I'm in trouble because my husband is a spoiled boy

It is truly admirable that you can walk with a firm eye on your future, such as working full time every day and making efforts to obtain qualifications. However, because of that hard work, I feel like a “big kid” to my husband who is reluctant to work every morning, and the feeling of being irritated and anxious is painfully conveyed.

Being grumpy in the morning or sleeping late on holidays is a sight that can be seen in many homes, but it is natural for counselors who are struggling every day to feel burdened. However, my husband is not at all comfortable, and I think he is doing his best by enduring the stress of the workplace in his own way, such as picking up and dropping off his juniors.

As you might have guessed, there is a very high possibility that the past of not receiving enough love from parents during childhood has led to current “indulgence.” Maybe they're trying to get those of you who can forgive your heart the most right now to accept your heart that wasn't satisfied when you were a child. This fundamental part of the mind is not something that easily changes now that you are an adult. Please, have a little bit of compassion for the loneliness of the heart behind that, and look at a little bit of indulgence in many ways.

The feeling of worrying about “how to survive in the future” is particularly strong, but as the teachings of Buddhism show, there is no shortage of anxiety when thinking about the future. If you get too carried away by anxiety about the future you haven't seen yet, you will lose sight of even the room in your own mind.

In order to let go of anxiety, first try to have a constructive discussion where the couple can face each other peacefully and share their true intentions with each other. Preparing for the “future” is also important, but I sincerely hope that the couple will first support each other and search for wisdom to live this “now” vividly.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo Law

At home, I think it's all about complaining and indulging. So does my husband.

However, what I hear every morning is that this one is also tough (I want it to be solid. This makes me feel heavy, saying, even if a child is born, my burden will surely increase). It's getting more and more uneasy, isn't it?

It's hard to complain or have a weak voice outside, let alone swallow it when you become an adult. In front of the house or wife, they probably get spoiled as if they just exhale.

As a partner who walks together rather than spoiling them, let's dodge them with a bright smile as if they were to push their backs and rely on them, saying, “Let's get through today together too ~ it's a fight.”

This shout, like my usual password, is a switch to switch feelings. My husband starts his day doing that. Work is important, and even if you know what you have to do, it's about being in an equal relationship while successfully forgiving when you just talk about it.
It's not about being like a mother who spoils you; it's about being partners who rely on and support each other. Please build that kind of relationship.

Also, anxiety about the future and establishing your position are worrisome. I think savings are also necessary to some extent, but while children are small, they can receive “child allowance,” “child medical expenses subsidy system,” “free tuition,” etc. such as child support, medical expenses, etc., and it doesn't cost that much money. It's also easy to save money during this time of year.

I also obtained qualifications at university, but while my children were small, I also learned for new qualifications. Even after a child is born, you can do things you can work on.

As a couple, let's develop the ability to overcome from experiences from time to time while also drawing ahead.

I read it.
I see... your husband's attitude is causing you a lot of trouble. I don't know the details about you or your husband, but I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
It probably depends on the environment my husband was born and raised in, and I think there are also age factors.
If it's a young age group, I think there are times when men drag on the feeling of being relatively young. There are also people who don't easily get out of the student mood even when they go out into society, aren't aware that they will live independently even when they get married, and prioritize their own hobbies over taking care of them even when they have children.
It depends on each person's consciousness and will, but it may take time to switch feelings quite a bit and face work and home firmly.
Nonetheless, since I'm going to live with you, it's still important for the husband himself to be aware of it.
Little by little, it might be a good idea for you and the people around you to encourage awareness so that you switch your feelings from indulgence.
Or please introduce this place to your husband.
Why don't you talk about your husband's feelings here. I think there are some questioners who think the same way as my husband. Among them, I think there are things that my husband may notice while watching the stories, consultations, and answers of various people.
Each and every one of us continues to grow and change as an individual.
Please be kind and the two of you will continue to help each other.
I sincerely pray that your husband will grow up healthy, that you and your husband will cherish, care and respect each other, and that they will live well together and happily. And I wholeheartedly support you and your husband. We wholeheartedly agree