hasunoha

I was suddenly kept at a distance from someone important to me.

There is someone I've become really good friends with at work in the past six months. I was transferred, but we continued to be good friends even after that.
We kept in touch every day, met regularly, and even talked about our problems with each other. People I like this are rare, and I wanted to be good friends for a long time.
However, from the day after one day when close members, including me and my partner, got together, they suddenly stopped getting in touch, and even when I contacted them from here, there was an unexpected response. When I ask if something happened, they say it's nothing, and even when I ask if they've done something, they say that's not the case and they worry too much. I also thought it was simply busy, but after that, I was informed that the schedule I had promised from 1 month ago was suddenly canceled 2 days ago, saying “it became difficult,” and I couldn't make plans right away after that, and I was very shocked and said, “Absolutely something happened, right? I'll spend time alone for now, but... Even though I sent something like “I'm waiting,” 11 days passed unread through.
It hasn't been blocked, and the SNS I was only connected to my closest friends, including me, hasn't been cut off, but I don't know what they mean.
I'm sorry for my own circumstances, but it was very painful, I couldn't sleep, and the food didn't go through my throat. However, I also have recently been recovering, and I think that is unforgiving.
Chasing after being unread is also annoying, and they may be ignored.
If you don't like me after doing something, I want to apologize, and if I can, I want to be good friends again. My partner is someone who lives a very difficult life, so I want to help if there are any circumstances.
He was the first person to say that he respected me, so maybe he unknowingly did something that made me disillusioned and missed it.
I think I'll have no choice but to try contacting them again after some time, but I don't know how much time I should free up.
Even if you talk to a friend, “if you're confused, you should listen,” “you should wait,” “didn't you do something that the other person didn't like?” etc. are scattered and I don't understand.
I know I can't get an answer when I listen to it, but in the end, I think that trying to work on someone is intrusive, and I just keep wondering when I should contact them again or not anymore.
If you're being kept at a distance, is it compassion for the other person to accept it?

4 Zen Responses

A good trigger for not being influenced by outside events or people, good training.

People originally keep their distance from everyone, so it's fine.
In Buddhism, the explanation for monasticism is that people are all separate, whether they are family members, twins, or triplets, so the answer is that while searching for just the right distance from each other, they “find” that they “find” that maintains a reasonable sense of distance and “place them there.”
A reasonable sense of distance is even if your opponent dies, right? It means we can't die together. So, if you depend too much on your partner, your balance will be lost.
A reasonable sense of distance. A reasonable sense of distance. Please chant this as a mantra and mantra for the whole day today.
Then more and more within you, oh, do I have my field? Oh, I am me, and is that person OK with that person? Oh, my thoughts were independent and separated by my own thoughts, and they were nothing but my own. Oh, the world has a new way of being different from my thoughts, and you'll be able to freely become independent from your anxiety and delusions.

Telling me that I respect and respect you is a thing of the past. It was at that time, and it was probably because we had a reasonable sense of distance from each other until then, that they were reflected in a good way, and we were able to respect each other.
Or maybe it was just a bland compliment in social etiquette for that person to treat others well from the beginning. Be careful of people who say the words you need. This is because it's easy to fall into dependency. Life is more essential than words. People who only say pretty words may be hosts, fortune tellers, or mystery boys, so please be careful about what I say. lol
Respect is also one-sided, or if there is a misunderstanding, it won't be a true respect relationship, so you can keep just the right sense of distance or correct your trajectory without trying to go to heights either.
What should I do to do to do that?
It is for that reason that you will find and maintain the spirit of independence, independence, freedom, solitude, solitude, independence, transcendence, and monasticism in the true sense of the word, and if you maintain it, you will naturally be able to find just the right sense of comfort between yourself and your partner without stress or dependency.

Buddhism explains that in life it is important to be alone in the true sense of the word.
“I'm always an excellent person in the true sense of the word”

Even if it's a special, friendly relationship, there will always come a time when the distance or shape changes

I am deeply sorry that you have suddenly been distanced from someone you are on good terms with, and that you have unsleepless pain and confusion. You probably looked back on your own words and actions and worried because you were respected enough to wish to help your partner.

However, no one knows the true intentions of others. As long as you say “nothing,” there's no need to go deep into the reason or decide that it's your own fault. The only thing that is certain right now is that your partner wants the “current sense of distance.” Repeated contact to find out the reason is like knocking hard on the door of someone resting quietly in their room from the outside.

In Buddhism, all relationships are considered to be “relationships.” Everything in this world changes “things are impermanent,” and no matter how close a special relationship is, there will come a time when the distance or shape changes. The pain that is afflicting you now is born from an “obsession” of wishing “I want to stay the way it was back then.” Also, don't blame yourself for being careless as you are regaining your energy. It is an important proof that the mind has naturally let go of obsessions and is moving forward.

The question is, “If you're being kept at a distance, is it compassion to accept it?” and that's exactly right. Now, gently accepting the distance and watching quietly is more kind than anything else to your partner, and it can also be a way to heal your own heart.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Let's calm down and see

I read it.
Something like that happened with someone you became close to. I don't know the details about you or that person, but I can tell you that you are very shocked and worried. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know about that time at all, but maybe there were words, actions, and attitudes that triggered something.
I don't know that person's private life or work at all, but it may have been very shocking for that person.
Even if you ask it now, they may not answer, or you may find it bothersome.
Either way, I think we'll wait and see for a while.
What do you think, if you and that person calm down after 6 months or 1 year and 2 years, you may be able to have an opportunity to have a conversation with some kind of trigger, and they may calm down and answer.
It's hard to know what's ahead, but it might be a good idea to spend some time looking back and taking a close look at yourself.

I sincerely pray that you will cherish the encounters and relationships between people in the future, that you will be able to have compassion, respect and respect for each other, and live a good and fulfilling life with everyone, and that you will be able to deepen your relationship with that person. We wholeheartedly agree

My opponent is also unjust. Don't be persistent, don't have expectations, and cherish the environment you have now

That bothers me, doesn't it? However, these are all things that only the other person understands. No matter how close you are, no matter how close you think you understand each other, they have an environment where the other person is placed, and they also have private time. You can't step in there, can you?

However, while I was being made to read your question, I think the other person is also unjust. It was such a close relationship. Even if you don't know what caused it, it can only be a pity to take this kind of attitude.

It even makes me feel like the person I've been in a relationship with until now is a different person. I want you to understand how lonely you are.

However, it is difficult to maintain relationships and feelings with people forever. It's something that's changing. So don't stick to your partner, don't have any expectations, and cherish your current environment. It makes life easier.