I don't understand the value of my existence at work.

I moved to a new job this year. I'm a high school teacher. I was transferred quickly, and I'm in charge. There are about 10 grade staff, and I am the only new member.

It seems like my homeroom teacher became me due to the Elimination Act. The co-teacher is a man who has passed his 60th birthday. Are you busy with supervisor-level work and homeroom work, both public and private? It seems like they declined with something like that... from everyday communication, I don't have to be the homeroom teacher, right? I think so.

Even if information is shared, it is conveniently divided on the spot on the day, and everything prepared is wasted.
I didn't like that and asked in advance, “Are there any supplements?” “I'm going to do ○○. Is that good?” I tried to ask. “Nothing in particular! Understood!” I'll say that at the time, but in fact, they just come out loud and do it without permission. It's pretty appropriate, but they're enviably good at speaking. Disagreements make me feel bad.

Also, there are times when information is not shared with me, and discussions are progressing with a different person from my co-teacher. It seems that only memos are left behind for me.
The grade manager doesn't have his own axis, so in response to my opinion, “even if you consult with me...” “What is the co-teacher's opinion? What are your thoughts?” I said, and I'm proceeding with my co-teacher without sharing it with my co-teacher. For the time being, I try to say “thank you” to myself and those around me.

However, it is confusing that I am seen as unreliable, and the mistakes made later (as a result of my co-teacher doing it properly) make it look like I did it.

On the first day of 4/1, I was invited to lunch alone, and I was scared to be asked a lot of personal questions about my educational background, upbringing, family tree, childbirth (degree of morning sickness, delivery method, etc.), etc.
They hit me hard and give me instructions with my face, so when I think about it now, I think it was a luncheon to identify me.

My boss and people around me are co-teachers, and “God, a kind and funny person” and “what is the co-teacher's opinion?” It's said, but I'm just uncomfortable.
My sense of incongruity is that no one believes in the current situation.

It's been six months since I was transferred, and I think the people around me are in the process of observing “what kind of person this person (me) is,” so I don't want to be distrusted, especially due to the influence of my co-teacher.

How do you keep your distance from people you don't respect? I can only think of it as a typhoon causing disasters.
Also, my surroundings and I don't seem to have any trust or trust, so is it OK to cherish my own opinions and axes? Or is it better to leave it all up to us?
They're kind to the office bureau that whines, so if I say selfish, they'll fit in...
I don't understand it anymore.

I can't help but feel uneasy about being responsible due to the elimination law.

4 Zen Responses

The value of your existence lies in the way you look at the students right in front of you

I'm deeply sorry for the difficult situation where you seem to lose sight of even the value of your existence due to unreasonable everyday life in a new environment. You've probably spent days where you can't rest both mentally and physically.

The current situation, which can be seen from the content of the consultation, is a very troublesome structure of human relationships. The co-teacher seems to be a person who is good at appealing to others and taking the initiative while avoiding troublesome practices and responsibilities. The grade manager is also on a no-brainer principle, and they are probably in tune with the co-teacher so as not to cause waves. The fact that people around you lift up your co-teacher as “god” may actually be a “defense technique” to avoid losing your mood and suffering damage.

In other words, it's not that you're isolated because you haven't arrived, but the current situation is that you, who have been transferred, have been incorporated as a “convenient coordinator (or breakwater)” into the distorted relationship that has already been completed.

As you said yourself, this co-teacher is a “typhoon that causes disasters.” Refrain from spending energy trying to change someone you don't respect or trying to get them to understand, just as it's useless to persuade the typhoon to “change course” or “calm down.” The first priority response is to create a “physical and psychological shelter” to protect yourself.

It's about drawing the line between “let go” and “protect”...
You don't need to think in the two extremes of passing your own opinions or leaving everything up to them. If it's “not disadvantageous to students,” please let go “feel free” and save your own effort even if your partner sneezes up. On the other hand, only the parts related to the fundamentals of being a teacher, such as student safety and mental care, are defended as an “inalienable axis.” This “balance” is important.

The value of your existence lies not in fighting in this unreasonable staff room, but in your gaze at the students in front of you. This is separate from the time to wait for the storm to pass, and please protect your own mind and body first.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Let's talk about it as soon as possible

I read it.
I see... you're in great trouble because your co-teacher did something irresponsible. You'll soon be 60 years old, so you've probably experienced it, but I think that kind of attitude and behavior is extremely irresponsible, and I think it's sexual harassment to ask all about you personally.
After all, let's promptly consult with the principal, vice-principal, and chief academic affairs officers so that they can revise that person's attitude and behavior.
Maybe that person is a senior, but I don't think that should mislead you or your workplace.
If there is no improvement, consult with the Board of Education or the city hall school administration department and ask for appropriate responses.
If it escalates to asking about personal matters, please consult with the Legal Affairs Bureau about human rights.
I sincerely pray that you will be able to work with peace of mind while cooperating with the people around you. We wholeheartedly agree

Pride doesn't matter (forget it once)

You seem to be struggling to protect yourself.
But let's forget it for a moment. No matter what your peers think of you, it probably has nothing to do with students.
The co-teacher who comes up later may be doing it because they think it's good for the students.
In other words, results matter.
Worries such as greed, anger, laziness, pride, etc. cause worry, suffering, and stress.
Both your pride worries and your co-teacher's pride worries are trash in terms of Buddhism.
Who on earth would be happy if they jerked up to protect their pride?
Worrying about the value of existence in the workplace is also an annoyance (garbage) of pride.
Forget about those worries, do it if you think it's necessary for the students, and that's all you need.
This is just a Buddhist position.
In reality, there is a possibility that there are many people with a high level of pride in the workplace.
That's why I think if you do what you need to do without worrying about your own pride, and without getting angry, you can look like a person with a large capacity, and you can shine brightly in the workplace.
1. Greed, anger, laziness, and pride are causes of worry, suffering, and stress.
Two, the other person also has worries, so if they are “like each other,” they will condone other people's worries, and a look of mercy, saying, “There are cute places even with a partner like this if you look closely.”
Why don't you try to be aware of these two points on a daily basis?
However, let's talk to your boss.
Teachers are people who have also studied psychology to some extent, so if you discuss your complaints and problems, I think there are many bosses who can get along with the conversation.
Thank you so much for your hard work.
Thank you for your busy work every day.

Communicate repeatedly and anticipate the words and timing to be conveyed

You've been doing your best up to this point. He's also a senior who has passed his 60th birthday, and it's probably acting by overtrusting his own career.

Your homeroom teacher must have experienced it until now. Maybe that's why they want to leave it up to young teachers.

While listening to your story, I feel (probably unreasonable). However, there is also a relationship and atmosphere between teachers, so even if your arguments make sense, you don't know how they will be received, and I want to avoid putting my position in jeopardy.

It's because I'm frustrated that I estimate the words and timing to be conveyed. Also, since it is your homeroom teacher, let's have close relationships with students and gain their trust. Let's continue to communicate while building up strength, just as the assistant manager thinks we have to accept it. Why don't you try to get your understanding and goodness recognized little by little? Wouldn't that make it easier to communicate?

← all dialogues ← previous