What is happiness

Hello, Aya. What does it mean to love? Forgiving your partner, finding yourself in your partner, and being able to enrich your heart and be kind to him and those around you, isn't it? Isn't it about sharing the other person's sorrow and joy? Aya, isn't your center of gravity on saying that you like yourself who is loved by him? Do you love him, or do you love yourself being loved by him? If you really like him, let your love grow and mature. I want bright light to shine on both of you.

Aya

This is Kawaguchi Hidetoshi. This is my humble answer to the question.

Since “happiness” has different values and meanings for each person, it is not something that can be definitively said to be “happiness,” but “happiness” is like a daytime star, and I usually think that “happiness” is something you don't notice easily.

We all have difficulties and problems in our lives. We believe that it is only when that difficulty or problem occurs (darkness) that we can understand what happiness (star) is.

Whether it's a lover or partner, when they run into difficulties or problems, it is important whether they are partners who can help, support, share, and overcome each other.

The past is in the past, and if you stay caught up in his past forever, you may not be able to see the feelings and feelings of “his” now.

It would be nice if we could cherish his feelings and feelings “now” and walk together as partners who can spend a happy life through “love” where they can accept each other's hearts in the middle.

I wish you happiness.

Kawaguchi Hidetoshi Gassho

As more and more people suffer when they don't meet, I'm happy to have met someone I can love so intensely. It's not something anyone can get. However, in terms of Buddhism, happiness is two sides of the same coin as unhappiness... Aya herself, who said, “It's many times more painful in proportion to what you like.”

The Buddha did not aim to be reincarnated into the celestial world. That's because I realized that even if I got a so-called happy environment, the chain of pain and suffering wouldn't stop. On top of that, my third goal was not to pursue happiness, nor to dare to abandon happiness... that was my enlightenment. It is not an expression of happiness, and it is sometimes paraphrased with expressions such as “leaving suffering” or “peace of mind.”

Let's dive a little deeper into Buddhism. The Buddha asserted that everything was a pain. In other words, this world is full of things that don't turn out the way you want them to. Life didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, even Buddha... if that were the case, there would be no island you would be attached to if you didn't get hungry at some point in your life stage.

However, if it's something like that, on the contrary, it becomes easier if you swallow it. This is because it calms down the feeling of asking someone for what you want for yourself. The feeling that I want him to be his first and only partner calms down... but what happens when he likes him...? I have no choice but to accept him just the way he is. I feel comfortable because I have no choice but to accept it.

Wanting him to be his first time is a natural feeling. But as for Buddhism, it's actually nothing but worry. Worry is the cause of suffering. It's not a story about life sucks or anything like that; it's simply a cause of suffering for yourself. Perceiving that it is such a thing is the first step towards peace of mind.

... you're tired already, aren't you? All you have to do is get tired. It's okay if you get tired. I'm already tired of the life stage where I want what I want from others... I'm exhausted, so isn't it okay to just be my boyfriend just the way I am... that's fine. If you keep telling yourself that, someday you'll be able to laugh and say, “You were young back then.”

Finally, I would like to stick a nail in a nutshell.
Conversely, I've never been more blessed than being able to meet someone who accepts me just the way I am.

I think the word perfect refers to a state where an obstacle has been resolved and there are no complaints. It's difficult to seek perfection in relationships, and I think the desire to seek it is important. I think great work and art are the crystallization of that pursuit. However, there is almost no perfect state from the beginning, and what makes perfect varies from person to person. The feelings you are looking for him are sublime, and I think he has a very strong love for him, but if you observe closely, I think it has reached the dominant domain. Lust is intense, and it's a troublesome thing that ignites all kinds of emotions. And it makes me think a lot. Perhaps the flame of love is burning violently in your heart. This probably creates a confused state of being unrequited, where people seek something they cannot obtain even if they ask for it.
The word perfect originally comes from the term “protecting” a beautiful stone called a wall. In your case, it's impossible to seek a perfect state for him, that is, a state where the past is not, but I think it is possible to complete the wall, that is, fulfill your love. I think there are many things in marriage, including each other and family, so it would be a good idea to think about them by including them. I think happiness means knowing enough and being satisfied with it.