It's been 3 years since my boyfriend committed suicide.
I met someone new and we are getting married this year. However, I feel sorry for him who passed away, and I feel sorry for his parents and his friends. Can I just be happy like this? Wouldn't it make him or his parents feel bad?
Rather, I think he and his parents will feel sorry for you if you don't stay happy forever.
Generally, it is said that 90% of people who commit suicide suffer from “depression.” So, I think suicide is also a type of death from illness.
I don't think it can be helped because it's a disease.
Well, my cousin died of illness in his 20s.
He was a young monk who liked baseball and sword fighting (kenjutsu).
At that time, I already had a wife. There were no children.
Now, that wife is remarried.
As one of my relatives, I'm really happy that I'm glad they remarried and became happy.
In Buddhism, I believe we should cultivate the four hearts (four infinity hearts) of mercy, compassion, joy, and sacrifice.
Among them, “joy” is the feeling of rejoicing at the happiness and success of others.
The person who died became a Bodhisattva (Buddha's apprentice) in the Pure Land of Paradise, practiced ascetic practices with the aim of attaining Buddhism, and may have refined his four immeasurably hearts.
If that's the case, he should be happy with your happiness, he'll be kind to you with a heart of kindness (ji), and he should feel that he wants to get rid of your misfortune with a heart of sorrow (hi).
Also, they should let go of their obsessions with a sense of abandonment and not be jealous of you.
Therefore, the fact that you feel safe and happy is something that makes you happy, both in the human world and in the world of the Buddha.
I pray for your boyfriend's peace of mind and the attainment of Buddhism.
Namu Amida Buddha
How much grief and remorse have you had for the past 3 years when your loved one died by suicide? I would like to express my sincere congratulations for overcoming those difficult days, meeting a new good match, and deciding to get married.
There's absolutely no need to blame yourself for saying “I'm sorry for him or his parents who passed away.” Buddhism explains that those who have finished their lives will pass away in the Pure Land and become Buddha. In the Buddha's world, there are no “afflictions” or “obsessions” in the human world, such as jealousy or jealousy. Now he has a deep sense of mercy, and he just wants your happiness. Therefore, there is nothing other than a “blessing” from him in the Pure Land for your marriage.
I think there is also kindness in caring about the feelings of people living today, such as his parents and friends. However, you don't need to worry about that so much that you hesitate about your own happiness. Please give top priority to your own “happiness.”
In Buddhism, there is a teaching called “impermanent behavior.” This means that everything, good and bad, changes over time and doesn't stay in one place. It is also natural for a new light to come after sorrow.
In order to respond to his wishes as he gently watches over him from the Pure Land, let's cherish this time together with those we have a relationship with without any hesitation. I sincerely hope that you will be happy from the bottom of my heart.
Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo
Was the suicide unfortunate?
Did he kill himself because he wanted to be unhappy?
Is he still struggling with life even now that he has graduated from this world?
The Pure Land that our teachings lead is a world free of resentment or jealousy.
Buddhism is also the teaching of attaining Buddhism.
Buddhism also teaches that you believe that your boyfriend will walk the path of a Buddhist disciple.
Why don't you look at your boyfriend in a way that doesn't define him as unhappy?
If you are a Buddhist disciple, I would like to hope that you will leave your obsession during your lifetime and live a happy time one step ahead.
Please don't feel ashamed of your own happiness, but have a heart that wishes for the happiness of others
I also read the previous question. The feelings and time you've been facing, and the person who has supported you is probably him now.
People have no choice but to live for themselves.
While each makes life choices, they add meaning to them.
You can't bind him, your parents, your friends... your life to each other.
No matter what form it is, each person should cherish their feelings for the deceased. If you start your current life ahead of him, it's a natural happiness you'll have. Please take good care of your future life with your partner.
Please be happy.
That's because it's your happiness. Please get your hands on it.