thoughts.
Maybe my husband doesn't have enough room in his heart right now to accept your thoughts. I imagine that if your husband had room and peace of mind, he would accept what you think, “That's right.”

To that end, I think it's okay for my husband to take care of his own heart so that he can relax little by little, or change his mood and lighten his mind.
If possible, I think it's okay for both you and your husband to listen to the story and get advice from a third party you or your husband can trust.

Unbeknownst to us, humans become so hectic that they can't afford it both mentally and physically. I don't think modern people have any particular leeway. Even if you become physically rich, your mind is poor because you can't afford it.

Either way. Please take care of each one both mentally and physically, and take care of each other so that you and your husband have peace of mind.

I sincerely pray that you and your husband will continue to live every day richly and peacefully from now on, and that they will live happily while accepting each other with sincere care, compassion, respect, and acceptance.
And I wholeheartedly support you and your husband.

Is your husband complaining about your wife's complaints and complaints, just like you?
It may be a harsh statement, but I get the impression that you are unilaterally spoiled by your husband.
It's plain advice, but the key to a successful marriage is mutual appreciation and respect.
It's not about hitting the other person with a complaint or complaint and having them accept it.
In order to have feelings of appreciation and admiration, a certain amount of patience and love is necessary.
Even if you feel dissatisfied with the other person's words and actions, you probably shouldn't talk about it face to face unless it's too serious.
This is just like a normal human relationship.
There is no such thing as being criticized and not repulsed in the slightest.
No matter how much they love each other and get married, two people who have lived in completely different worlds until then live together, so it's natural for values to clash.
If they blame each other there, the marital relationship will fall apart in no time.
Put up with dissatisfaction for a long time, and try to show your gratitude and admiration with words and actions depending on the occasion.
If you do that, you'll understand what the other person wants or doesn't want, and you'll be willing to take the actions they want.
Nurture a good marital relationship through appreciation and kindness, just like praising and raising children.