I can only think about myself

What you should do now is acknowledge your own weakness without embellishing it with words, pledge to your heart that you will “never repeat your mistakes again,” and practice living honestly from this moment on.

Everyone is weak, and they have a “self-preservation” mentality that tries to protect themselves, in other words, “guts (guts)” in Buddhism. The fact that small lies and misdeeds have been repeated, and that detailed amounts of money have all been hidden are probably due to that weakness. However, it seems tough, but if you remain self-centered, “I'm afraid of getting caught” or “I want to be saved,” it cannot be said that it is remorse in the true sense of the word, and it will not bring peace of mind.

No one can leave the past as if it were gone. You need to be prepared to carry the regrets and guilt of the mistakes you have made up until now as your own “work (work).” However, from this moment on, people can change their way of life.

If the desire to “live a proper life for children” comes from the bottom of your heart, there is no choice but to stop worrying about it in your head and show it through action. The first thing to do is throw away even small lies and do your best to be honest with the family in front of you. Please break your heart not about how you can be saved, but only about “how you can make amends to your family with your way of life.” When you decide to live properly without repeating mistakes, the accumulation of daily practices will one day become the light that frees you from deep suffering.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

I read it.
I read what you have in your heart. It really conveys that you feel so uneasy. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

It's not something you never did. Your lying and stealing are sins that will never go away.

Please put your hands together with the Buddha, God, and your ancestors to honestly confess all of your feelings of misunderstanding, guilt, and self-preservation as they are, and sincerely repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and sincerely apologize for your sins to the Buddha, gods, ancestors, and those you have caused damage until now.
Also, please swear from the bottom of your heart to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors not to commit similar mistakes and not to tell lies.
If possible, please join hands with the Buddha, gods, and ancestors from the bottom of your heart every day to reflect, repent, apologize, and swear.
The Buddha, gods, and ancestors kindly accept all of your thoughts, accept you and snuggle up to you, save you, and guide you in a good direction.
Buddha, gods, and ancestors will continue to watch over you anytime, anywhere, and in any situation.

Even if you tell a lie again, I'm watching it closely even if you commit a mistake.

I sincerely pray to Buddha, God, and your ancestors so that you can sincerely reflect on the future, repent, and apologize, and live a safe life with everyone by keeping good thoughts, words, and actions in mind every day, and that you can cherish your relationships with each other and live a happy life from the bottom of your heart.
And I wholeheartedly support you and everyone. We wholeheartedly agree

I have been steadily repaying my borrowed money.

Aren't you living a life you've just taken?
Make a habit of giving a life.
Let's start there.

Is it possible to pretend there was no past
are you going to live with this regret for the rest of your life

As for the question, I can only say “Yes.” It's an act I caused, so I have no choice but to spend my life watching it.

What happened to the money you've been stealing since you were a kid? What was it used for? Betrayal will come back to you, so no one will trust you.

Self-preservation, in the end, is just making yourself stupid. More and more, you'll want to feel ashamed of the kids, too. Rather than protecting your small self, please live without turning your eyes away so that you can respond to the kindness that others have directed towards you. Otherwise, everyone will walk away.