I lost my energy to live due to a workplace romance that suddenly ended

I've been in a relationship with someone at work for about 3 years.
They lived together in a semi-cohabitation state, and I was seriously thinking about my future.

There was some friction due to lifestyle rhythms and values, and I thought we would resolve it by discussing it each time, but I was suddenly told goodbye by him about 2 months ago.
Then, I left him a month ago by leaving my room.

From the time we talked about breaking up until we left the house, I was able to talk normally with him at work, but after I left the house, he became cold all at once. After that, I went home with another woman at work and started getting along well.

I am filled with a sense of loss that I have lost a part of my body, yet soon after we broke up, the sight of him being on good terms with another woman came into view, and I am depressed by feelings of sadness and jealousy.

I pretended to be a coincidence at work and called out across the hallway, and they said, “I don't want to see their faces anymore, I originally wanted to be good friends with other women without worrying about them, don't interfere.”
The attitude of really rejection was taken, and I felt like I couldn't go back to those days when we had fun talking... and I couldn't get my work, life, or anything.

Actually, even when we were dating, there were moral harassment elements, such as words that denied my self-esteem (smart, not cute), making my voice loud when I was emotional, and complaining even though I didn't do housework, but they were kind when we went on dates, and there was a great sense of security during casual times in our daily lives. He's even taller and cooler... there's a section where I depended on him.

However, when his sense of self-affirmation and self-esteem was originally low due to his words and actions, I was unable to find the value of my existence due to this break up.

It's a rambling sentence, but I'd like some advice on how to sort out my feelings in the future and how to look forward.

Also, I've always had a grudge against him, such as wanting him to regret breaking up with him, not wanting him to go out with a new woman right away, etc., and it's painful. What should I do to get rid of those negative feelings?

4 Zen Responses

Try to think that the “bad relationship” that is eating away at you has been cut

A sudden farewell, and a cold attitude at work where we meet face to face every day. It's natural to suffer from a sense of loss and jealousy that makes you feel torn apart. I would like to express my sincere condolences to you for your difficult days.

In Buddhism, the root of suffering is thought to be “obsession (obsession).” The feeling of “I want him to regret it” and “I don't want him to go out with a new woman” is an obsession you should let go of. The consultant left his heart in the image of “the guy who was kind and cool,” but the appearance of denying his self-esteem on a daily basis and releasing heartless words at the end is his unmistakable nature.

Your relationship with him was something that tore your heart away. If they had continued to get married, it would have been an irreversible tragedy. Think of this farewell as a break in a “bad relationship” that is eating away at you. The value of your existence has never been lost, but you have been protected from further suffering.

You don't have to try to force your negative feelings to go away. Every time you wake up, take it “I was that serious,” and shift your gaze not to your past boyfriend, but to “how healthy you are now and in the future.”

Little by little, you are freed from obsession, and when you regain your original brilliance, a “good relationship” where you can respect each other always circulates there. Don't be impatient and take care of yourself the most right now.

Worship
Engiji Temple Shakujo

It's about forgetting about such a man as soon as possible

Mr. Tamaharu, please contact us.

They said they had been living with someone at work for about 3 years, and then they said goodbye all of a sudden.

Soon after they broke up, they went home with another woman at work.

There are still men like this, aren't there?

I want Tamaharu's 3 years back, right?

The next girlfriend will also break up again, as if nothing had happened.

What's more, troll it in a familiar place...

There used to be such a disorderly man.

It is said that they are bullish because they think they will be popular.

The type of man who creates a lot of menherous women.

It's definitely not a good thing, and I'm glad I broke up with that guy.

That's exactly what makes me look forward to it for 6 or 7 years, rather than being taken off the ladder,

If it were now, it would be different again,

Even if you start from 0 with someone who thinks of Tamaharu, you'll be in time enough.

Men don't have faces.
Please take a look at one piece of skin rather than something

Find someone who truly loves you, meet them, and enjoy the real thrill of being loved.

It's not a decoration, such as a fluffy man.

You're a good year, you're not a high school student, and you're bored in class, so next, you're with the kid who's changing girlfriends.

It's childish.

The next person I meet would be nice if I could meet someone who would give me a sense of self-affirmation and self-esteem.

Tamaharu isn't even a millimeter bad, so don't worry about it.

If I'm worried, I feel like the other side thinks.

There are a lot of men like this lately.

Besides being childish, there isn't a shred of consideration for women.

The way to get rid of negative feelings is to pretend they weren't there, although it may be painful.

It's unfortunate that my heart is shaken by this person.

Please focus on your next opponent.

Having a wonderful encounter with Tamaharu and showing off her happy face is the best revenge.

The word revenge is bad in Buddhism,

Poison is controlled by poison.

You can't lose!

Please be happy!

I wholeheartedly support Tamaharu!

Please take good care of you

I read it.
I read that you are having a very hard time breaking up with that guy. I don't know the details about you or that person, but it really conveys your painful feelings. I understand your feelings from the bottom of my heart.

I think that person is such a selfish person in the first place. I think saying terrible things or terrible things to you is dating abuse. Unbeknownst to you, I think you were hurt and harmed by that person.
Maybe I didn't feel that way when we were in a relationship. There are probably times when you assume that this kind of thing is forgivable because you like it, but in reality, that person was violating human rights against you.

https://www.gender.go.jp/policy/no_violence/date_dv/index.html

https://www.gov-online.go.jp/article/202402/entry-5667.html

https://www.jinken-library.jp/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/date_dv.pdf

I think parting ways will be very difficult for you, but first please take good care of yourself, relax your mind and body, and heal them.

I sincerely pray that you will be able to get away from such bad relationships and live a compassionate and happy life with those you really care about, respecting each other.
And I will support you from the bottom of my heart. We wholeheartedly agree

You don't have to deny yourself as a girlfriend while cherishing good things

That's terrible, isn't it? He may look cool, but he doesn't behave smartly at all, and he's an ugly person who only attacks women.

Even if they break up, they're probably the people we've spent time with and loved until now. If that's the case, you should deal with it carefully as a colleague at work. Even so, I've been spoiled by my life with you, and I've taken an intimidating attitude, such as making my voice hoarse, and I've also taken acts that look down on you. They broke up, and as soon as they left the room, they rejected you and didn't even want to see your face. This is terrible. He was a person who didn't mind getting hurt... I'm disappointed.

Is it a pity for him that he doesn't want him to go out with a new woman right away? Or maybe it's because of unforgivable anger, like guessing?

There are probably times when you haven't been able to handle (be convinced) the breakup, and you're probably hurt by his changed attitude.

I don't want my memories up until now or even the time we've loved each other to be destroyed by him. Your memories are yours alone. No matter what is done to him, he won't be taken away.
You don't have to deny yourself as a girlfriend while cherishing good things.
You will continue to be blessed with good relationships.

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