hasunoha

The regret of not being able to be kind to people won't go away

Good evening. Today, I'm a middle-aged woman who gave up her seat to her grandfather on the bus and is having a hard time.

That person didn't know when they got on, but when I noticed it, I sat down on the stairs near the exit feeling “this is unbearable.”
After that, it almost felt like a cat leaning against a tree and scraping its claws, stood up and stood by the door as if crawling against a wall.

While I was shocked by my grandfather's powerless appearance, I tried to think “maybe I'll get off soon,” and decided to “watch the situation.”
However, whether it was 30 seconds or 3 minutes later, I really regret that I should have called out to give it to them without worrying about that.
I was part of a “society that is cold to the weak.”

In the end, that old man didn't get off right away, and the only elderly woman other than me who was showing that she cared about her presence called out, “Please sit down” when the seat in front of her was vacant.
Then, an energetic voice came back from the old man in contrast to his weak gesture, saying, “No, it's fine, thank you.”

That doesn't make me feel safe.
“Why didn't the people who saw the old man give up before he settled down near the door?”
No matter what I thought about it, it was unavoidable.
I should have done what I thought was right regardless of whether people were cold or warm.
Even though I was reading a book written by a monk last night, I thought it would be meaningless if I couldn't put the Buddha's teachings into practice.

This is also confession.

But to be honest, I'm so sorry I can't help but talk about it here right now, and I'd like some words of comfort if possible.

I think the old man was a god who looked weak...
I'm sure that's the case with anyone who needs help.
I was being tested, and I got my own failure and went.

Of course, I've given up my seat many times until now.
But that doesn't make up for it, and I don't want to regret it like today anymore.
I would like you to take this opportunity to tell me what you can do to let go of your own good looks and profit and loss accounts and be able to “naturally” help people.

4 Zen Responses

The answer of the enlightened monk 

There is an answer to the words of the enlightened Showa Zen monk Inoue Yoshiyuki, who had numerous certificates of approval in the Rinzai and Soto sects.
This is something I heard from my mentor when I was young.
It seems that Master Inoue Yoshiharu came to Chosei-ji Temple in Tokorozawa, a sacred place in Saitama Prefecture, once a month from Hamamatsu City in Shizuoka Prefecture to advocate.
It seems that my master participated in master zazen sessions when he was young.
Then it seems that a woman of the same age as you was being asked exactly the same question as you.
👩
On the way here, there were people picking up empty cans and bottles in front of the station. It's better to do good things, I know that. When I try to do it, I get worried about people's eyes... and I don't want people to think they're trying to look good, so I can't do it.
Actually, I think it's better to do good things, but then my body doesn't move. What should I do?

So, it seems that Master Inoue Yoshikane was told this.

Even if you don't think you're good or bad, if you do that, only the fact that you did it will be done properly.
If you move what's there over here, what's on the pitch will certainly move quickly to the coach. That kind of thing will be done properly.
So (don't worry about people's eyes, unconditionally, properly know and understand these principles), just do that, and that's fine.
()!
⚡ It seems that the master was shocked when he heard this story, as if he had been struck by lightning.
Facts have absolutely nothing to do with Koch's “human conditions” or convenience.
However, if you move things from here to Atch, that will just happen.
There are no people.
Facts go beyond people's thoughts and opinions; that's just the case. It's like that.
⚡ I also heard this story and was shocked by the lightning strike, Pyokopee 🐣 scales from my eyes, blotches from my nose, unblocked my open mouth, Buddha from my mouth, ectoplasm from my nose, and I both fell and opened my eyes. Unbind your mind and feel free.
As humans, small conditionals bind us.
Even North Korea is teaching its citizens that it is unconditional. (That is exploitation in another sense...)
Wouldn't it be better to nurture true unconditionality with age?
Unconditionally is the greatest effect of the Buddha, where Kannon's helping hand stretches instantaneously and immediately.
It is unconditional for me to write this to you.
It would be great if all humans could do that. (Like a teacher)

The painful realization that “I should have done what I thought was right”

Thank you for your consultation. You're still feeling a deep pain in your heart for not being able to give up your seat to your grandfather. The strong regret of “if you had done it that way at that time” is “suffering” born only because your original kindness and a warm heart of caring for others are at the root.

In Buddhism, they teach the “Eightfold Path (Hassou Dao)” as a path to Satori. The act of giving up a seat is a “right act,” which is the right thing to do. It certainly wasn't possible to put that into action this time. However, for us ordinary people (bonbu), it is extremely difficult to maintain perfect practice all the time. Therefore, there is no need to excessively blame yourself for not being able to do it or belittle yourself for failure.

What I definitely want you to keep an eye on is the feeling of sincerely regretting “I should have called out and given up,” and hoping that it will be right. This is proof that the Eightfold Path's “right thinking (correct thinking)” has already been put into practice, and that heart itself is very precious.

The question is “How to let go of good looks and profit and loss accounts and be able to help people naturally,” but there is no need to force yourself to try to change your mind. The painful realization I had this time that “I should have done what I thought was right” will be the driving force for the next one. No human being can be perfect, but if you keep that beautiful “right mindset” in your heart, your body should move quite naturally the next time you encounter the same scene.

This incident was by no means a failure, and it was an important relationship for becoming a kinder you.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

Please help them from now on

I read it.
I feel like I understand your thoughts and feelings very well. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.
As you said, that person was probably a Buddha god. Or maybe it's someone who will eventually become a Buddha god.

Please put your hands on the Buddha from the bottom of your heart and express it as it is. Let the Buddha accept all of your thoughts.
Buddha and God will kindly accept all of your thoughts. He will be close to you and guide you in a good direction.

And if such a thing happens in the future, please swear to God Buddha to kindly help others.

I sincerely pray to God Buddha so that you can have compassion for the future and live a healthy life while caring for others and helping each other. We wholeheartedly agree

Let's properly praise myself for being compassionate and fond of others

There was such a thing, wasn't it? It must have felt like a long time to you. That's why they feel sorry for not being able to do anything, and they probably feel guilty and remorseful.

However, I think there are many ways to shape kindness. The “caring” you went to is also kind, and “calling out” and “giving up your seat” is also kindness. I think you were showing kindness at that time, too.

I was being tested by God...
If that's the case, what you think and what you do are different, and there are situations you were in. If I had been closer, I might have been able to make a quick call. If I had made eye contact with my grandfather, I might have sent him a signal saying please. That step also depends on the position you can do naturally.

“Naturally,” your actions are also influenced by buses, trains, and roads when you notice and where you are. So, let's properly praise ourselves for being compassionate and fond of others.