How to determine if your behavior is on your own axis

I don't know what my axis is.

I'm currently changing jobs for the purpose of “becoming a full-time employee” and “living where I want to live.”
Thanks to you, I was interviewed by several companies, and I was excited to get close to the possibility that my dream would come true, but my sense of anxiety became stronger as I interacted with agents and the day of the interview got closer, and the other day, I was unwell for a day and left work early.
In the first place, the reason I decided to become a full-time employee was that my ex-girlfriend told me “I'm worried that my income is low on a part-time job,” and this is a “former girlfriend axis,” right? In the first place, they dated because both parties were told “I want them to get married soon” by their parents, and they dated under the initiative of their parents, right? Also, I feel that the way to proceed with job change activities is also an “agent axis.”
My original intention is to “live where I want to live,” and to be honest, whatever the employment type, really, anything is fine.

If you're really acting on your own axis, you won't feel anxious or sick, right?

When I posted the question on Yahoo wisdom bag, “Isn't there something to do before asking silly questions?” I felt extremely uncomfortable when I received answers that deviated from the purpose of the question, such as “Let's first become a full-time employee and become financially independent” (← I live alone, earn a living from my own income, and have financial independence), and “my ex-girlfriend would be sad if she saw this question, and she would be stunned if my agent saw it.”
I was seriously worried and asked the question out of my mind, but is this a “stupid question”?

4 Zen Responses

The essence of choosing a job is “what kind of work do I want to do”

The way the questioner seriously faces his own life and is troubled is by no means stupid. First of all, please don't deny your own suffering and accept it firmly.

1. About the “self axis” and the true nature of anxiety
There is no such thing as “if you move on your own axis, you won't feel uneasy.” Even if it is a path chosen by one's own will, if there are changes in life or pressure on the future, everyone may become uneasy and get sick. Poor physical condition is not an indicator to measure whether one is on one's own axis; it is the body's natural response to excessive tension.

2. Other people's opinions and “my own axis”
There's nothing wrong with motives starting from the opinions of an ex-girlfriend, parent, or agent. What is important is “whether or not you are satisfied with the choice in the end, even if the trigger was given by someone else.” The attitude of using advice from others as materials and making final decisions on one's own is my axis.

3. Organize priorities and specific ways to proceed
The desire to “live where you want to live” is also an important condition, but the essence of choosing an occupation is “what kind of work do you want to do (industry/occupation).”

① Solidify your work axis:
Let's set the desired ranking for what kind of job we want to get. 3 points or more.
(It's easier to decide if it has a certain width)

② Organize conditions:
On top of that, priority of salary, working conditions, and place of work (place of residence) is determined. Also, it is necessary to consider that there is a possibility of transfer in general positions, etc.

③ Deepen your self-understanding:
In order to successfully change jobs and work stably, it is essential to grasp your own “characteristics” and “aptitudes.” We strongly recommend using Hello Work, etc., and proceeding from “self-understanding” by taking SPI3, occupational aptitude tests, etc.

There's no need to be hurt by wisdom bag's heartless answers. Don't be impatient and start again by organizing your own characteristics and wishes.

worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Choose the path you think is preferable

I read it.
I read your feelings. I read it, and I thought it would be great for you to try to make choices based on your own axis. I don't think it's stupid at all. The answer to Yahoo wisdom bag is just the respondent's personal opinion. I think it's okay to just think of it as an opinion and pass it on.
Since you are living your own life, I think you can make your own choices by considering what you are aiming for and how to seek. There will also be timing and encounters for each, so I think it would be nice if you could live a fulfilling life by doing things you didn't make a choice.
There are all kinds of people in the world, and they have various opinions.
I sincerely pray that you will consider and choose your future based on your own thoughts and aspirations, that your life will be enriched, and that you will live a happy life.
And I wholeheartedly support you. We wholeheartedly agree

You are the protagonist of life

Thank you for your consultation.

I am Yahoo! I also understand the feeling of consulting with wisdom bags.
Even if I were in the same position, I think it would be tempting to ask someone for their opinion.

Relationships with marriage in mind, and job change activities aimed at becoming full-time employees.
Both are major milestones in life, so it's not unnatural to feel anxious or lost.

You think of it as a “former girlfriend axis,” “parent axis,” and “agent axis,” but I have a slightly different point of view.

People don't live alone.
I live in relationships with many people, such as my family, friends, lover, and people at work.

Listening to the opinions of people around you and being influenced by them is not a bad thing in itself.

The important thing is to decide for yourself “what to do” on top of that.

I almost never decide on my temple, company, or home alone. The decision is made after consulting with family and surroundings and listening to various opinions.

At home, there are rather many cases where my wishes don't come through.

However, I don't think of it as the “other person axis.”

The reason I ultimately decided to “choose that path” is because I am myself.

Also, I don't think there's such a thing as “if it's really my own axis, I won't feel uneasy.”

Because it's the path I chose for myself, the feeling that I don't want to fail or regret it becomes stronger, and I sometimes feel uneasy.

Having anxiety isn't proof that you aren't centered around yourself.

Rather, I think it's proof that they are taking life so seriously.

Incidentally, every morning when I go out to work, my two dogs bark violently.

“Don't go!” It also seems like it's being said.

Still, I'm on my way to work.

It's not because someone told me, but because I'm the one who finally decided, “Let's go to work today too.”

While listening to the voices around me, the final choice is myself.

I think that is my “personal axis.”

The opinions of those around you are also an important point of view. Centering on my own thoughts that I think from there.

Since we live in a society, we are sometimes influenced by opinions and ideas around us. While accepting opinions from those around you, I think it's important to have “what I want to do” and “what I think” as the axis.

If “what others think” and “what is right in the social world” are prioritized, you will have your own fuzzy feelings that cannot be resolved, and you will be swayed by what the other person says.

If it wasn't something you really wanted to do, it would go by without feeling joy or fun.

It's quite difficult to have a firm self axis, and my own axis may be narrow. So sometimes I get lost, and I refer to the opinions of those around me, but at the end I try to make my own decisions. This is because I want to take responsibility for my life.

It would be nice to be able to make choices and actions based on one's own values and beliefs without being swayed by other people's opinions or public evaluations, but life experience may also be necessary for that. However, by gradually thickening one's own axis, hesitation will decrease, and one's own way of life will be realized. I try to think for myself while gratefully listening to the opinions of those around me so that I can do that too.

The opinions of parents, ex-girlfriends, and agents are also important points of view. If you think so, it will become your own axis, and by looking at your own thoughts from there while using them as a reference, you will become your own axis.

It's not a stupid question. It's rude to say that people's problems are stupid, isn't it? Worrying is proof that you are seriously living, so it's precious.

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