Preparation and exhaustion until the wake and funeral

　Hello. Preparing for a funeral isn't something you do so many times, so I think it's a good thing to get tired. And first of all, I would like to pray for you too. Namu Amida Buddha.

Well, what I'm worried about is dealing with sudden visitors. You probably won't be able to relax because it's “without notice.”

Even when I was a father, there were many people who came directly, and the whole family handled it.
However... those people didn't come to talk to us; they came to say goodbye to my father. So essentially, it would be nice if it could be achieved. I think our role is enough to “tell you the date and place of the funeral” and “pray.” If you don't serve tea, you have to talk properly... if you try to respond perfectly one by one, you won't have this.

This isn't limited to funerals, but when I'm busy, I ask, “What are you doing this for in the first place?” I try to look at the whole picture. You don't have to do everything with the same power. Use power for important areas, and omit everything else a bit. First of all, is that it?

And the other is making it clear when it's on and off.
Because of my work, my phone rings even at night, and there are times when there are sudden funerals. Even so, during the time when “nothing is happening right now,” I consciously leave work. Get in the car, eat what you like, and sit idly by. I feel like I'm giving myself permission to “take a break now” even for a short time.

In your case, it is said that you have already taken a day off from work. That's one thing: you've been able to properly protect yourself. Also, just because your parents are tired, I think you don't have to be on the “caring side” the whole time. If your parents are taking a day off, so will you. If there are no visitors, I go back to my room. It might be a good idea to get a little touch with your favorite handiwork.

In the few days leading up to the funeral, “time when you don't know what's going on” can be rather tiring than time doing something. So you don't have to try to get rid of all your fatigue. After being aware that “now is the time to get tired,” turn it off properly when you can rest.

Send your grandmother properly. That's the most important thing right now. Other than that, it's okay to cut corners a little bit.

I offer my condolences.
I think physical fatigue naturally builds up when you're busy. I think it's important to get a good night's sleep. Also, I think mental fatigue will increase if you worry about the eyes around you about how you are being evaluated. If you put aside how you are being viewed, think about what you should say and do for the people in front of you and those around you, and then act, unexpectedly you won't feel tired.
Also, there may be busy periods and free times, so I think it's important to fully enjoy fun things during free time.
I hope my grandmother will be watching over me.

I read it.
I would like to express my sincere condolences that your grandmother passed away.
I sincerely pray that your grandmother will be at ease. We wholeheartedly agree
Also, I am sure that you and everyone in your family are very sad and unhappy. Please take care of each other and help each other to the extent possible.
Funerals are probably all things you don't get used to, and since various people don't come in and get in touch with each other, I think it will be very exhausting.
Funerals are not something you can prepare and schedule in advance, so I think it will be very difficult because there are only things you don't understand.
Let's talk to the temple to that effect and ask them to respond. Also, specifically, the funeral home made the arrangements.
There are funeral homes that are polite and friendly, and there are also people who aren't.
Please make a firm estimate and explain it carefully.
I don't know the current situation, but since they send it to my precious grandmother with all their heart, it is necessary to have the funeral home handle it firmly.
You're going to get really tired, so let's take even a little rest and get some sleep.
Also, please hold a memorial service for your grandmother to the extent possible.
I'm sure your grandmother will be watching over you kindly. We wholeheartedly agree

I would like to express my sincere condolences on the passing of my grandmother. I'm going to miss you. The whole family was able to say goodbye, wasn't it?

Thinking about everyone's worries, funerals are really difficult, aren't they? However, I have met and been involved with many people in my life. My family isn't the only one who lived my grandmother's life together, is it? I think my neighbors and local people also called out and were considerate. Therefore, for the final farewell, people involved can express their condolences. Even if people you don't know come, they are probably people who have a close connection with your grandmother. Maybe it's a family duty to greet each and every one of them on behalf of the person (grandmother). Each story I hear will teach you how to live life by remembering the life my grandmother lived.

Temples are not limited to funerals; there are always people who come to the temple. Since the main hall and the back (house) are connected, people can enter the premises and living space. I also have a lot of relatives, so don't hesitate to bring my family. I thought that was the case, so I worked as a temple bride. I've lived and raised children in this environment, so as expected, I've gotten used to it, and I think I've gotten stronger.

Having said that, it's still a life you can see, and as a monk, I also have legal affairs, so I get tired every day. Death reports are also reported late at night and early in the morning, and if that happens, they will come to the family right away. We are close to our sorrow, and we will continue to be in a relationship for many more years and decades. Since it is legal work 365 days a day, it is difficult to make days off and plans, and fatigue certainly builds up.
Also, since I am involved in administrative counselors, support workers, care, etc., I pay enough attention to preparing my mind.

The important thing is not to accumulate stress. To that end, ① get to know yourself. I'm tired, tired, sad, frustrated, happy, etc. It's about understanding changes in one's condition. If you don't know, you'll overdo it. ② Self-care according to your condition. I can rest and work for my body. ③ Secure alone time. In order not to overdo it, I set aside time for myself even when I'm busy, and spend time there for what I want.

That's how I manage myself. When praying, I think it can also be a place for family care. May the whole family work hard and share.

Gassho