I damaged his precious photos

Hello.
I've damaged his precious photos. He and his ex-girlfriend are in the picture, and they've been on the wall of his room since I first came to the house. The wound is something he won't notice without reflection, and he hasn't noticed it yet, but he's worried about whether he should say it himself before he notices it or after he notices it.
Let me tell you a little bit about the circumstances. Although he and his ex broke up about 3 years ago, they still seem to be on good terms like best friends, and after seeing him talking about her very happily at one point, I began to think, “Maybe he still likes her.” I talked to him about it once, but he clearly denied it. However, even after that, there were pictures of her on the computer desktop, and they still shared and used subscriptions, and events where her shadow was hidden from view continued anyway. Just then, a postcard suddenly caught my eye, and when I looked at it out of interest, a congratulatory birthday message from him to her was spelled out. I couldn't stop my tears from the moment I saw them being summed up with “I love you,” and I scratched the photo of the two of them on the wall right in front of me with a ballpoint pen that no ink came out. I immediately came back to myself and regretted that I had done something ridiculous. I tried various methods to see if I could fix the wound, but none of them worked. When I think about it later, it was an old postcard. It was probably from when we were dating, and even though we're not in a relationship now, I was really immature about why I hadn't come up with that much thought.
I've been bifurcated by another boyfriend in the past, so my paranoia may have accelerated because of that trauma, but I think that's just an excuse, and I want to face what I've done this time.
However, when I told him everything honestly, I hurt him, and I feel like I'm just freeing myself a little bit from my guilt. So, I'm worried about whether I shouldn't talk until he notices it, and if I do, how honest I should go. I want to avoid hurting him deeply rather than being disliked by him by speaking honestly about everything. A lot of emotions are still mixed, and there may be some parts that are contradictory in the writing, but I would be happy if you could ask for your opinions.

4 Zen Responses

Let's have your photos displayed too

If it's a photo you like enough to hang it on your wall, it's likely that it's storing data.
If it is attached to the wall without being covered by a photo holder, etc., and the printed surface remains the same, it will eventually fade or become dirty.
Since every act is impermanent, anything that has a shape will always break.
I don't think you need to feel that guilty.
Also, I don't think it helps if you feel bad that he shares a subscription with his ex.
Is this a very specific genre of content?
I understand that it's a good financial deal, and there's also a possibility that he doesn't want to share his browsing history with you because, for example, if you share it with you, he'll be embarrassed that you can see it too.
I think he doesn't care enough about you.
I think it's a good opportunity to talk about photo scratches.
It would be painful to think about the same things over and over again in the same information.
If that's the case, I think it's okay to take the plunge and act to change (overwrite) the situation (information).
I think it's okay to take this opportunity to express your feelings one more time.
For him, I think his ex-girlfriend is an important friend, and getting back close to a woman he once broke up with is very troublesome, and there is also a possibility that his ex-girlfriend already has a new partner.
So, there's no need to end your friendship with your ex, but it's natural for you to want to doubt the two sides.
If you're going to display a photo with your ex, ask them to display a photo with you too.

I read it.
There was such a thing, wasn't it? It conveys that you are so shocked and worried. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

After all, let's sincerely apologize to him for hurting him. Make a firm apology for what you have done.

Also, please be sure to tell him how you feel. Let's also clearly state that you were deeply hurt because he displayed photos of his former girlfriend like that, and that he kept his previous postcards.

It's just a general theory, but I think it's a bit out of place to keep and display letters from my girlfriend that I broke up with. It's no wonder they are taken if they still have regrets and are dragged on. I think it's natural for you to be shocked. Personally, I think we should stick to it well.

Either way, make a firm apology and tell him what you think. Also, please talk about the extent of the future relationship between the two of you. We wholeheartedly agree

Think carefully about your relationship with him. Will I continue to be bothered by my ex-girlfriend's shadow

it's kind of sad...
Are you still connected to your ex girlfriend and best friends? SUBSCRIBE SHARE? That alone is out for me personally. What's more, they celebrate their birthday and say they love you.

Somehow, I think it's disgusting. It's about him.

His ex girlfriend is probably that kind of person, and it's nothing compared to you, but the relationship between him and his ex girlfriend will continue from now on. they're my best friends.

Even if his feelings are disturbed every time, nothing will change for him. They are people who can do things well until now, so I don't think they'll notice your feelings from now on.

As for photos, wouldn't it be better to leave them alone?
Rather than that, think carefully about your relationship with him. If you go out with your ex, you'll continue to be bothered by your ex girlfriend's shadow.

Revealing everything is not the only justice.

Hello, Kei-sama.
I'm guessing you're spending a time where your heart seems crushed between “regrets I did it” and “I don't want to be disliked or hurt by him.”
There may be many people who say “I should honestly apologize myself” in general terms and clean things. However, I think the choice to “dare to keep quiet (take it to the grave)” is also a great way to live.
As long as we live as humans, there are hidden things that no one can tell people, and one or two past mistakes.
Is a “world where we can discuss anything with real intentions” really ideal happiness for everyone? I don't think so. Sometimes there are definitely “truths you don't need to know” or “untold kindness” in this world.
You suddenly became emotional and hurt something important to him. The act itself may not have been praised. But if you confide it all to him now, what exactly will come out?
Wouldn't you hurt him deeply, lose his trust, and end up complacent yourself saying “I felt refreshed to be able to say it”?
So I think it's fine to choose to keep quiet.
Just keep one thing in mind, though.
Hiding something means having a heavy determination to “live with this secret on your own for the rest of your life.”
It has long been said that “in order to hide one lie, 20 lies must be repeated.” When you're suspicious by him, when you're tormented by guilt, do you have the confidence to accept all of them and take them to the grave?
If you are prepared (brave) for that, keep quiet.
If you feel “I can't stand the feeling of guilt” or “it's painful to keep lying,” you should confide honestly for the first time at that time.
Lies and secrets are not simply divisible by “good or bad.”
What matters is**"Whether your life and relationship between the two of you will be better as a result of choosing that decision” **.
Please stop and think carefully about which one you should be prepared to live your life with. We support that you can make choices that are satisfying for your life.
Gassho

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