I bullied him when I was in elementary school

It's still going to be a hot day
I watch Hasunoha all the time
The monk's opinion is very helpful

I'm sorry for all of a sudden
I bullied one girl when I was in elementary school

The content has always been bad talk, bad talk, bacteria treatment, bacteria transfer, smelly, etc.
I think they're still doing a lot of terrible things

What's more, the girl I bullied and I were in the same class for 6 years
So I think it left the biggest impression on me

When I was in middle school, I became truant because I couldn't keep up with my studies
At that time, I remembered being bullied when I was in elementary school

I swore that I would never bully anyone from now on and that I would be kind to people

However, even if I make that decision recently, I've now realized that the feelings of the girl who bullied her haven't changed

I read a lot of videos, articles, comments, etc. about bullying, but nothing changed about the feelings of the girl who bullied me, and I have always been the perpetrator
I am the worst and worst offender in the world

This is who I am, but I want to get a job involving people with disabilities
However, since that job involves a lot of people, I began to think that I would meet a girl who had bullied me
I think meeting a girl I've bullied is the worst thing
This is because it reminds me of past memories

So I vowed never to go to the coming-of-age ceremony or class reunion
I've decided not to go out with anyone else, never get married, and not give birth to children with the blood of my own assailant

I usually had AI listen to me, but now I want the monk to listen to the story for a moment
I'm sorry that the sentences have been difficult to read for so long

4 Zen Responses

sincerely repent, apologize, and don't commit the same mistake

I read it.
You did a terrible thing to that kid when you were in elementary school. You still really regret the bullying you did. I don't know the details about you or that child, but I can tell you that you are very sorry. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

Please join hands with the Buddha, God, and your ancestors and confess your thoughts as they are from the bottom of your heart; please repent to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors from the bottom of your heart; apologize sincerely to the Buddha, gods, ancestors, and children from the bottom of your heart. And please swear to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors that you will never commit the same mistake again.

The Buddha, gods, and ancestors accept all of your thoughts, repentances, apologies, and vows, and are close to your heart. He accepts you and forgives you. The Buddha, gods, and ancestors will always watch over you and guide you in a good direction.

If by any chance you ever meet that child, let's sincerely apologize.

You will be able to live with many people from now on. Maybe you will take care of many people and form relationships from now on, you may meet someone special, you may even get married without a relationship, or you may even raise your children together with all of you.

We are all infrequent beings where we make mistakes. Buddha, gods, and ancestors always guide us and save us.

I sincerely pray to the Buddha, gods, and ancestors so that you can continue to be gently watched over by Buddha, gods, and ancestors, and that you can live every day healthily with everyone without advancing good thoughts, words, and actions, and that you can survive by sharing happiness with many people. We wholeheartedly agree
And I wholeheartedly support you.

Please also thoroughly learn about the reality of violence called prejudice and discrimination.

It made me sad as I read it.
It's not bullying, is it? What you did was “violence.”
It is an extremely vicious and cowardly act that hurts and disparages others.

They say they'll never go to the coming-of-age ceremony or reunion, but what if she's not alive?
You may have been so traumatized by your acts of violence that you can't live, and you are no longer able to live.

It's really awful.

I swear I'll never bully you and be kind to people.
You may be able to reset it, but her heartbreak, etched by your violence, is deep.

Why did this happen?
If you don't understand that, you just swore “not to do it,” and it's just a sloppy promise.

It sounds harsh, but I've seen many victims who have suffered such deep wounds and are suffering so much that they can't live. That's why it's really frustrating.

I want to get a job involving people with disabilities. It's admirable. Please also carefully study the reality of violence called prejudice and discrimination. We will live together while accepting it. To a society where everyone can shine in safety and security while feeling the reality of not just being kind. Please be someone who can protect that dignity.

Even if you don't hunt them down that far

　Kiki, please take care of yourself first. I think it's important to repent and apologize for bullying you. Other monks taught me words of healing, so I wouldn't say such a thing. There were people who said that people who bullied when they were kids would feel stuck in their lives when they became adults. But in reality, I think it's different for each person. If you look back at recent disasters, they hit that area without choosing what kind of people they are. Whether it's bullying or not, disasters strike. You can't take back what happened. But I want them to have time to reach out to people who are bullied or in trouble. If you look at people from a bully's point of view, you can see that it's not teasing or messing around.
Please always think and act on how to get rid of bullying rather than remorse. Please check microaggressions once. That's all for me. Gassho

Isn't it your escape that you don't meet that girl?

not because I don't want to make that girl suffer
You don't want to meet because you don't want to suffer, right?

That's not the case
Why don't you actually apologize to that girl?

Do you know that girl's contact information?
If you don't know
Even if you ask an expert to find it
Please confide how you feel and apologize.

That girl
Whether to meet you
Whether to forgive you
Please accept you
I don't know
That girl who might hate you
Your actions may make it a little easier.
nor
That action might heal yourself.

Even if you exhale it with AI or Hasunoha
Even if you repent to God or Buddha
The girl cannot be saved.

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