I'm tired.

The state of trouble has been conveyed.

You've faced so many problems alone for a long time, haven't you?

Even each one is a serious problem.
It's all gathered at your place.

Having come this far, I don't think it's a story about who is to blame, who to persuade, or who to get back on their feet.

Please ask it as a methodology.

Please run away.

You don't have to try to persuade your husband.
Don't fight with your mother-in-law

If you work poorly on your surroundings or try to change your family, the conflict deepens, and the brunt may be directed at you.

So first, think about how you can get out of this environment yourself.

It says you want to work.

Then, first find a place nearby where you can work even for a short time, and little by little, make money that only you can use.

If possible, jobs where you can get cash quickly, such as daily payments, weekly payments, etc., are also good.

At the same time, try searching for jobs with fully equipped dormitories where you can live.

If you can secure a place to work and live at the same time, you will be able to see a realistic way out of your current home.

What is important

It's not about solving all of your family's problems before you get out; even if you still have problems, the first thing you do is walk away from there.

Also, if necessary, use the government or counseling agency to help you leave safely, not to have your family intervene.

You have a life of your own.

From now on, there is no need to live by just cleaning up the debts, gambling, and troubles of your husband and adult children.

It doesn't matter if you start with a small step.

working.
Having your own money.
Then get ready to leave.

Why don't you start your own life in a new place?
If you keep thinking for someone else and for someone else, you'll both fall apart in the end.

PostScript

Please save yourself first.

The first step is to stand up for yourself, rebuild your life, and regain some room in your mind and body.

It's natural to worry about your second daughter.
However, don't try to take on your second daughter's problems at this stage.

If you fall down, you won't be able to help anyone.

Save yourself first.
On top of that, you should think about what you can do while watching your second daughter's situation.

First, it's important not to increase your worries, suffering, and stress in your daily life.
At least I haven't starved to death for a second now.
Nevertheless, there is a way to make this one second unhappy.
It's a “delusional distraction” where you think a lot about the past, the future, yourself, and others.
First, take a deep breath and stop delusional distractions to relieve stress.
I recommend that you look up Vipassana meditation and mindfulness practices and try them out.
On top of that, let's stop providing financial support to adult children at present.
Let's let my son go bankrupt himself.
Also, no matter what your husband says, try doing some kind of part-time job.
Normally, I don't think there's anything negative about working.
First, you should keep it down to the amount of work that is covered by taxes or health insurance as dependents.
The assumption that “if work doesn't continue, it's negative” is negative here.
Even if it's tens of thousands of yen, if the amount of cash you have increases, you can relax your mind.
Also, for housing, it's a good idea to apply for public housing.
Please also look up welfare.
Please check if each child is unable to receive welfare.
Do what you can do now to the extent you can, and that's all you need.
Let's break down everyday life into simple tasks.
It's a simple task if you just look it up.
If you just go to Hello Work, it's a simple task.
Delusional thoughts about the future give the illusion that simple work is complicated work, so let's break it down into simple tasks with only “1 second now” and do them little by little.
After all, thinking “why am I the only one” is a delusional distraction and causes stress, isn't it?
Don't think about things that are painful to think about when you notice “Oh, that's a delusional distraction.”

I read it.
You've been having a very hard time until now, and you're still being very pressured. I don't know the details about you or your family, but it really conveys your painful feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know the details, but I think you've been deeply hurt and driven by the severe DV.
Please consult with public institutions and support groups as soon as possible.
https://soudanplus.jp/
Please immediately consult with the city hall or legal affairs bureau in your area, receive advice, and receive protection and support.
I think the first step is to get away from your husband and have them protect you so that you can live with peace of mind.
Your life is very important, and you have a right to live in peace.
Let's get various support from supporters from public institutions and support groups.
I sincerely pray that you can live with peace of mind and that everyone can live a healthy life without such violence or violence.

Everyone in your family depends on you when you're in trouble. With this, it's not a place for you to rest; it's a series of worries and doubts about how to live your life all the time. Even though you're in such a situation, you've been supported because they want them to become independent someday.

There may also be an effect of the family environment, but your children's debt problems are not your fault. Each child faces the cause of creating debt. Also, I'm having trouble with my husband's behavior (way of life).

You're the one involved in family issues, aren't you? In the previous question, you also went through the bankruptcy procedure for your son, didn't you? Even so, they all fell apart due to this kind of situation.

There is a “Self-Reliance Support System for the Needy” and a “Self-Reliance Counseling Support Project.”
We will create a support plan just for you.
If you have any problems or concerns about your life, please contact your local consultation desk first. Support staff receive consultations, think together with the counselors what kind of support is needed, create specific support plans, and provide support for independence while being close to each other.

https://www.gov-online.go.jp/article/201504/entry-7806.html

Please rely on this one too. Let's make a support plan so that your child and you can live a healthy life.