Divorced, living apart, children don't know

Even if you get divorced, you're still a father to your child.
Child support, visitation, etc. from the father are important rights for children, so it may be necessary to separate them from parents' disagreements and implement them quietly.
Of course, this is an exception when a father abuses his child.
Having a fierce marital fight in front of children falls under psychological abuse against children, so I think divorce itself is the correct answer.
For example, there are families who are assigned alone and live apart even if they don't get divorced.
It's good that there are various parent-child shapes.
Note that when a child misses their father, it is not equal to being on their father's side or your enemy.
People who have a habit of thinking in a polarized manner, such as whether they are enemies or allies, like or dislike, good or bad, etc., are more likely to have stress in relationships, so be careful.
Even if the child only said one word about their father, people with polarized thinking said, “Are you on their side until now!” I'm shocked and impatient, saying, “This is going to be tough, I have to do something to keep them on my side.”
However, once you calm down and let go of your polarized thoughts, you can take it loosely, saying, “Well, even if you get divorced, that kind of thing happens because it's a parent and child,” and then return to your daily life.
People with polarized thinking feel that even small events are major incidents, so you need to be careful.
There is a possibility that my former husband was also suffering due to his bipolar mindset.
appending
They also have in-person exchanges.
Wanting to live with 3 people is a natural feeling for children, so it can't be helped.
It would be nice if someday the time would come when I could talk to my children about the reason for the divorce.

I read it.
I read your feelings. I can see that you think so. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
It's a crime for my husband to cause various troubles and get into a fight.
I imagine that many people have been greatly hurt by their husband's words, actions, and attitudes. I think both you and your child have been seriously affected.
As a result, we were unable to live together due to my husband's sins like that. So I think it's natural to get divorced.
At the same time, since the husband is the father of the child, it is necessary to fulfill his role as a father. Maybe dads are kind to children. Maybe that's why they want to live together, but it's still going to be difficult to live together.
I think your child will understand such a situation at some point.
First of all, make it a priority for you and your child to spend every day with peace of mind. To that end, let's ask many people to help, support, and protect us.
Let's get active support by consulting with public institutions such as child and family support centers and child counseling centers for the lives of you and your child.
Talk to counselors and support staff about things you feel difficult about and ask them to take care of your child.
Also, when you're having a hard time, use respite care to have your foster parents take care of you and raise you. And please take care of yourself and rest.
Talk to a lawyer or counselor at a child and family support center or child counseling center about your divorce from your husband and ask them to handle it. Get guidance from public institutions, especially when it comes to raising children.
You and your child can live supported and protected by many people.
I sincerely pray that you and your child will be protected and supported by many people and that you can live a healthy life every day, that your child will grow healthily, and that you will be able to get along well with everyone and live a happy life.
Also, I sincerely pray that my husband will sincerely reflect on the crimes he committed himself and be rehabilitated, and that she will continue to raise her children. We wholeheartedly agree

You had a spectacular experience.

They talked to the police, and they said that the situation was such that they were temporarily protected at a mother and child shelter. When you think about those days, it's quite natural to think “I never want to go back to that life.”

On the other hand, young ladies are different.

I'm still young, and I still remember that my father, mom, and three of myself are a “family.”

Therefore, wishing to “live with three” is a very natural feeling for a young lady.

But that doesn't mean you made the wrong choice.

You have made a decision to protect your young lady from a dangerous environment.

Please don't keep blaming yourself.

I'm not trying to force the young lady to understand,

“Due to various circumstances, my mother chose to live with ○○-chan. But when ○○-chan grows up and we can think about various things on our own, we'll talk together again at that time.”

Isn't that enough?

Each person has a different personality, even if it is a parent and child.

A young lady has feelings for a young lady, and a mother has a life chosen by her mother to protect her life.

Neither of those two things can be denied.

Ahead of the trial now, you're probably tired both mentally and physically.

Please don't overdo it, and first make it a point to build up a peaceful everyday life with your daughter.

My daughter is still young, so she probably doesn't know what DV is directed at you. That's why I'm deciding that I want to live with 3 people, based only on my father's face.

However, DV is violence, isn't it? The husband's attitude of making his daughter cry is also abusive. According to the previous question, it was said that it was not recognized as a mental DV, but DV is a reason for divorce.

・Women's Counseling Support Center #8778
Be sure to clearly communicate your situation to the counselor. Even if you have evacuated to a shelter, it's clear that you are a DV victim.

・Parent and Child Exchange Counseling Support Center
If the father and son alone are concerned about visitation, visitation here is also possible. Let's talk about it.