I'm a single mom, but I've settled my cohabitation with him

I'm a single mother with a 9 year old son.
It came to an end in 3 months after I started living with the guy I had been in a relationship with for close to 5 years.

He bought a house because he wanted to remarry someday, and we moved too.
However, as soon as we started living together, they said, “It's impossible after all.”
It seems to be different from the life I had imagined.
I'll omit the reason, but I was the only one and I was always alone and frequently mentioned that this gap won't be filled even after the end of this world.
Gradually, I'm not living like this. I don't want it. get out. It has come to be said.

I was kind to my son.
They also took me on trips and play until we lived together.
He did a lot of things that I thought would be impossible for me when I was single, and my son loved him and he was like a father.

We are divorced from each other. I thought that if something were to happen, we could discuss it and move forward. I told him that I didn't want to break up, but he said that what was impossible was impossible and there was no point in discussing it, so I was evicted half-forcefully.
The luggage is still there.

My son changed schools due to living together.
I don't have any money, so now I'm at my parents' house in the city.
If you can't rent a rental within the school district, it's time to transfer another school.
My heart hurts when I swayed it around.
When I got divorced last time, it was difficult, such as wanting to leave myself and not having to worry about school because my son was preschool, etc., but there were no conditions, so I was able to quickly build a foundation for my life.
I think this time has a long way to go.
I was making arrangements with the intention of living with him for the rest of my life, so...
I don't have the energy to crawl up again.

I wonder if stubbornness, inability to discuss, and lack of patience was the cause of the previous divorce? It made me think.
When I think about my memories and the bright future that was supposed to come,
If you don't feel bad about him, your regrets will be so strong that you won't be able to live the rest of your life.

4 Zen Responses

Thank you for your question.
Love is called blind. When you're dating, you only see the other person's good points. There is a saying that he was kind to my son, but I think true kindness is a consideration that won't let him transfer to another school. Maybe they were only able to see superficial things such as appearances, words, and travel. But it's not your fault. That's because my ex is to blame. Even from a man's point of view, I think he's the worst man in my life. Let's think positively that I'm glad I didn't get married, and that I almost lost my way when I was kicked out when I was around 50 years old.
My son may be transferring schools again, but let's apologize and ask for forgiveness. It's easy to make friends when you're in elementary school, so I think it's fine. But I'll make the next one the last time they transfer schools.
The next person you go out with should be a kind person in the true sense of the word who can rent and live within the school district in consideration of children.
May your child grow up bright and healthy.

Ambidextrous feelings are illusions

Basically, there are no “ambitions” in the world.
There are only moments when the arrow of unrequited love happens to be facing each other.
To that extent, people's feelings change.
It's not that anyone is at fault.
However, originally, it makes sense to get sufficient child support from my ex-husband.
The lack of money is my ex-husband's fault, not his ex.
Think that you've been saved for 5 years thanks to your ex, so let's not hold a grudge.
Note that if it is a public elementary school, you may not have to transfer schools even if you move, at the discretion of the Board of Education.
Please talk to your school.
Now, in Buddhism, it is said that “the mind is impermanent.”
Thoughts and feelings come and go from moment to moment, disappearing, and changing.
That's why people can chat and laugh even during sad funeral breaks.
Even in the midst of difficult days, there are surely moments where you can laugh.
However, if you fall into an imposing circle of thoughts in the same information due to delusional distractions about the past, future, yourself, or others, it takes away time for your mind to rest and increases stress.
So, intentionally, let's change our mind to a fresh mind by thinking about something else.
appending
The rules for transferring schools differ depending on the local government. I'm sorry.

Prioritize living with your son in peace

I read it.
I read that you and your son have been evicted and are having a hard time. I don't know the details about you, your son, or that person, but I understand your anxiety, worries, and painful feelings.
Please calm down first.
Let's promptly consult with your son and the local government's child family support center or child counseling center about the future and ask them to respond positively and receive support. Also, let's ask for lots of support by consulting with various support groups.
You and your son can live every day with peace of mind with the support of so many people.

I don't know what kind of thoughts that person had when they said such things, but I think they're probably stuck talking to that person right now.
There are people who still don't fit in life, and there are a lot of things that don't go well. Let's prioritize our everyday life with our son without worrying too much about it.
They will stabilize as they receive various types of support, and they will also be blessed with new encounters.
First of all, I sincerely pray that you and your son will be able to live each day peacefully and with peace of mind, and that they will be able to survive healthily while being blessed with relationships with many people. And I wholeheartedly support you and your son. We wholeheartedly agree

My son is here. A family that walks and lives together.

I can get along well with him. There were such expectations and reassurances, so they should have lived together. His words are very cold and harsh. If I told my son, they should have prepared to move to an environment where they live together, but I can't believe they'll leave there again.

Your son probably won't be able to keep up with his understanding and feelings even if he accepts a situation where he is thrown out by the man who accepted him. I feel guilty for getting involved in adult affairs. It makes me regret why this happened.

Even so, it was probably something the two of them discussed. You have a son. It's a family that walks and lives together. At times like this, let's cherish the relationship between parents and children while conveying the happiness that is right in front of us and the unchanging love.

Please also connect to public support systems and communities. That's because solid support will also help you overcome it.

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