My heart seems to be interrupted by my mother's care

　Hello. It's been a while. You made up your mind and went back to Japan, didn't you?
I appreciate that various thoughts have come and gone through the reunion and exchange with my mother and my family.
What I see is that only you and your mother are oriented to “let's take care of people,” and the rest of the family seems to be self-centered. It's like a structure of bullying, and from your point of view, it's like a relationship between enemy and ally.
Looking at the consultation, I think “if possible, two people should live together... in other words, change the environment,” but I don't know the feasibility of that.
However, as a monk, what I'm more worried about is dealing with “my mother's difficulties in life = what is inside me.” Isn't the fact that the situation is difficult is a result of acceptance by that “what is inside”? That's because I think so. Knowing yourself and updating yourself on a daily basis requires courage, but it is also an exercise in life itself. However, no matter what it is, it will lead to being able to talk about yourself in your own words. I think there's value in that, quite a bit.
I don't know how much time you have left for your mother, but if you are aware that you are still exhausted, even if you have the administration or the presence of friends who wrote in the previous “thank you,” I think that somehow trying to refresh yourself is not indulgent, but one of your responsibilities.

I read it.
You're living a very difficult life while taking care of your mother, aren't you? I don't know the details about you, your mother, or the people around you, but it tells me that you are so driven and having a very hard time. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
People around you also say heartless things and blame you, and I think you are plagued by questions and anxiety about what you have done. And I think they've reached their limit due to exhaustion both mentally and physically.

First of all, please take good care of yourself and heal yourself. Both you and your mother are living well now.
Your mother is also able to live well now with the support of you and many supporters.

Please take a slow breath first, then exhale slowly and slowly. Your mind and body are living well in order to keep you alive, and you are doing activities. Please take care of you and rest; please sleep well and rest your body. And please heal your mind and body.
Your mother will also be able to be taken care of by many people, so please ask many people to take good rest.
My mother is also supported by many people in her life.

Let's leave it alone even if people around you say bad things or bad words. There is no need to accept any malice or insults from those people; let's just let them all go. Those who say bad words are foolish, and they will always be rewarded. You can leave it alone.

I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can rest and recover well, that your mother can live every day with peace of mind while being cared for by many people, and that you can live every day peacefully with the support of many people.
And I will support you from the bottom of my heart.

We are happy to discuss it.

The first thing I'm worried about is that since I'm an only child, I may be burdened with too many family problems by myself.

Family discord from the grandmother's generation, moral harassment against the mother, and a laid-back mother takes care of it.

If you don't relax and break it, the negative loop in your home won't go away.

Also, the laid-back woman is in her 30s.

Meet new people and do things you want to do. You should have lots of fun, such as getting qualifications.

Now seems to be an important time to build up a life after returning to Japan.

Is it necessary to carry that much financially?

There is a difference between what you want to do and what you can do.
Not everything you've planned will come true.

Also, it is a time when families must replace the laid-back generation.

If everything is supported financially, I feel that it is normal that you make your own rules and not be content to accept the environment where taunts are said; on the contrary, your family suggests that it would be better to do this even more.

Even if we fight, we have to say what we need to say.

It seems that it is somewhat possible to protect your mother by doing so.

Mother's care, family dissolution. You may be thinking that there are a lot of things to do,

Once you quickly establish a codependent relationship with your family and mother in your heart,
Thinking from a bird's-eye view from 1 might be a good way to think of it as one way.

I felt that the method of relying on public services, making sure to make time for myself, and proceed while having time to spare would suit an intelligent, kind, and laid-back person.

If the moral harassment from your grandmother is too strong, there is also a way to say that they will separate from here on.

If that doesn't seem to come true physically, it seems necessary to rebuild the power balance by turning the mind into a demon here.

It changes the way we protect.

Because they are laid-back people with a strong sense of responsibility and a firm sense of responsibility, please protect yourself.

I sincerely pray for your relaxed peace of mind and fulfillment and for your mother's healing from her illness.

Well, you can't see how to move in the midst of what's best and what isn't the right answer.
They behave selfishly without the coldness or compassion of other family members. Your mother lived in a family like this, didn't she? I wonder how much salvation the presence of a daughter (you) would be, just because she had painful feelings.

I want my mother to live with peace of mind and a smile.

Which method is good for the mother?
In Japan, there is Sa Takazumi (serviced housing for the elderly). It is a rental housing for the elderly because safety checks and lifestyle consultation services are mandatory. Nursing, medical care, and welfare are included in the services, and the freedom and privacy of the elderly are also ensured. You can live as a different house (home) from a nursing home. Mainly, there are many cases where hospitals and nursing homes operate Sa Takazumi, and if something happens, they can immediately cooperate for nursing, hospitalization, rehabilitation, etc.

It depends on your mother's condition, but if you're in Sa Takazumi, you can live with peace of mind, and there is a concierge (life counselor) to check your safety, so I think you can work with peace of mind.

There are also adjustments with the amount, but I would like to secure a life away from other families.

What kind of expert is Nongyuri-sama?
A life expert?
health care professionals?
Accompaniment experts?

How would you like to be?
I want to turn doctors into enemies
I want to listen to my relatives
I want to take on everything

I want to spend my time as a child without regrets.
I want to stand by my parents.

Don't be greedy.
At times like this,
What I want to cherish the most
It becomes clear that you don't want to regret it...

Please take care of yourself.