Past mistakes

I have read your consultation. You've been tormented by past mistakes for several years, and you're suffering so much that it interferes with your daily life. That deep chest pain is proof that you have grown and awakened to your conscience. If you're in a state of dishonesty and no remorse, you'll pass by without feeling any regrets or pain. The reason you are suffering right now is because you are sincerely facing your own heart.

In Buddhism, we all think that we humans are immature beings who make mistakes in the midst of hesitation, that is, ordinary people (bonbu). No one can change the past that has happened. However, depending on the way we live now, we can change the “meaning” of that mistake to something better. You've already reprimanded yourself enough and deeply reflected. You don't have to keep blaming yourself any more.

I'm worried about “is it OK for me to enjoy life like this” and “is it OK for me to be active in future encounters,” but of course that's fine. There is no need to limit future relationships and possibilities by being caught up in assumptions such as “if the past were different.”

The most important thing is to pledge “never repeat similar mistakes again” with this remorse in your heart, and to “live honestly and cherish the present.” It is the accumulation of sincere steps on a daily basis that gives you a firm confidence that “it's okay to be here” when you go to graduate school or society. Please go ahead with your future life in a dignified manner.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Ryoya-san, well, you've been so honest with me. No one ordered me to do what I couldn't find, and I'm trying to repent from myself. That pain is proof that your conscience is alive.

What's difficult right now is probably because I've mixed the fact that “there was a mistake” and the judgment that “I'm a person I shouldn't be.” Fraud in regular tests is certainly strange. You've grown to the point where you feel terrible about it. However, “you are not qualified to go to a technical college or university,” “don't enjoy life,” and “don't approach encounters” — that's not true, and it's too heavy a judgment that you've handed down to yourself over the years. Continuing to punish yourself is not repentance. Complete today's tests, reports, and research with your own power. That is a living confession.

Buddhism always sees us as “imperfect creatures.” Then, I teach that “I have a job that never abandons me.” I myself have asked myself many times, “Is there any point in being alive?” because of my physical handicap and suffering. The qualifications for belonging do not come from an immaculate past. It is something that will gradually be rebuilt from today's sincerity.

You can go on to graduate school or to a company. It's good to actively approach new encounters. Having fun is not a cancellation of sins. It's an honest response to being alive. Imagining that we might not have met without injustice does not mean stealing an encounter. That's because relationships aren't your property.

Divide a sheet of paper in half. Write “facts (what did you do)” on the left and “words you are saying to yourself now” on the right. If you write “you must not be there” on the right, try writing “is that a fact or a judgment?” in small letters on the side. It is said that it is interfering with daily life, so there is also a way to visit the university's student counseling room and ask them to listen to their inner feelings. It's too heavy to hold alone for years, so I recommend talking = letting go. Online consultations are also possible with Hasunoha.

You're not alone. All the hasunoha monks are also in your support team. Gassho

I read it.
You've cheated in the past and you're feeling very guilty, aren't you? I don't know the details about you or that time, but I accept your thoughts wholeheartedly.

Please put your hands on the Buddha, gods, and ancestors and confess what you have done as it is.
Let's sincerely repent and repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors. Let's sincerely apologize to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors. Also, please swear from the bottom of your heart to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors that you will never commit such mistakes or sins again.

The Buddha, God, and your ancestors will kindly accept all of your thoughts, repentance, apologies, and vows. He accepts you and forgives you.
Please do your best in your studies and work from now on. Please do your best in good faith without committing such crimes.

I sincerely pray to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors so that you can live a fulfilling life so that you will not commit such sins in the future and keep in mind good thoughts, words, and actions. We wholeheartedly agree
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Well, if that's the case, I guess it was thanks to cheating on the regular test. I can't say that's not the case.

Being tormented and interfering with your daily life is also self-earned, isn't it?

Fraud is horrible... when time passes and you have grown to a certain extent, you will understand your own foolishness.
Isn't that right? Is there growth on top of injustice? If you really understand your own foolishness, you won't repeat your injustices.

You seem confident that you are qualified to belong to a graduate school or company, and you want to enjoy your life.
If that's the case, don't forget that they are people who have cheated and come this far.

And we just move forward with sincerity in everything. For the future you envision, when things don't go well, don't cheat, and accept the fact that you still don't have enough strength. That way, you'll be able to steadily gain strength.